bit.’
She flopped back in the chair and felt curiously disorientated, like she had jet lag or had woken from a nightmare and couldn’t come to. She would momentarily forget why she felt so sad and then she would remember and it was like being given the news all over again. It hurt just as bad.
Milly ran her palm over her face. ‘I just can’t believe it, Pru. Any of it. One minute she’s flitting around looking for matches, planning her evening and the next this. Tell me it’s all just a bad dream. Please! I didn’t even say goodbye to her properly. I didn’t give her my full attention – I was doing some bloody crossword.’
‘I can’t remember what the last thing I said to her was.’ Pru broke down again. She turned to look at Milly. ‘Do you think they’re together now?’ she sobbed.
‘Bobby and Alfie?’
Pru nodded.
‘I’m sure of it, love.’ Milly sighed and mopped at her streaming face. ‘And we’ll get through this, just like we did before. We can get through anything, by sticking together, right?’ She stared at Pru, who met her gaze and nodded.
‘I just want to disappear.’
‘I know. Have you spoken to Christopher?’
‘Yes, very briefly. He’s going straight to Oxford to be with his sister. She’s in a terrible state, obviously. Her husband only died a couple of years ago and now this.’ Pru cried again then, covering her face with her hands and trying to sort the jumble of information that swirled inside her head. ‘I’m going to bed.’
‘Don’t worry about anything. Guy will have everything under control and I’ll pop down, in the morning.’
‘Thanks, Mills.’
‘If you want a bit of company in the night or need anything at all, then just buzz me and I’ll be straight in.’
‘She was so happy, wasn’t she? So happy.’ Pru closed her eyes as she stood, picturing Bobby on the podium in Spitalfields, clapping her hands with joy and looking like a bride. She felt her way along the hallway to her bedroom.
Clicking the door shut behind her, Pru collected a framed photo from the bedside table: Bobby and William at a party. Her niece beamed and held a glass of champagne up to the camera. The handsome Captain Fellsley was smiling too, but Pru noticed for the first time that it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
‘Oh, Bobby, I miss you already. Tonight I am going to make out you are asleep upstairs, tucked up safely.’
Pru held the picture to her chest and sank back against the pillows, trying to order her thoughts. She wished she could talk to Christopher, who had the knack of making everything feel better. She pictured him and Isabel and her heart went out to the woman who two years ago ceased to be a wife and had just discovered that she was no longer a mother.
Pru swallowed two of the sleeping tablets but woke after four hours of sleep with a physical pain in her chest. She sat up in the bed as though waking from a nightmare and her sobs came instantly.
‘Oh, Alfie, I thought I’d dreamed it, but I didn’t, did I? She’s gone. She’s really gone. I’m so sorry, I thought I could keep her safe for you. I tried, I really did. Is she with you now? Please, please tell me she’s with you now, safe and sound.’
6
Pru looked past the pelmet and Liberty print curtains that framed the window of the spare bedroom at Mountfield. She hadn’t wanted to stay here the night before the funeral, but had been convinced by everyone else that it would be easier in the morning. No battle with the London traffic. Milly was in the room next door.
The image of Bobby standing on the very patch of grass in front of her as a jazz band played, laughing, with her hand outstretched, showing off her diamond, popped into her head.
‘Oh Bobby, where are you? Where are you right now?’
She spoke to the sky through the dappled panes of the Queen Anne window, allowing her eyes to roam over the rolling acres and come to rest on the edge of the lake where she and Christopher had
She flopped back in the chair and felt curiously disorientated, like she had jet lag or had woken from a nightmare and couldn’t come to. She would momentarily forget why she felt so sad and then she would remember and it was like being given the news all over again. It hurt just as bad.
Milly ran her palm over her face. ‘I just can’t believe it, Pru. Any of it. One minute she’s flitting around looking for matches, planning her evening and the next this. Tell me it’s all just a bad dream. Please! I didn’t even say goodbye to her properly. I didn’t give her my full attention – I was doing some bloody crossword.’
‘I can’t remember what the last thing I said to her was.’ Pru broke down again. She turned to look at Milly. ‘Do you think they’re together now?’ she sobbed.
‘Bobby and Alfie?’
Pru nodded.
‘I’m sure of it, love.’ Milly sighed and mopped at her streaming face. ‘And we’ll get through this, just like we did before. We can get through anything, by sticking together, right?’ She stared at Pru, who met her gaze and nodded.
‘I just want to disappear.’
‘I know. Have you spoken to Christopher?’
‘Yes, very briefly. He’s going straight to Oxford to be with his sister. She’s in a terrible state, obviously. Her husband only died a couple of years ago and now this.’ Pru cried again then, covering her face with her hands and trying to sort the jumble of information that swirled inside her head. ‘I’m going to bed.’
‘Don’t worry about anything. Guy will have everything under control and I’ll pop down, in the morning.’
‘Thanks, Mills.’
‘If you want a bit of company in the night or need anything at all, then just buzz me and I’ll be straight in.’
‘She was so happy, wasn’t she? So happy.’ Pru closed her eyes as she stood, picturing Bobby on the podium in Spitalfields, clapping her hands with joy and looking like a bride. She felt her way along the hallway to her bedroom.
Clicking the door shut behind her, Pru collected a framed photo from the bedside table: Bobby and William at a party. Her niece beamed and held a glass of champagne up to the camera. The handsome Captain Fellsley was smiling too, but Pru noticed for the first time that it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
‘Oh, Bobby, I miss you already. Tonight I am going to make out you are asleep upstairs, tucked up safely.’
Pru held the picture to her chest and sank back against the pillows, trying to order her thoughts. She wished she could talk to Christopher, who had the knack of making everything feel better. She pictured him and Isabel and her heart went out to the woman who two years ago ceased to be a wife and had just discovered that she was no longer a mother.
Pru swallowed two of the sleeping tablets but woke after four hours of sleep with a physical pain in her chest. She sat up in the bed as though waking from a nightmare and her sobs came instantly.
‘Oh, Alfie, I thought I’d dreamed it, but I didn’t, did I? She’s gone. She’s really gone. I’m so sorry, I thought I could keep her safe for you. I tried, I really did. Is she with you now? Please, please tell me she’s with you now, safe and sound.’
6
Pru looked past the pelmet and Liberty print curtains that framed the window of the spare bedroom at Mountfield. She hadn’t wanted to stay here the night before the funeral, but had been convinced by everyone else that it would be easier in the morning. No battle with the London traffic. Milly was in the room next door.
The image of Bobby standing on the very patch of grass in front of her as a jazz band played, laughing, with her hand outstretched, showing off her diamond, popped into her head.
‘Oh Bobby, where are you? Where are you right now?’
She spoke to the sky through the dappled panes of the Queen Anne window, allowing her eyes to roam over the rolling acres and come to rest on the edge of the lake where she and Christopher had
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