work. But if you’re not willing to forgive and love this new girl sitting here in front of you, then this will all be in vain. You haven’t been able to tell me that you loved me since Charlie -.” I couldn’t finish that sentence because just hearing it would be a reminder that Charlie was really gone, something that I didn’t want to come to terms with just yet. “I never made you second guess my feelings for you through any of this. You always knew that I loved you.”
He looked away and didn’t respond. His silence was like a knife to my heart.
“I guess I’m sounding pretty pathetic, huh? Begging my husband to love me again?” I wiped the tears from my eyes.
He shook his head. “No, you’re not pathetic. I am.”
“Well, Jamie, I guess -.” I looked away, trying to fight the pain in my heart over the words that were about to come out of my mouth. “I guess maybe you should go to San Diego and figure this out. Maybe we really can’t be fixed after all. If that’s the case, draw up the papers. I’m not going to fight it. You can have everything because everything that I want is already gone.” He closed his eyes and looked away.
I gathered what little pride I had left and stood. “I’m sorry that I let you down, but I’m even sorrier that I let Charlie down.” He looked at me with tear-filled eyes. I knew that he was hurting just as badly as me, but there was nothing I could do to comfort him. I was feeling too much pain myself. “Have a safe trip,” I whispered, before mustering up the strength to walk away.
The short walk back to the bakery wasn’t enough time for me to pull it together, and I didn’t feel like explaining to my mother why I was a complete mess. I sat down on the bench a couple shops down from the bakery, trying to calm my nerves. I ignored the stares of some of the people passing by, looking at me sympathetically, and was grateful to those that were just too busy to care.
“Hope, are you okay?” I jumped when Nick took a seat next to me.
“Nick, what are you still doing here?” I asked, wiping a tear from my face, trying my best to look normal.
“I had to come back. I forgot my dad’s brownie order.”
I nodded, unable to stop my tears. Nick took my hand in his, while I rested my head on his shoulder. “He can’t even tell me that he loves me. He came all the way here just to tell me that he was leaving for San Diego and that it was safe to go home.”
“Hope, I don’t have any kids so I can’t even imagine how either of you must feel. But he came here to see you so that tells me that he still feels something.”
I lifted my head and wiped my eyes. “I don’t know what to think anymore. I just wish I didn’t care so much. Oh god, I’m a complete mess!” I said, looking down at the mascara that was all over my hands from wiping my eyes.
“Well, you do look a little like a raccoon,” Nick joked.
I couldn’t help but smile. “I guess I’m not going to get out of explaining this one to my mom,” I said.
Nick stood up and grabbed my hand, pulling me off the bench. “Come on. I’ll distract her while you go into the bathroom and take care of that mess on your face.”
“You’re such a good buddy, Abate, you know that?”
“So I’ve been told.”
Another week had passed. I had gotten two more photography jobs thanks, in part, to my mother and Jenny, who was in absolute awe of her wedding pictures. I was really enjoying getting out and meeting new people because it helped to keep my mind occupied. I also liked that I was making my own money and wasn’t solely dependent on Jamie. I hadn’t heard from him since he left and even though my mind wasn’t as preoccupied with thoughts of him, my heart was. I hadn’t talked to Nick in three days, which was a rarity. I had been so busy with helping out in the bakery and preparing for my photography events that I didn’t really have time to think about it. But sitting home
He looked away and didn’t respond. His silence was like a knife to my heart.
“I guess I’m sounding pretty pathetic, huh? Begging my husband to love me again?” I wiped the tears from my eyes.
He shook his head. “No, you’re not pathetic. I am.”
“Well, Jamie, I guess -.” I looked away, trying to fight the pain in my heart over the words that were about to come out of my mouth. “I guess maybe you should go to San Diego and figure this out. Maybe we really can’t be fixed after all. If that’s the case, draw up the papers. I’m not going to fight it. You can have everything because everything that I want is already gone.” He closed his eyes and looked away.
I gathered what little pride I had left and stood. “I’m sorry that I let you down, but I’m even sorrier that I let Charlie down.” He looked at me with tear-filled eyes. I knew that he was hurting just as badly as me, but there was nothing I could do to comfort him. I was feeling too much pain myself. “Have a safe trip,” I whispered, before mustering up the strength to walk away.
The short walk back to the bakery wasn’t enough time for me to pull it together, and I didn’t feel like explaining to my mother why I was a complete mess. I sat down on the bench a couple shops down from the bakery, trying to calm my nerves. I ignored the stares of some of the people passing by, looking at me sympathetically, and was grateful to those that were just too busy to care.
“Hope, are you okay?” I jumped when Nick took a seat next to me.
“Nick, what are you still doing here?” I asked, wiping a tear from my face, trying my best to look normal.
“I had to come back. I forgot my dad’s brownie order.”
I nodded, unable to stop my tears. Nick took my hand in his, while I rested my head on his shoulder. “He can’t even tell me that he loves me. He came all the way here just to tell me that he was leaving for San Diego and that it was safe to go home.”
“Hope, I don’t have any kids so I can’t even imagine how either of you must feel. But he came here to see you so that tells me that he still feels something.”
I lifted my head and wiped my eyes. “I don’t know what to think anymore. I just wish I didn’t care so much. Oh god, I’m a complete mess!” I said, looking down at the mascara that was all over my hands from wiping my eyes.
“Well, you do look a little like a raccoon,” Nick joked.
I couldn’t help but smile. “I guess I’m not going to get out of explaining this one to my mom,” I said.
Nick stood up and grabbed my hand, pulling me off the bench. “Come on. I’ll distract her while you go into the bathroom and take care of that mess on your face.”
“You’re such a good buddy, Abate, you know that?”
“So I’ve been told.”
Another week had passed. I had gotten two more photography jobs thanks, in part, to my mother and Jenny, who was in absolute awe of her wedding pictures. I was really enjoying getting out and meeting new people because it helped to keep my mind occupied. I also liked that I was making my own money and wasn’t solely dependent on Jamie. I hadn’t heard from him since he left and even though my mind wasn’t as preoccupied with thoughts of him, my heart was. I hadn’t talked to Nick in three days, which was a rarity. I had been so busy with helping out in the bakery and preparing for my photography events that I didn’t really have time to think about it. But sitting home
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