married. I hated having my emotions jerked around and played with. I despised wondering about him and fretting about the future and always feeling like something was missing. It just wasn’t worth it, you know?”
Jeremiah sighed. “Sure I know—I was that guy. Overcommitted to my work and undercommitted to my family. Gone all the time. Selfish to the core.”
He reached out and took her free hand. For a moment, he held it, stroking down the length of her fingers one by one. “Lara, I’m trying very hard not to be him anymore. And I think you really don’t want to be the un-attached, unemotional, uninvolved woman he turned you into. When I look in your eyes…when I watch you with Miss Ethel…or my boys…I see the tender woman inside. You hold Tobias, and…and I believe you wish you could turn back time as much as I do.”
The baby whimpered and she drew her hand away to tuck in his blankets. “We can’t turn back time, Jeremiah. I’m who I am.”
“I like who you are. You’re beautiful. Smart. Gifted. Kind. Generous.”
“Stop.” She blew out a breath. Tobias squirmed, and she lifted him to her shoulder and began to pat his bottom. “Is this what you say to women? Don’t say it to me. Don’t play with me. Words like that are scary, Jeremiah. They’re disturbing. They make me feel…”
“Feel what?”
“Oh, I don’t know!” She stood, and with the sudden movement, the baby began to cry. “I’ve put that part of me away. That swooning, romantic, idealistic girl. The hope and the desire. Imagining how it could be and wanting it. No—I’m not doing that anymore.”
“I wasn’t lying when I said what I think of you, Lara,” he said, standing and walking beside her as she paced the floor and jiggled Tobias up and down. “I meant every word. I feel different about you than I’ve felt about any other woman. It’s because you’re different.”
“No, no, no. It’s just the weather and the baby and all the changes. You’re off-kilter. Give it time, and you’ll be back to normal.”
“I don’t want to go back—ever.” He tried to get her to look at him, but she had turned her face away as the baby’s sobs increased in intensity. “I like listening to Miss Ethel talk about the Depression and the war and the telephone company. I loved roasting that goat with the Murayas. You brought me those things, Lara. Why won’t you let me near you?”
“Here. Here, take this baby.” She held Tobias out, and now Jeremiah saw that her cheeks were streaked with tears. “Take him and give him some milk. I’m going home.”
“Don’t go, Lara. Please. Just talk to me.”
He tried to maneuver the wailing little boy as he followed Lara into the foyer. Fists clenched and head bobbing, Tobias cut loose with a screech that could wake the dead. Jeremiah struggled to control him and try to prevent Lara from putting on her coat. It was impossible. As the baby wailed, she tugged her hat over her curls.
“The milk is in the freezer,” she said, sniffling. “And don’t do this to me ever again, Jeremiah Maddox.”
With that, she pulled open the door and stepped outside. Jeremiah had no choice but to hurry toward the kitchen, baby in arms, praying he could remember how to work the defroster on the microwave.
Where were the bottles? How hot should the milk be? Did people sterilize things these days? He pulled open the freezer door and spotted the small white bags Lara had brought over from the guest cottage. Grabbing one, he tried to make soothing noises while he opened the microwave door.
“It’s okay, Tobias,” he murmured. “Don’t cry. I’ve got you, buddy. I’ll have this milk ready in just a second, and you’re gonna be feeling a lot better before you know it. If I could just…set you down for…”
“Give him to me.”
Jeremiah turned to find Lara standing in the kitchen with her arms out. “You brought me over here. I don’t have my car. And besides, the roads are covered
Jeremiah sighed. “Sure I know—I was that guy. Overcommitted to my work and undercommitted to my family. Gone all the time. Selfish to the core.”
He reached out and took her free hand. For a moment, he held it, stroking down the length of her fingers one by one. “Lara, I’m trying very hard not to be him anymore. And I think you really don’t want to be the un-attached, unemotional, uninvolved woman he turned you into. When I look in your eyes…when I watch you with Miss Ethel…or my boys…I see the tender woman inside. You hold Tobias, and…and I believe you wish you could turn back time as much as I do.”
The baby whimpered and she drew her hand away to tuck in his blankets. “We can’t turn back time, Jeremiah. I’m who I am.”
“I like who you are. You’re beautiful. Smart. Gifted. Kind. Generous.”
“Stop.” She blew out a breath. Tobias squirmed, and she lifted him to her shoulder and began to pat his bottom. “Is this what you say to women? Don’t say it to me. Don’t play with me. Words like that are scary, Jeremiah. They’re disturbing. They make me feel…”
“Feel what?”
“Oh, I don’t know!” She stood, and with the sudden movement, the baby began to cry. “I’ve put that part of me away. That swooning, romantic, idealistic girl. The hope and the desire. Imagining how it could be and wanting it. No—I’m not doing that anymore.”
“I wasn’t lying when I said what I think of you, Lara,” he said, standing and walking beside her as she paced the floor and jiggled Tobias up and down. “I meant every word. I feel different about you than I’ve felt about any other woman. It’s because you’re different.”
“No, no, no. It’s just the weather and the baby and all the changes. You’re off-kilter. Give it time, and you’ll be back to normal.”
“I don’t want to go back—ever.” He tried to get her to look at him, but she had turned her face away as the baby’s sobs increased in intensity. “I like listening to Miss Ethel talk about the Depression and the war and the telephone company. I loved roasting that goat with the Murayas. You brought me those things, Lara. Why won’t you let me near you?”
“Here. Here, take this baby.” She held Tobias out, and now Jeremiah saw that her cheeks were streaked with tears. “Take him and give him some milk. I’m going home.”
“Don’t go, Lara. Please. Just talk to me.”
He tried to maneuver the wailing little boy as he followed Lara into the foyer. Fists clenched and head bobbing, Tobias cut loose with a screech that could wake the dead. Jeremiah struggled to control him and try to prevent Lara from putting on her coat. It was impossible. As the baby wailed, she tugged her hat over her curls.
“The milk is in the freezer,” she said, sniffling. “And don’t do this to me ever again, Jeremiah Maddox.”
With that, she pulled open the door and stepped outside. Jeremiah had no choice but to hurry toward the kitchen, baby in arms, praying he could remember how to work the defroster on the microwave.
Where were the bottles? How hot should the milk be? Did people sterilize things these days? He pulled open the freezer door and spotted the small white bags Lara had brought over from the guest cottage. Grabbing one, he tried to make soothing noises while he opened the microwave door.
“It’s okay, Tobias,” he murmured. “Don’t cry. I’ve got you, buddy. I’ll have this milk ready in just a second, and you’re gonna be feeling a lot better before you know it. If I could just…set you down for…”
“Give him to me.”
Jeremiah turned to find Lara standing in the kitchen with her arms out. “You brought me over here. I don’t have my car. And besides, the roads are covered
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