to try —’
‘You mean compete. I’m not going to compete.’
‘And there’s Cambridge and you’ll have to decide—’
‘I’ve decided. We see things differently, mama. We see time differently. You worry about time, you strain against it. I just give myself up to it and it carries me quietly along. As for Cambridge, it incarnates that whole rotten set of beastly old class values. One simply mustn’t touch it. It’s no compromise and no surrender.’
‘Homer and Virgil and—Sophocles and—what’s his name—Aeschylus don’t represent the whole rotten set of beastly old class values.’
‘No, they’re all right in themselves. But the whole set-up is corrupt. I can’t explain to you, mother darling. But I’ve got my own categorical imperatives. I’ve just got to reject the thing in toto. ’
‘Peter, do try to think. You’ve got to earn money. Or do you expect us to support you all your life?’
‘Of course not. Money isn’t important though. I can easily earn a little if I want to.’
‘When you’re older you’ll want more money and you won’t have the capacity to earn it!’
‘This thing about more money as one grows older is precisely one of the assumptions of this lousy society which I refuse to accept. People spend their whole lives chasing money and chasing more of it and wanting more and more unnecessary things. They feel they’ve failed unless they’re continually climbing up a sort of pyramid of material possessions. They sacrifice themselves to houses and refrigerators and washing machines and cars, and at the end they realize they haven’t really lived at all. Their houses and their washing machines have lived their lives for them. I don’t want to be like that. I want to live my own life, out in the open, outside the rat race, outside the capitalist dream. This room contains everything that a human being needs.’
‘No books,’ said Hilda. ‘What about your mind? You’re clever. Don’t you want to develop your talents?’
‘Don’t you worry about my mind, mother dear. A great deal is happening in my mind. Probably more than ever happened in your mind in the whole of your life.’
‘Peter, you’re taking drugs!’
‘No, no. Well, I took some pot once or twice, harmless stuff. No, I’m not on drugs, I don’t need them. I just wait quietly and the strangest and most wonderful things come. Just to wait, that’s the secret. All this struggling and straining with conscious thought separates us from the real world. Look at that brass knob on the end of my bed. To you it’s just a brass knob. To me it’s a golden microcosm.’
‘Yes,’ said Hilda, ‘to me it’s a brass knob and it’s going to stay a brass knob! These are just moods and feelings, Peter—’
‘Moods and feelings are very important, my old square angel of an aged parent. I want to be my moods, to live in the present. Feelings are life. Most people in this society just never live at all.’
‘I know your father thinks—’
‘Please, mama. We did agree.’
‘Oh all right. Has Tallis been putting these dotty ideas into your head I wonder?’
‘Tallis! Really, mama! Tallis is on your side!’
‘Well, I think that if you reject this society, and you’re quite right to do so in many ways, you ought to equip yourself to try to change it, and not lie on your bed having feelings, and that means—’
‘That means the struggle for power. No. Power is just what I don’t want, mother. That’s another false God. Gain power so that you can do good! That’s another way to waste your life. Just look at Tallis. When did dear Tallis ever live ?’
‘He’s a terribly anxious man, but—’
‘Tallis is always somewhere else, he never really exists in the present at all. Can’t you at least see how anxious I am?’
‘Ye-es. But I think one should try to help people—’
‘Yes, but not anyhow. And if one’s a real person oneself one can help more. I know you belong to the Socialist
‘You mean compete. I’m not going to compete.’
‘And there’s Cambridge and you’ll have to decide—’
‘I’ve decided. We see things differently, mama. We see time differently. You worry about time, you strain against it. I just give myself up to it and it carries me quietly along. As for Cambridge, it incarnates that whole rotten set of beastly old class values. One simply mustn’t touch it. It’s no compromise and no surrender.’
‘Homer and Virgil and—Sophocles and—what’s his name—Aeschylus don’t represent the whole rotten set of beastly old class values.’
‘No, they’re all right in themselves. But the whole set-up is corrupt. I can’t explain to you, mother darling. But I’ve got my own categorical imperatives. I’ve just got to reject the thing in toto. ’
‘Peter, do try to think. You’ve got to earn money. Or do you expect us to support you all your life?’
‘Of course not. Money isn’t important though. I can easily earn a little if I want to.’
‘When you’re older you’ll want more money and you won’t have the capacity to earn it!’
‘This thing about more money as one grows older is precisely one of the assumptions of this lousy society which I refuse to accept. People spend their whole lives chasing money and chasing more of it and wanting more and more unnecessary things. They feel they’ve failed unless they’re continually climbing up a sort of pyramid of material possessions. They sacrifice themselves to houses and refrigerators and washing machines and cars, and at the end they realize they haven’t really lived at all. Their houses and their washing machines have lived their lives for them. I don’t want to be like that. I want to live my own life, out in the open, outside the rat race, outside the capitalist dream. This room contains everything that a human being needs.’
‘No books,’ said Hilda. ‘What about your mind? You’re clever. Don’t you want to develop your talents?’
‘Don’t you worry about my mind, mother dear. A great deal is happening in my mind. Probably more than ever happened in your mind in the whole of your life.’
‘Peter, you’re taking drugs!’
‘No, no. Well, I took some pot once or twice, harmless stuff. No, I’m not on drugs, I don’t need them. I just wait quietly and the strangest and most wonderful things come. Just to wait, that’s the secret. All this struggling and straining with conscious thought separates us from the real world. Look at that brass knob on the end of my bed. To you it’s just a brass knob. To me it’s a golden microcosm.’
‘Yes,’ said Hilda, ‘to me it’s a brass knob and it’s going to stay a brass knob! These are just moods and feelings, Peter—’
‘Moods and feelings are very important, my old square angel of an aged parent. I want to be my moods, to live in the present. Feelings are life. Most people in this society just never live at all.’
‘I know your father thinks—’
‘Please, mama. We did agree.’
‘Oh all right. Has Tallis been putting these dotty ideas into your head I wonder?’
‘Tallis! Really, mama! Tallis is on your side!’
‘Well, I think that if you reject this society, and you’re quite right to do so in many ways, you ought to equip yourself to try to change it, and not lie on your bed having feelings, and that means—’
‘That means the struggle for power. No. Power is just what I don’t want, mother. That’s another false God. Gain power so that you can do good! That’s another way to waste your life. Just look at Tallis. When did dear Tallis ever live ?’
‘He’s a terribly anxious man, but—’
‘Tallis is always somewhere else, he never really exists in the present at all. Can’t you at least see how anxious I am?’
‘Ye-es. But I think one should try to help people—’
‘Yes, but not anyhow. And if one’s a real person oneself one can help more. I know you belong to the Socialist
Similar Books
