44: Book Three by Jools Sinclair Page A

from the field in the hot summer sun. He smiled briefly but I looked away.
    “Oh, right, that’ll happen,” I said. “I always forgive sleazebags who are trying to kill me.”
    I watched the highlights, hoping he would just leave.
    “I just came down to say I was sorry it had to be like that. I didn’t like it, tricking you. And to tell you that I still consider you a friend.”
    He got up and lingered, watching the TV.
    “With friends like you, who needs friends?” I said.
    “Okay. I’m not expecting anything from you. You don’t have to. But I wanted to say hi. See you around.”
    He finally walked away.
    I wished I hadn’t eaten so many chips. I drank a little soda to try and settle my stomach, but it didn’t help.
     

 
    CHAPTER 25
     
    As I stumbled up the stairs and down the hall to the living room, I stopped. I stepped back, out of view.
    It was Nathaniel, walking through the large living room, carrying the vase of withering roses that had been on my nightstand. He hadn’t seen me and disappeared down the hallway that led to the kitchen.
    I stayed in the corridor and waited until it was quiet. Then I ran upstairs and closed the door.
    Sure enough, fresh roses were on the dresser. Even the bed had been made.
    I shuddered.
     

 
    CHAPTER 26
     
    “You asked me why I do it,” Nathaniel said, tapping his long fingers together. “Why I’m so committed to my research.”
    I leaned back in the familiar chair, drinking a Coke. I wasn’t so nervous, not like the first night. The conversations had become routine now.
    “I know you don’t yet see the value of my work,” he said. “But I’m confident you will someday. So it’s an important question. A good question.”
    “I’ll never see that it’s okay to kill innocent people, Nathaniel. Never.”
    He picked up his drink and ran a finger around the rim of the glass. His energy was calm, unaffected.
    “I want to share something of my past with you this evening, Abby. I think it will explain who I am and why I am on this path.”
    I nodded. I would rather he talk about himself than probe me with more of his questions anyway. The more he talked, the better it was.
    “Fine,” I said.
    “I was young when I fell in love. Just a bit older than you are now. And I fell hard from the very moment I first saw her. She was a beautiful girl. Elegant. Charming. Full of grace. I couldn’t stop thinking about her, couldn’t eat or sleep. I was completely under her spell. When I was in her presence, I no longer was myself. And for the first time in my life, I felt alive.
    “I was fortunate that she felt the same way about me. It was love in its highest form. Real. True. Passionate.
    “My father said that I was too young for such a relationship, but I didn’t care. All the threats he made, many of which he kept, couldn’t stop us. We were in love, Abby. And if you have ever been in love like that, you know what I’m talking about. How singular the mind becomes. How nothing else matters.”
    I couldn’t help but think of Jesse. I did know what he was talking about.
    “Even Benjamin questioned my judgment when I told him of our plans to marry. He didn’t see the need to hurry. But we weren’t going to wait. When you find something like that, you always fear that it will be taken away from you. Even though I was young, I knew that much. You can’t wait.”
    A large lump grew in my throat when he said that. That’s what had happened to me. In a flash, in one terrible moment, Jesse had been ripped away from me.
    “She was the one person in the entire world who saw me as I was, both the light and the dark. And she loved me anyway. We had a love affair that rivaled many of the great operas. It was as if Puccini had composed the music himself. It was a bond like no other. Rare and beautiful. I would have done anything for her. Lay down my soul for her to walk upon. I was lost in her.”
    I took a sip of my drink, finding it hard to swallow, and put it down