A Heart for Freedom
heal him, and make him whole again. As we sat in silence, my eyes told him everything.
    Soon after that evening, Feng and I became a formal couple.
    For two young people in love, Beida in springtime was a garden of enchantment. The singing of the birds, the blooming of the flowers, and the sunsets filtered through the trees around No Name Lake were all tinged with new meaning as we walked or rode our bikes together across campus. Together we raised two white rabbits as pets, and they would stand on their hind legs in the front baskets of our bikes as Feng and I explored the parks and rode alongside the lakes. In the evenings, as we rode back to the dorms together, our hearts were filled with joyful laughter and limitless dreams.
     
* * *
    My fourth year at Beida would have had a picture-perfect ending if not for one unfortunate event. One Sunday afternoon, Feng and I stepped inside the university store to buy some snacks. I placed a twenty renminbi (RMB) bill on the counter and waited for the saleswoman to come and take our order. She was talking with someone and gave me a look that conveyed annoyance at my presence. This was not uncommon at Beida. The staff resented college students. We waited for a long time as the saleswoman continued her conversation and deliberately ignored us, even though she was only a few feet away.
    Finally Feng grew impatient. When he caught the woman’s eye, he indicated we would take the merchandise and leave our money on the counter. The saleswoman’s eyes grew wide, and she began to shout, “Thief, thief!”
    “What are you talking about?” I said, pointing to the twenty renminbi bill. “Our money is right here, and you still owe us change.”
    The saleswoman snatched up the bill and tore it to pieces. When Feng reached out to stop her, he accidentally grabbed her watch and ripped the timepiece off its band. As I picked up my books from the counter, the saleswoman tried to pull them out of my arms. In the ensuing chaos, she managed to rip off my watch as well. It was a violent explosion in the middle of a quiet Sunday afternoon. Finally officers from the Beida security department arrived, and they escorted all three of us to their office.
    The officer who handled the matter seemed to resolve it in a judicious manner. He listened to each of us in turn and then rendered his judgment. He said the saleswoman had no proof we had tried to steal anything. He advised her not to accuse customers so casually and not to rip up money belonging to other people, because it was private property. He then admonished Feng for grabbing the woman’s watch and breaking the strap, even in the heat of the moment. He insisted it would have to be repaired. Feng apologized to the saleswoman, who seemed reluctant to accept this resolution. The security officer decided to hang on to my watch until the saleswoman’s watch had been repaired.
    My watch was important to me. It was a gift from my father. I immediately went out and found someone who could repair the strap on the saleswoman’s watch that afternoon. When I returned to exchange it for mine, the original security officer had left for the day, and a tall, skinny, unsmiling man had replaced him. He took the saleswoman’s watch into another room to determine whether it had been repaired. When he returned, he refused to give my watch back. He told me I would have to return for it later, when the other officer was around. He spoke to me with such arrogance, as if the original resolution had been reached without his consent and he wasn’t going to comply with it.
    I immediately went and told Feng, and he went back with me to try to get my watch. This time the officer yelled at both of us as if we were criminals and again refused to return the watch. I later learned this man was a holdover from the Cultural Revolution, and this was his way of harassing people. The way he shouted at us stripped away all our pride and dignity. Feng refused to help me after

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