wasn’t part of his everyday lexicon.
They were standing on the dock after leaving the ferry. Janey had fallen asleep and was slung over Mala’s shoulder, her bear still clutched tightly in her grip. Trey was talking to a group of goth girls, all of whom were giggling in a very non-goth way.
Mala caught Darc’s eye and made her way over to him. Her lips were turned down, and there were lines etched on her forehead. There were several emotional options here to explain that expression, but as Darc felt the surging of his emotional topography, he came up with sadness.
She was sad. And that emotion seemed to be connected with him.
“Something is wrong,” he said as she settled in directly in front of him. She seemed to peer closer at him with that statement, her face registering something. Surprise? That appeared to be it.
“Yes, Darc. Something is wrong.” She sighed, and shifted Janey’s weight on her shoulder. She indicated with her chin toward the little girl. “Everything I do right now is for Janey. And you know some of what’s happening with the DSHS.”
“Yes, although I don’t see--”
“Darc, please. This is hard enough without you interrupting.” Mala took a deep breath and let it out. “I don’t think that right now is the best time for us to pursue any sort of relationship.”
The ribbons of logic swirled around this statement, tasting it, testing it, feeling out its contours with their bright and cold intelligence. They confirmed the veracity of her thesis. She was right.
And yet, the emotional terrain trembled, a psychological tremor that left Darc’s chest aching. It somehow burned and felt empty and cold at the same time. How was that possible? There was nothing about his reaction that made sense.
“I understand,” Darc finally said, and moved off in the rain that had just started falling. It was a cold rain, preparatory to the winter that was coming soon. The chill began to sink into his clothes with the moisture. Darc had hoped the cold would soothe the burning in his chest.
But all it did was feed the empty chill that was growing inside.
* * *
Trey had driven Darc’s car through the rain, taking Mala and Janey home. There had been more than enough time for him to sober up, and he always kept a copy of Darc’s keys on him. He’d learned to do that a long time ago. Darc had many good qualities, but standard behavior like taking his own car home and making sure everyone he took with him had a ride back was not high on his list of priorities.
Now Trey was back at his apartment with Mala and a sleeping Janey, along with Maggie, his partner in crime. He’d convinced Mala to come up for a cup of Maggie’s hot chocolate. She’d said no at first, but his apartment was on the way to Mala’s, and he told her it was probably good to clear the air now, before it got to be impossible. To say that it was awkward was an understatement.
It didn’t help that Mala hadn’t said a word since she stepped into the car. That could have been due to the sleeping girl at her arms, but it felt much stronger than that.
“Sooooo… how’s it going?” he ventured as she laid Janey down on the sofa.
Mala met his gaze as she sank down beside the little girl who was still clutching her bear. “I’ve had better nights,” she finally replied.
“Yeah… About that… Listen—”
“Trey,” Mala cut him off. “This isn’t about what you did. I mean, don’t misunderstand, I don’t want you to do it again. But I almost understand why you would help him that way.”
“It’s just that he cares—”
Mala held up a hand. “Don’t. Please. This is hard enough.”
Now Trey was confused. “I don’t get it. What’s hard enough?”
“I broke it off.” She gave a humorless chuckle. “If there was anything to break off, that is.”
“Hold on. You broke up with Darc?” Sudden comprehension flooded through him. “Oh. That’s why he took off walking.”
“It was a mistake. I never
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