strange.
“Damn it, Whitley, stop laughing,” he growled, releasing my arm and turning to face me. He was holding on to Bailey’s legs, her dress so short that I could see her pink underwear from where I stood. I wished he would change her position. That would embarrass the hell out of her if anyone saw. “You said you’d keep an eye on her,” Nathan said. “You promised me.”
“She’s fine, though, right?” I said. “She just had a little too much to drink. I told her to take it slow.”
“You shouldn’t have let her drink to begin with!” he shouted. “She’s
thirteen
, for God’s sake.”
“I had my first drink when I was fourteen,” I retorted. “Not much older than her.”
“Yeah, and look where it got you.”
I froze for a second, stunned.
It took a minute for the words to sink in. I stared up at Nathan, anger burning away the amusement I’d felt before. Scorching the insides of my stomach and chest.
“Hypocrite,” I spat. “I didn’t hear you complaining last time we were at a party. You got wasted, too. It’s not like I took advantage of you. You made the choice to sleep with me.”
“I know,” he said through clenched teeth. “And you were the biggest mistake I have
ever
made.”
I drew back, my hand flying to my chest, my fingers curling into my palm. His words hit me like a punch in the gut. I opened my mouth to say something. To yell at him. To deliver a good comeback that would sting him in the same way. But nothing came to me. My throat was closing in on itself.
Biggest
mistake. I was his biggest mistake.
He wasn’t mine.
He didn’t even make the top ten. Maybe not my top one hundred. Because, despite all of the shit going on, that night with him had actually been nice. Great, even.
Nathan’s eyes softened, and he reached for me with his free hand. “Whit, I—”
“Don’t touch me!” I screeched, slapping at his hand. “Get the hell away from me, Nathan.”
“I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”
But I was already walking away from him.
“Whit, where are you going? Whitley?”
“I’m walking back.”
“What? You’re wasted. There is no way you can make it home on your own.”
“Watch me.”
And, as if to punctuate this statement, the back of my shoe slipped out from under me, sending me stumbling forward on the pavement. I caught myself by grabbing hold of a lamppost, but it took a second for me to regain my balance. By then, Nathan was standing beside me again.
“Come on, Whit.”
“Don’t touch me,” I murmured. Tears were sticking to my eyelashes, and I was disgusted with myself. It wasn’t just about Nathan; I knew that. I hadn’t cried since arriving in Hamilton. I’d held back all the anger, all the hurt, everything I’d felt toward Mom and Dad and Sylvia. But being rejected by Wesley and kissing another boy I barely knew and wasn’t even attracted to and the way the bitchy girls had looked at me and what Nathan had just said… It all piled on top of the hell I’d been through that week, and I couldn’t keep it in any longer. But I hated myself for crying, especially in front of him.
Nothing was funny anymore.
“Come on,” Nathan repeated. He didn’t reach for meagain, but his eyes never wavered from my face. “Let’s go home, okay?”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, blinking back the tears. Then I knelt down and slipped off my sandals. When I stood back up, I held them in my left hand, letting them dangle at my side. The sidewalk was dirty, but it felt cool and solid beneath my feet.
“Okay,” I said, already walking toward the car. “Let’s go.”
Not home. It wasn’t my home. But it would have to do for a while.
We didn’t speak. Not a word. Nathan didn’t even turn on the radio or sing or anything. In fact, the only sound in the car was Bailey’s gentle breathing. She was asleep in the backseat of the Honda, letting out slow puffs of air through her nose.
My buzz was wearing off. I
“Damn it, Whitley, stop laughing,” he growled, releasing my arm and turning to face me. He was holding on to Bailey’s legs, her dress so short that I could see her pink underwear from where I stood. I wished he would change her position. That would embarrass the hell out of her if anyone saw. “You said you’d keep an eye on her,” Nathan said. “You promised me.”
“She’s fine, though, right?” I said. “She just had a little too much to drink. I told her to take it slow.”
“You shouldn’t have let her drink to begin with!” he shouted. “She’s
thirteen
, for God’s sake.”
“I had my first drink when I was fourteen,” I retorted. “Not much older than her.”
“Yeah, and look where it got you.”
I froze for a second, stunned.
It took a minute for the words to sink in. I stared up at Nathan, anger burning away the amusement I’d felt before. Scorching the insides of my stomach and chest.
“Hypocrite,” I spat. “I didn’t hear you complaining last time we were at a party. You got wasted, too. It’s not like I took advantage of you. You made the choice to sleep with me.”
“I know,” he said through clenched teeth. “And you were the biggest mistake I have
ever
made.”
I drew back, my hand flying to my chest, my fingers curling into my palm. His words hit me like a punch in the gut. I opened my mouth to say something. To yell at him. To deliver a good comeback that would sting him in the same way. But nothing came to me. My throat was closing in on itself.
Biggest
mistake. I was his biggest mistake.
He wasn’t mine.
He didn’t even make the top ten. Maybe not my top one hundred. Because, despite all of the shit going on, that night with him had actually been nice. Great, even.
Nathan’s eyes softened, and he reached for me with his free hand. “Whit, I—”
“Don’t touch me!” I screeched, slapping at his hand. “Get the hell away from me, Nathan.”
“I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”
But I was already walking away from him.
“Whit, where are you going? Whitley?”
“I’m walking back.”
“What? You’re wasted. There is no way you can make it home on your own.”
“Watch me.”
And, as if to punctuate this statement, the back of my shoe slipped out from under me, sending me stumbling forward on the pavement. I caught myself by grabbing hold of a lamppost, but it took a second for me to regain my balance. By then, Nathan was standing beside me again.
“Come on, Whit.”
“Don’t touch me,” I murmured. Tears were sticking to my eyelashes, and I was disgusted with myself. It wasn’t just about Nathan; I knew that. I hadn’t cried since arriving in Hamilton. I’d held back all the anger, all the hurt, everything I’d felt toward Mom and Dad and Sylvia. But being rejected by Wesley and kissing another boy I barely knew and wasn’t even attracted to and the way the bitchy girls had looked at me and what Nathan had just said… It all piled on top of the hell I’d been through that week, and I couldn’t keep it in any longer. But I hated myself for crying, especially in front of him.
Nothing was funny anymore.
“Come on,” Nathan repeated. He didn’t reach for meagain, but his eyes never wavered from my face. “Let’s go home, okay?”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, blinking back the tears. Then I knelt down and slipped off my sandals. When I stood back up, I held them in my left hand, letting them dangle at my side. The sidewalk was dirty, but it felt cool and solid beneath my feet.
“Okay,” I said, already walking toward the car. “Let’s go.”
Not home. It wasn’t my home. But it would have to do for a while.
We didn’t speak. Not a word. Nathan didn’t even turn on the radio or sing or anything. In fact, the only sound in the car was Bailey’s gentle breathing. She was asleep in the backseat of the Honda, letting out slow puffs of air through her nose.
My buzz was wearing off. I
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