if something happened to them, I’m not sure how I would take it. Besides, we’ve lost a few folks, many of them with prior military experience. I wouldn’t have the first idea of how to command such troops,” Jason comments.
“You wouldn’t necessarily have to do that. You have others who can lead them,” I say, nodding toward the soldier who remained.
The soldier laughs and shakes his head. “Sir, I was just a private and wouldn’t have the first clue. Well, perhaps the first one, but definitely not the second.”
“There are those with the soldi…” I start, only to be interrupted by Gonzalez.
“Sir, there may be another way. If we could speak about it in private.”
I nod, and we step outside into the hallway. “Okay, Gonzalez, what is it?”
“Sir, we could help them clear the marauders out and then leave them with the troops,” she states.
“That’s a pretty risky option. We only have two teams,” I reply.
“We could use the troops we brought with us, sir.”
“I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that,” I state.
“You have to start the trust somewhere.”
“Okay, let me run this past you. Not a day ago, we were locked in combat against them. We don’t know them or what they’re thinking. What if they decide to head off on their own…while we’re out in the field? They outnumber us, a lot to a few,” I say.
“In their defense, sir, and I’m not arguing the point with you, but they didn’t know what they were defending. Besides, they’re soldiers. They wouldn’t do that. Call it a gut feeling.”
I have to admit that this weighs heavily on me. I want to trust them, but to do so would put us at great risk. One that I’m not sure I want to take.
Seeing my hesitance, she continues. “If I could speak frankly.” That phrase has always scared the shit out of me. “And I don’t mean any disrespect. I know you are just trying to do right by the teams and the entire compound. Helping these people out feels like the right thing to do and sometimes you have to jump in with both boots…sir.”
The problem is, she’s right. It does feel like the right thing to do. That doesn’t mean I have to like it though. I think it’s my fear of failure coming to the forefront. I don’t want to make a wrong decision that jeopardizes the teams. If it were just me, I’d probably be beating feet to the southwest the moment we landed. There’s just so much that could go wrong from a momentary lapse in reasoning. I try not to let that affect my decision-making process, but it’s there nonetheless. In the past, if I ever came around to second-guessing my decisions, I would revert to the one that felt right…the instinctual one. Whether it made sense or not. My gut hasn’t failed me yet. Gonzalez is correct; this is the right thing to do. If we lose our humanity, we’ve lost everything important.
“All right, Gonzalez. You’re right. You apparently get to be my conscience for the moment. I’ll suggest it, but just so you know, I’m not overly comfy with it. I just wish we had the Spooky with us.”
“We could go get it, sir.”
“No, there’s no time. Once we get back home, we’ll be up to our armpits in a mess,” I comment.
“Well, if they’re your armpits, sir, then whatever mess is there will run away screaming,” she says with a smile.
“Oh, you’re funny. Lynn is just going to love this when I radio her,” I state, sighing as I think about that conversation.
“No offense, sir, but you could always not tell her.”
I burst into laughter. That has to be close to the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.
“If she finds out, and she will, and knows I didn’t tell her, well, I might as well just take out my knife and start peeling my skin off now.”
She chuckles and we adjourn back inside the room where we present our proposal. As we discuss the option, tossing ideas back and forth, Jason turns to me suddenly.
“Jack, I was thinking about the people who brought
“You wouldn’t necessarily have to do that. You have others who can lead them,” I say, nodding toward the soldier who remained.
The soldier laughs and shakes his head. “Sir, I was just a private and wouldn’t have the first clue. Well, perhaps the first one, but definitely not the second.”
“There are those with the soldi…” I start, only to be interrupted by Gonzalez.
“Sir, there may be another way. If we could speak about it in private.”
I nod, and we step outside into the hallway. “Okay, Gonzalez, what is it?”
“Sir, we could help them clear the marauders out and then leave them with the troops,” she states.
“That’s a pretty risky option. We only have two teams,” I reply.
“We could use the troops we brought with us, sir.”
“I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that,” I state.
“You have to start the trust somewhere.”
“Okay, let me run this past you. Not a day ago, we were locked in combat against them. We don’t know them or what they’re thinking. What if they decide to head off on their own…while we’re out in the field? They outnumber us, a lot to a few,” I say.
“In their defense, sir, and I’m not arguing the point with you, but they didn’t know what they were defending. Besides, they’re soldiers. They wouldn’t do that. Call it a gut feeling.”
I have to admit that this weighs heavily on me. I want to trust them, but to do so would put us at great risk. One that I’m not sure I want to take.
Seeing my hesitance, she continues. “If I could speak frankly.” That phrase has always scared the shit out of me. “And I don’t mean any disrespect. I know you are just trying to do right by the teams and the entire compound. Helping these people out feels like the right thing to do and sometimes you have to jump in with both boots…sir.”
The problem is, she’s right. It does feel like the right thing to do. That doesn’t mean I have to like it though. I think it’s my fear of failure coming to the forefront. I don’t want to make a wrong decision that jeopardizes the teams. If it were just me, I’d probably be beating feet to the southwest the moment we landed. There’s just so much that could go wrong from a momentary lapse in reasoning. I try not to let that affect my decision-making process, but it’s there nonetheless. In the past, if I ever came around to second-guessing my decisions, I would revert to the one that felt right…the instinctual one. Whether it made sense or not. My gut hasn’t failed me yet. Gonzalez is correct; this is the right thing to do. If we lose our humanity, we’ve lost everything important.
“All right, Gonzalez. You’re right. You apparently get to be my conscience for the moment. I’ll suggest it, but just so you know, I’m not overly comfy with it. I just wish we had the Spooky with us.”
“We could go get it, sir.”
“No, there’s no time. Once we get back home, we’ll be up to our armpits in a mess,” I comment.
“Well, if they’re your armpits, sir, then whatever mess is there will run away screaming,” she says with a smile.
“Oh, you’re funny. Lynn is just going to love this when I radio her,” I state, sighing as I think about that conversation.
“No offense, sir, but you could always not tell her.”
I burst into laughter. That has to be close to the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.
“If she finds out, and she will, and knows I didn’t tell her, well, I might as well just take out my knife and start peeling my skin off now.”
She chuckles and we adjourn back inside the room where we present our proposal. As we discuss the option, tossing ideas back and forth, Jason turns to me suddenly.
“Jack, I was thinking about the people who brought
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