A Lifetime to Find Love by Ava Riley

of all times do I not have a condom with me?  Damn it!
     
    He hovered over Tessa trying to figure out a way to tell her they were going to have to stop.  He was already teetering on the verge of insanity and she had just made it abundantly clear that she wanted him as much as he wanted her.  Looking down at her, her lips swollen from his kisses, her eyes glazed over with desire, he wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to stop.  For weeks he thought of this moment, thought of being with her this way, of sharing himself in the most intimate way with her and now because he was careless, he was going to have wait, yet again, to be with her.
     
    “Cade,” Tessa said hesitantly. 
     
    He wasn’t moving, just looking at her with a pained look on his face.  And it wasn’t a pained look of needing release, but one that said he had just made the biggest mistake of his life.  She knew she shouldn’t have allowed this tonight.  She should have stopped him at the door and ended the evening.  She felt like such an idiot for freely and completely giving herself to him when he obviously was having second thoughts about it.  She should have listened to reason when he showed up at the beach.  She’d already weighed the pros and cons of them being together and now he was going to crush her heart just as she envisioned would happen.  Why hadn’t she walked away from him when she had the chance, when she was the one in control? 
     
    Cade leaned his forehead against Tessa’s and let out a long slow breath.  “I am such an idiot, Tess.  I’m so sorry -”
     
    “Get off me Cade,” she said, pushing at his chest, tears welling in her eyes. 
     
    She heard with her ears him saying he was an idiot, but what he was really saying was, that she was the idiot to think that he would want her this way, that he would want her at all. She felt her chest tighten at the thought.  Every self preserving instinct that she had came to the forefront as she continued to push at his chest.  Her hurt and anger grew when she couldn’t budge him.
     
    Cade grabbed her wrists and pinned her arms above her head with one hand.  He didn’t understand her reaction to him until he saw tears threatening to spill from her eyes. With his free hand he gently turned her to face him.
     
    “Tess, what’s wrong?”
     
    “What’s wrong?  I don’t know, Cade. You tell me. Having second thoughts are you?”  She couldn’t seem to keep the hurt or the anger from her voice.
     
    “Second thoughts?  Hell no. I’m not having second thoughts. Is that what you think?”
     
    “Then why did you just call yourself an idiot and apologize?”
     
    “Well, if you would have let me finish, I would have already told you, silly girl.”  He released her wrists, placed a kiss on the tip of her nose.  “What I was trying to say is that I never replaced the condom that Rowan found, so here we are all hot and bothered with no place to go.   I’m so sorry. I just didn’t think to put it back.”
     
    Shit!  No condom?  So he really does want me.  But no condom means no Cade.  I cannot survive this night without him inside me.
     
    Relieved that he still wanted her, she leaned up and began placing kisses on his chest. “Okay, so we’ll just be careful.  Just don’t come inside me.”
     
    “No way. I am not taking the chance of getting you pregnant.”
     
    “Damn it, Cade!  For once in your life can you not live by the rules?  You are killing me here.”
     
    He needed a distraction from his good sense and she knew just the way.  Tessa gently bit one nipple, then the next. With her tongue, she gently flicked as she began sucking.  She knew she had him the moment he let out a muffled curse.
     
    Without a second thought, Cade wrapped his hands around the backside of her thighs and pulled her to him. He pushed her thighs open as wide as he could, his knees nudging her,  opening her up to him.  She was so beautiful, so perfect for