youd run off together. Talia looks like shes about to burst into tears. Was it wrong to say that? I am unfamiliar with telephones! Nah, youve just totally ruined any
possibility of getting back with Amber. But she looks so cute, like a little girl whos afraid of getting in trouble. No, of course not. Jaaaaaaaack! the telephone shrieks.
Then my fathers voice, loud but business-as-usual.
Jack, speak to me this instant. Sorry, Dad.
Sorry? Your mothers crying. Whys she doing that? Because she thinks youve run off with some girl you just met!
Funny thought. Oh, yeah. I guess I did. What? Im enjoying this. Its the first time theyve
paid atten-
tion to me since the time I flunked science and crashed my car in the same week. It might
be fun to mess with them more.
Yeah, I met her yesterday. Youll like her, Dad. Shes real pretty. Oh, and shes a princess.
We eloped. Thatll get their attention.
No answer from Dad. Maybe the call dropped. Maybe he passed out.
But no. Moms there now. What do you mean you eloped? I want you on a plane back home this
minute. This minute!
Okay. Wire me some money, and Ill buy a ticket. This is fun. But as soon as I give them
what they want, theyll start ignoring me again.
Dont you get smart with me, young man. I wasnt Ill wire you the money, and youll buy a
ticket on the next flight.
Isnt that what I just said? What would happen if I just kept messing with them?
All right. But Im bringing Talia with me. I hadnt planned on saying that, but it just pops
out. Itll really drive them nuts. When I get off the phone, Talia says, Thank you. For what? For saying I can go with you. I
shrug. At least I get to go home. Who wants to travel around and see all this junk? You do not like to travel. I shake my head, then smile,
thinking about it. Boy,
are my parents going to freak when they see you. Much as my parents, er, freaked when you
appeared. Will it be a long journey? How many weeks will it take? I have so many
questions. Will we need to acquire more clothes in order to conduct our journey in style?
What if the ship sinks? Or there is an outbreak of cholera? I might never see my family again. I start laughing. What is so funny? Weeks? Try a day. What sort
of ship can journey to the other side of the earth in a day? The kind that can fly.
Mom works like a fiend when shes freaking out. Within twenty-four hours, Talia and I are
at the airport.
Remember what I told you, I say to Talia as we wait in line for security.
My name is Talia Brooke. I am from Belgium. And if anyone questions my jewels, I am to say
they are part of the new Royal Euphrasian line of . . . what is it called again? Costume jewelry.
Costume jewelry, which I am going to South Beach, Florida, to model. But how would anyone
believe that such lovely jewels are false?
Because no one wears real jewelry that big anymore, not even the Queen of England. We had
to sell another one of Talias rings to buy her plane ticket, but that doesnt help much
with the weight. Can you remember that?
Yes. Costume jewelry.
A few minutes later, we reach the front of the line. I think Ill hold my breath until were
on the plane.
I show my passport. The woman barely looks at it. Just another boring American student.
When she gets to Talias, she examines it more carefully and begins talking to Talia in
rapid French. Does she know Talias passports a fake?
Talia responds in French, and a lot of it. What is she saying? Why didnt I take French?
What am I, kidding myself ? If Id taken French, Id have only learned the swear words, like
I did in Spanish.
The conversation goes on for approximately eight hours, but finally the employee lets
Talia go.
What was that about? I ask her when were safely past.
She noticed my passport was new. It only has the one stamp, from when we crossed into
France. So she asked if it is my first time traveling outside Europe.
To which you said . . . ? I said,
possibility of getting back with Amber. But she looks so cute, like a little girl whos afraid of getting in trouble. No, of course not. Jaaaaaaaack! the telephone shrieks.
Then my fathers voice, loud but business-as-usual.
Jack, speak to me this instant. Sorry, Dad.
Sorry? Your mothers crying. Whys she doing that? Because she thinks youve run off with some girl you just met!
Funny thought. Oh, yeah. I guess I did. What? Im enjoying this. Its the first time theyve
paid atten-
tion to me since the time I flunked science and crashed my car in the same week. It might
be fun to mess with them more.
Yeah, I met her yesterday. Youll like her, Dad. Shes real pretty. Oh, and shes a princess.
We eloped. Thatll get their attention.
No answer from Dad. Maybe the call dropped. Maybe he passed out.
But no. Moms there now. What do you mean you eloped? I want you on a plane back home this
minute. This minute!
Okay. Wire me some money, and Ill buy a ticket. This is fun. But as soon as I give them
what they want, theyll start ignoring me again.
Dont you get smart with me, young man. I wasnt Ill wire you the money, and youll buy a
ticket on the next flight.
Isnt that what I just said? What would happen if I just kept messing with them?
All right. But Im bringing Talia with me. I hadnt planned on saying that, but it just pops
out. Itll really drive them nuts. When I get off the phone, Talia says, Thank you. For what? For saying I can go with you. I
shrug. At least I get to go home. Who wants to travel around and see all this junk? You do not like to travel. I shake my head, then smile,
thinking about it. Boy,
are my parents going to freak when they see you. Much as my parents, er, freaked when you
appeared. Will it be a long journey? How many weeks will it take? I have so many
questions. Will we need to acquire more clothes in order to conduct our journey in style?
What if the ship sinks? Or there is an outbreak of cholera? I might never see my family again. I start laughing. What is so funny? Weeks? Try a day. What sort
of ship can journey to the other side of the earth in a day? The kind that can fly.
Mom works like a fiend when shes freaking out. Within twenty-four hours, Talia and I are
at the airport.
Remember what I told you, I say to Talia as we wait in line for security.
My name is Talia Brooke. I am from Belgium. And if anyone questions my jewels, I am to say
they are part of the new Royal Euphrasian line of . . . what is it called again? Costume jewelry.
Costume jewelry, which I am going to South Beach, Florida, to model. But how would anyone
believe that such lovely jewels are false?
Because no one wears real jewelry that big anymore, not even the Queen of England. We had
to sell another one of Talias rings to buy her plane ticket, but that doesnt help much
with the weight. Can you remember that?
Yes. Costume jewelry.
A few minutes later, we reach the front of the line. I think Ill hold my breath until were
on the plane.
I show my passport. The woman barely looks at it. Just another boring American student.
When she gets to Talias, she examines it more carefully and begins talking to Talia in
rapid French. Does she know Talias passports a fake?
Talia responds in French, and a lot of it. What is she saying? Why didnt I take French?
What am I, kidding myself ? If Id taken French, Id have only learned the swear words, like
I did in Spanish.
The conversation goes on for approximately eight hours, but finally the employee lets
Talia go.
What was that about? I ask her when were safely past.
She noticed my passport was new. It only has the one stamp, from when we crossed into
France. So she asked if it is my first time traveling outside Europe.
To which you said . . . ? I said,
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