A Cowboy For Christmas (A Copper Mountain Christmas) by Katherine Garbera

wanted this to be real. And she wanted to be woman enough to keep her cowboy.
    And stopped herself. This was real. There wasn’t anything fake about the evening. Carson wasn’t pretending to be a great guy—he was one and she just had to trust it—trust herself.
    He turned to her singing, “Each other now embrace... I was afraid I’d scared you off. I’m sorry if I rushed things tonight.”
    She stepped into the kitchen. “You didn’t rush anything. But that doesn’t mean I’m not a little bit scared by what happened.”
    “ I’m sorry for that. This has been, well, one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time.”
    He turned back to the stove and removed the saucepan from the flames. She went to her pantry cabinet and took the pack of marshmallows she’d splurged on earlier in the week.
    When she walked back over, he ’d poured the hot liquid into two mugs. She dropped the marshmallows into the cup and then tossed one on the floor for Rumple.
    “ I’m sorry I’m such a mess,” she said, looking up into those blue eyes of his.
    “ I’m sorry you are too, but it changes nothing. I still want you. I still want to know you better. And unless you tell me otherwise, I’d like a chance to see if we can make something that will last.”
    His words were a balm for her lonely soul. She’d been on her own since the day she’d left Marietta fifteen long years ago. But at the same time, they scared her. When she was on her own at least the only one affected by her mistakes was her.
    Could she take a chance? Could she risk hurting Carson or even his sweet little boy? Because he was asking her to be a part of his life and she knew she still wasn’t sure if she wanted to stay in Montana and live this honest, country life.
    “ Can we take it slow?” she asked at last.
    “ Considering we kissed for the last time fifteen years ago and just got around to making love, I think it’s safe to say we aren’t moving too fast,” he said.
     

 
     
    CHAPTER EIGHT
     
     
    The snow fell heavier and, even though she wished the storm would lighten up so she could push him to leave her place, she knew he was going to have to stay and she was happier than she wanted to admit. She wished sometimes that she was simpler. That she didn’t get in her own way and make life so hard. But the truth was that she’d always wanted things to fit a certain mold.
    And inevitably life never did. Being with Carson was at once the answer to some secret dream she’d long held inside of herself, and also the scariest thing she’d ever encountered.
    She hadn ’t been kidding herself when she’d acknowledged that it would be way too easy to just change into what he needed. Especially right now when life seemed so damned screwed up. She could just abandon her old self and become a new Annie in the image of whatever Carson needed.
    Perhaps be a mother to his young son and some kind of modern nineteen-fifties housewife. It appealed to her because she could just give up on fighting for her dreams while they lay in tatters all around her.
    But then she looked over at Carson, where he sat next to her on the couch staring out at the snow and she knew he deserved better. And frankly, so did she.
    That left her with nothing but the tough questions and the hard decisions. She could continue on like this, he wouldn’t push her for a commitment and she’d have some time with him and his precious son until Christmas.
    Or she could be honest with him and with herself and let him know that she couldn ’t be his fairytale. That she wasn’t his princess and he couldn’t be her white knight because she didn’t know what she was hiding from or even if she needed to be rescued. It seemed that she was both the heroine trapped in the castle and the evil queen who put her there. And there was no easy way out.
    Carson seemed like the solution but she knew in her heart he couldn ’t be. Because if she let him rescue her and she broke his heart, well, she