not so sure about that,” he said quietly. “I think maybe I missed out on the one thing that makes life worth living.”
“Which is?” she asked, her voice oddly choked.
“Love.”
Something in the way he was looking at her turned Jessie’s blood hot. Her pulse thumped unsteadily. There was no mistaking the desire in his hooded eyes, the longing threading through his voice.
Nor was there any way to deny the stubborn set of his jaw that said he would never act on whatever feelings he might have for her. Fueled by guilt or conscience, he had declared her off limits.
Which was as it should be, Jessie told herself staunchly. Yet she couldn’t explain the warring of regret and relief that his silent decision stirred in her. Stranded here with him, she didn’t dare explore any of her feelings too closely, but she had been reminded sharply of all of them. Most especially she had remembered how a simple glance could warm her, how easily the soft caress of Luke’s voice could send a tremor of pure bliss rippling through her.
At White Pines, with Erik alive, those responses had been forbidden. She had felt the deep sting of betrayal every time she hadn’t been able to control her reaction to her husband’s brother. Now it seemed the denials had gone for naught. Luke had reawakened her senses without even trying. He, thank goodness, appeared far more capable of pretending, though, that he hadn’t. The charade of casual distance between them would be maintained to protect them both from making a terrible mistake.
“I think I’ll put Angela down for a while,” she said, practically dashing from the room that vibrated with unspoken longings.
Only after she had the baby safely tucked into her makeshift bed again, only after she was curled up in a blanket herself did she give free rein to the wild fantasies that Luke set off in her. Dangerous, forbidden fantasies. Fantasies that hadn’t died, after all, not even after her attempt to put time and distance between herself and this complex man who’d found a spot in her heart with his unspoken compassion and strength of character.
“Oh, Lucas,” she whispered miserably. “How could I have done it? How could I have gone and fallen in love with you?”
There was no point in denying that love was what she was feeling. She had fought it practically from the moment she’d first set eyes on him. She had run from it, leaving him and White Pines behind. But three nights ago, when Luke had been there for her, when he had safely delivered her baby and treated her with such tenderness and compassion, the powerful feelings had come back with a vengeance.
That didn’t mean she couldn’t go on denying them with every breath left in her. She owed that to Erik.
More than that, she knew as well as Luke obviously did, the kind of terrible price they would pay, the loss of respect from the rest of the family if he ever admitted what she was beginning to suspect…that he was in love with her as well.
* * *
Luke was slowly but surely going out of his mind. There wasn’t a doubt about it. Another few days of the kind of torment that Jessie’s presence was putting him through and he’d be round the bend. His body was so hard, so often, that he wondered why he hadn’t exploded.
All it took was a whispered remark, an innocent glance, a casual caress and he reacted as if he were being seduced, which was clearly the farthest thing from Jessie’s mind. There were times it seemed she could barely stand to be in the same room with him. She’d bolted so often, even a blind man would have gotten the message.
He couldn’t understand why she, of all the women in the world, had this mesmerizing effect on him. Maybe guilt had made all of his senses sharper, he consoled himself. Maybe he wouldn’t be up to speed and ready to rock and roll, if there weren’t such an element of danger involved. He was practically hoarse from telling himself that Jessie was not available to him ever,
“Which is?” she asked, her voice oddly choked.
“Love.”
Something in the way he was looking at her turned Jessie’s blood hot. Her pulse thumped unsteadily. There was no mistaking the desire in his hooded eyes, the longing threading through his voice.
Nor was there any way to deny the stubborn set of his jaw that said he would never act on whatever feelings he might have for her. Fueled by guilt or conscience, he had declared her off limits.
Which was as it should be, Jessie told herself staunchly. Yet she couldn’t explain the warring of regret and relief that his silent decision stirred in her. Stranded here with him, she didn’t dare explore any of her feelings too closely, but she had been reminded sharply of all of them. Most especially she had remembered how a simple glance could warm her, how easily the soft caress of Luke’s voice could send a tremor of pure bliss rippling through her.
At White Pines, with Erik alive, those responses had been forbidden. She had felt the deep sting of betrayal every time she hadn’t been able to control her reaction to her husband’s brother. Now it seemed the denials had gone for naught. Luke had reawakened her senses without even trying. He, thank goodness, appeared far more capable of pretending, though, that he hadn’t. The charade of casual distance between them would be maintained to protect them both from making a terrible mistake.
“I think I’ll put Angela down for a while,” she said, practically dashing from the room that vibrated with unspoken longings.
Only after she had the baby safely tucked into her makeshift bed again, only after she was curled up in a blanket herself did she give free rein to the wild fantasies that Luke set off in her. Dangerous, forbidden fantasies. Fantasies that hadn’t died, after all, not even after her attempt to put time and distance between herself and this complex man who’d found a spot in her heart with his unspoken compassion and strength of character.
“Oh, Lucas,” she whispered miserably. “How could I have done it? How could I have gone and fallen in love with you?”
There was no point in denying that love was what she was feeling. She had fought it practically from the moment she’d first set eyes on him. She had run from it, leaving him and White Pines behind. But three nights ago, when Luke had been there for her, when he had safely delivered her baby and treated her with such tenderness and compassion, the powerful feelings had come back with a vengeance.
That didn’t mean she couldn’t go on denying them with every breath left in her. She owed that to Erik.
More than that, she knew as well as Luke obviously did, the kind of terrible price they would pay, the loss of respect from the rest of the family if he ever admitted what she was beginning to suspect…that he was in love with her as well.
* * *
Luke was slowly but surely going out of his mind. There wasn’t a doubt about it. Another few days of the kind of torment that Jessie’s presence was putting him through and he’d be round the bend. His body was so hard, so often, that he wondered why he hadn’t exploded.
All it took was a whispered remark, an innocent glance, a casual caress and he reacted as if he were being seduced, which was clearly the farthest thing from Jessie’s mind. There were times it seemed she could barely stand to be in the same room with him. She’d bolted so often, even a blind man would have gotten the message.
He couldn’t understand why she, of all the women in the world, had this mesmerizing effect on him. Maybe guilt had made all of his senses sharper, he consoled himself. Maybe he wouldn’t be up to speed and ready to rock and roll, if there weren’t such an element of danger involved. He was practically hoarse from telling himself that Jessie was not available to him ever,
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