A Life Less Ordinary by Christopher Nuttall

Pygmalion had told us that he’d transformed thirty-seven girls in all and despite our best efforts one of them seemed to be missing for good.
    Around eight o’clock in the morning, I finally gave up on sleep and stumbled into the shower, cursing my ex-boyfriend under my breath. I could have done with someone holding me as I cried myself to sleep, someone who would have listened and held me as I screamed and never let go of me. I had even considered looking for Master Revels and inviting him to share my bed, before dismissing the idea as a thoroughly stupid and idiotic concept. He was my tutor and I was his apprentice. It wouldn’t be right for us to share a bed. Somehow, I found myself thinking of Cardonel. Perhaps he could take me out for a night on the town after all.
    The warm water from the shower helped to awaken me and I found myself feeling much better as I towelled off and found my dressing gown. I couldn’t be bothered dressing properly, not before breakfast, for eating something always made me feel better. I tied up my hair, pulled the dressing gown tightly around me and walked downstairs to the kitchen. A flutter of wings announced Fiona’s presence as she flew down and landed on my shoulder. I wrapped her up in a hug and held her for a long moment, feeling her heartbeat pounding against my cheek.
    “You had a long night,” the tiny dragon said, when I let her go. “You could probably sleep in for a few more hours if you want.”
    “I can’t sleep,” I admitted. I knew that there were spells and potions to ensure a proper night’s sleep, but Master Revels had warned me that it was easy to become dependent on them to the point where I literally couldn’t sleep without chemical help. I had no wish to spend the rest of my days as an addict. What I needed was a chance to relax and blow off some steam and I wasn’t going to get that from potions. “I had bad dreams.”
    “That’s never a good sign,” Fiona said, gravely. “I hope that they were not precognitive dreams.”
    I looked up at her scaly face, with the uneasy sense that I was being mocked. “I don’t know,” I said, finally. “What’s going to happen to Mr Pygmalion?”
    Fiona twitched. “That’s up to his judges,” she said, “but unless I miss my guess, he will be pushed through the Dimensional Gate into the Dark Continent, where he will spend the rest of his days trying to avoid the Shadow Wraiths that will tear him limb from limb, before eating his soul.”
    I blinked. “What on Earth is the Dark Continent?”
    “It isn’t on Earth,” Fiona said. “A few hundred years ago, some idiot of a sorcerer managed to open a Gate to a world that had become infested with a creature of living shadow. The shadows tried to get into our world, but luckily for us they cannot survive here for long, not without a human host. It was decided that anyone who broke the law and was too powerful or dangerous to contain in any other way would be pushed through the Gate and into the Dark Continent, from where they would be unable to return.”
    “Oh,” I said. It seemed a pretty dire punishment after all. “Who’s going to be judging him?”
    “Leave that for the moment,” Master Revels called. I’d had a ghastly night, but he looked as if he’d slept well. He wore his suit and top hat while drinking a large cup of tea. “Come in and have something to eat, then we’ll talk.”
    I knew better than to think that he would answer any of my questions before we’d both eaten, so I sat down and allowed his magic to fill my plate. At one time, I would have worried about putting on weight and refused to eat bacon, eggs, sausages and toast, but now I knew better. Besides, he made me sweat it all off during the day. I had never liked to drink tea at all – I had drunk coffee to wake me up in the mornings – but now I was quite used to it. It was, as always, an excellent breakfast. Master Revels had had years to learn his craft. My own