shared.
She should have realised too that they would be together. If Cindy was departing for the States soon, then it was obvious that she and Jake would snatch every opportunity to be with each other. She wondered if Cindy knew the truth, about the supposed 'engagement, and remembering the expression in her eyes when they'd met the previous day, and the tabloid interview which Gerard had mentioned, thought it was probable that she did.
Perhaps they had even laughed about it together, secure in a relationship which did not need the convention of marriage, allowing them to enjoy each other without commitment. For a girl with a bright new career awaiting her, and a man who admitted openly that he was not interested in marriage, it was an ideal arrangement.
But not for me, Lisle thought wretchedly. I couldn't accept that kind of relationship.
But if that was all there was, whispered an inward voice slyly, you'd take it, then, and be thankful. Half a loaf has always been better than no bread at all.
Yet how would she have felt, she asked herself miserably, if she had given herself to him the other night, only to watch him go back to his mistress the following day? That would have been a hideous situation, leaving her pride, her self-respect in ruins.
To be taken, and then see him walk away, would be unbearable. But what would it be like, during this ghastly sham of an engagement, to be with him, yet always on guard against the betrayal of her deepest feelings? They couldn't always be metres apart. They were supposed to be promised in marriage, and people would, expect them to seek each other out, to touch, even to kiss.
She stood still in the middle of the field, looked up at the lowering sky already greying into evening and said savagely, 'Oh hell!'
She trudged to the nearest gate and let herself out oh to the lane. It was time she was getting back. Gerard would be wondering where she was, and if they were late at the hospital, Murray would be worried.
When she heard the car's engine behind her, she simply stepped on to the verge and walked on without even lifting her head, until she realised suddenly that its lines were familiar, and that it was slowing and stopping.
There was nowhere to run to, nowhere she could hide. In the pockets of her jerkin, her fists clenched convulsively, then relaxed.
Jake got out and stood beside the car, stripping off his driving gloves, waiting for her to come up to him.
Lisle felt as if her high russet boots were weighted with lead. She stood, and looked at him gravely, her chin high, the green eyes questioning.
'Walking home?' Jake asked. 'I'll give you a lift.'
'I'd rather walk,' she said quietly.
His face hardened instantly. 'And I'd rather you drove—with me. Get in.' He opened the passenger door.
Wearily she sank on to the seat and waited tensely for him to join her.
He said, 'Didn't you notice it had started to rain?'
'Rain doesn't bother me that much.' It was true, but in the warmth of the car, her jerkin suddenly felt damp and clammy, and she shivered slightly. Jake sighed and reached into the back of the car, dragging forward a black leather coat which had been lying across the seat.
'Here,' he said brusquely, 'put this round you.'
'I'm quite all right…' she began.
'Take it—or are you afraid of contamination?' She heard the sneer in his voice, and her lips tightened. She draped the coat round her shoulders, and sat looking rigidly ahead.
He commented, 'You seem surprised to see me.'
'I am. I thought I asked you to go.'
'You didn't ask anything, beauty, you told me, and that's an entirely different matter.' He started the car and it moved forward. 'I came principally to see what you wanted.'
'What I wanted?' she stared at him.
'Why, yes. Brenda Pearce told me you'd rung the office today, and I presume the anonymous call to the flat later was also made by you. You should have held on,' he added sardonically, 'I was only in the shower.'
Lisle bit her lip,
She should have realised too that they would be together. If Cindy was departing for the States soon, then it was obvious that she and Jake would snatch every opportunity to be with each other. She wondered if Cindy knew the truth, about the supposed 'engagement, and remembering the expression in her eyes when they'd met the previous day, and the tabloid interview which Gerard had mentioned, thought it was probable that she did.
Perhaps they had even laughed about it together, secure in a relationship which did not need the convention of marriage, allowing them to enjoy each other without commitment. For a girl with a bright new career awaiting her, and a man who admitted openly that he was not interested in marriage, it was an ideal arrangement.
But not for me, Lisle thought wretchedly. I couldn't accept that kind of relationship.
But if that was all there was, whispered an inward voice slyly, you'd take it, then, and be thankful. Half a loaf has always been better than no bread at all.
Yet how would she have felt, she asked herself miserably, if she had given herself to him the other night, only to watch him go back to his mistress the following day? That would have been a hideous situation, leaving her pride, her self-respect in ruins.
To be taken, and then see him walk away, would be unbearable. But what would it be like, during this ghastly sham of an engagement, to be with him, yet always on guard against the betrayal of her deepest feelings? They couldn't always be metres apart. They were supposed to be promised in marriage, and people would, expect them to seek each other out, to touch, even to kiss.
She stood still in the middle of the field, looked up at the lowering sky already greying into evening and said savagely, 'Oh hell!'
She trudged to the nearest gate and let herself out oh to the lane. It was time she was getting back. Gerard would be wondering where she was, and if they were late at the hospital, Murray would be worried.
When she heard the car's engine behind her, she simply stepped on to the verge and walked on without even lifting her head, until she realised suddenly that its lines were familiar, and that it was slowing and stopping.
There was nowhere to run to, nowhere she could hide. In the pockets of her jerkin, her fists clenched convulsively, then relaxed.
Jake got out and stood beside the car, stripping off his driving gloves, waiting for her to come up to him.
Lisle felt as if her high russet boots were weighted with lead. She stood, and looked at him gravely, her chin high, the green eyes questioning.
'Walking home?' Jake asked. 'I'll give you a lift.'
'I'd rather walk,' she said quietly.
His face hardened instantly. 'And I'd rather you drove—with me. Get in.' He opened the passenger door.
Wearily she sank on to the seat and waited tensely for him to join her.
He said, 'Didn't you notice it had started to rain?'
'Rain doesn't bother me that much.' It was true, but in the warmth of the car, her jerkin suddenly felt damp and clammy, and she shivered slightly. Jake sighed and reached into the back of the car, dragging forward a black leather coat which had been lying across the seat.
'Here,' he said brusquely, 'put this round you.'
'I'm quite all right…' she began.
'Take it—or are you afraid of contamination?' She heard the sneer in his voice, and her lips tightened. She draped the coat round her shoulders, and sat looking rigidly ahead.
He commented, 'You seem surprised to see me.'
'I am. I thought I asked you to go.'
'You didn't ask anything, beauty, you told me, and that's an entirely different matter.' He started the car and it moved forward. 'I came principally to see what you wanted.'
'What I wanted?' she stared at him.
'Why, yes. Brenda Pearce told me you'd rung the office today, and I presume the anonymous call to the flat later was also made by you. You should have held on,' he added sardonically, 'I was only in the shower.'
Lisle bit her lip,
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