the questions?” she said. “This is an emergency. Get your ass down
here!”
I locked
up and got into my forlorn little green Geo Metro. I’d promised myself over and
over that as soon as I could swing it I’d buy a new ride. A flicker of
recollection of yesterday’s meeting shot through me and I realized I might be able
to go car shopping in the very near future. That put a smile on my face even
though I was on my way to handle my least favorite part of my job: run
interference between a cranky bride and her reluctant groom.
I
pulled up near the Grand King Kamehameha Resort and Spa and parked on the
street. No way would I subject myself to the stares and eye rolls of valet
parking. And besides, I had a hunch after my meeting with Eleanor the last
thing I’d want is to be hanging around waiting for a valet to bring my car
around.
“ Aloha and welcome to the Grand King Kamehameha,” said the doorman as he pulled the
heavy glass and brass door open for me. “May I direct you to your destination?”
I
wanted to tell him my destination was a rude dressing down by an overwrought
senior citizen and ask him where he’d suggest that take place, but instead I
smiled and said I knew the way.
I
called Eleanor’s room from the house phone.
“It
took you long enough,” she said. “Come on up.”
I took
the elevator to the fourth floor. As I walked down to her room, I realized her
room number was at the very end of the hall. A suite. A really big, really
spendy suite.
She pulled
the door open so quickly I was sure she’d been peering out the peephole as I
came down the hallway. Good thing I hadn’t been picking my nose—not that I’d
ever pick my nose in public, but even so.
“Now
what do you suggest we do?” said Eleanor as she turned and went into the
enormous living area of the suite. She plopped down in an overstuffed armchair while
I took in the view. It was even more beautiful than the view Hatch and I had
had in Poipu. Eleanor’s suite was smack dab on the ocean with the island of
Lana’i clearly outlined on the horizon. The sky was deep blue with only a
single puffy cloud to give it dimension. How in the world could someone be
having a hissy fit with that kind of God-given beauty laid out in front of
them?
“Catch
me up here, Eleanor,” I said. “I’m not exactly sure what’s going on.”
“Charles
won’t sign the pre-nup,” she said.
“Isn’t
it kind of late for a pre-nup?”
“It’s
not too late until I say ‘I do’,” she snapped. “I just got the final papers
from my lawyer yesterday.”
I
tried another tack. “Did Charles know a pre-nup was coming?”
“Well,
he should have. I mean, think about it. The guy doesn’t have a pot to pee in.
And he’s got five kids! I only have one child.”
“And
you enjoy a considerably more comfortable lifestyle than Charles?” That was the
best I could do in coming up with a tactful way of saying, You’re loaded and
he’s not .
“Oh
c’mon, Pali, I’m not kidding myself. I know I can be somewhat hard to please at
times. But what I’m offering Charles is a life he’s only dreamed of. All he has
to do is sign the pre-nup and agree that the money’s mine. It’s not like I’m
accusing him of anything. But if he won’t sign, it’s like he’s saying he’s only
going to put up with me until he can dump me and take half of everything. It’s
not right.”
I
nodded. “Okay. How can I help?”
“Go down
there and have a word with him. He’ll listen to you.”
I
wasn’t sure how much Charles was willing to listen but I agreed to give it a
go. I took the elevator down to the first floor.
I
knocked and Charles let me in. He said nothing. His room turned out to be a
‘standard’ room with a ‘garden’ view; the cheapest accommodation in the entire hotel.
“You
know why I’m here?” I said.
“I’ve
got a good idea.”
“Well,
why not just sign it?”
He
stared out the window. The view was mostly parking lot.
here!”
I locked
up and got into my forlorn little green Geo Metro. I’d promised myself over and
over that as soon as I could swing it I’d buy a new ride. A flicker of
recollection of yesterday’s meeting shot through me and I realized I might be able
to go car shopping in the very near future. That put a smile on my face even
though I was on my way to handle my least favorite part of my job: run
interference between a cranky bride and her reluctant groom.
I
pulled up near the Grand King Kamehameha Resort and Spa and parked on the
street. No way would I subject myself to the stares and eye rolls of valet
parking. And besides, I had a hunch after my meeting with Eleanor the last
thing I’d want is to be hanging around waiting for a valet to bring my car
around.
“ Aloha and welcome to the Grand King Kamehameha,” said the doorman as he pulled the
heavy glass and brass door open for me. “May I direct you to your destination?”
I
wanted to tell him my destination was a rude dressing down by an overwrought
senior citizen and ask him where he’d suggest that take place, but instead I
smiled and said I knew the way.
I
called Eleanor’s room from the house phone.
“It
took you long enough,” she said. “Come on up.”
I took
the elevator to the fourth floor. As I walked down to her room, I realized her
room number was at the very end of the hall. A suite. A really big, really
spendy suite.
She pulled
the door open so quickly I was sure she’d been peering out the peephole as I
came down the hallway. Good thing I hadn’t been picking my nose—not that I’d
ever pick my nose in public, but even so.
“Now
what do you suggest we do?” said Eleanor as she turned and went into the
enormous living area of the suite. She plopped down in an overstuffed armchair while
I took in the view. It was even more beautiful than the view Hatch and I had
had in Poipu. Eleanor’s suite was smack dab on the ocean with the island of
Lana’i clearly outlined on the horizon. The sky was deep blue with only a
single puffy cloud to give it dimension. How in the world could someone be
having a hissy fit with that kind of God-given beauty laid out in front of
them?
“Catch
me up here, Eleanor,” I said. “I’m not exactly sure what’s going on.”
“Charles
won’t sign the pre-nup,” she said.
“Isn’t
it kind of late for a pre-nup?”
“It’s
not too late until I say ‘I do’,” she snapped. “I just got the final papers
from my lawyer yesterday.”
I
tried another tack. “Did Charles know a pre-nup was coming?”
“Well,
he should have. I mean, think about it. The guy doesn’t have a pot to pee in.
And he’s got five kids! I only have one child.”
“And
you enjoy a considerably more comfortable lifestyle than Charles?” That was the
best I could do in coming up with a tactful way of saying, You’re loaded and
he’s not .
“Oh
c’mon, Pali, I’m not kidding myself. I know I can be somewhat hard to please at
times. But what I’m offering Charles is a life he’s only dreamed of. All he has
to do is sign the pre-nup and agree that the money’s mine. It’s not like I’m
accusing him of anything. But if he won’t sign, it’s like he’s saying he’s only
going to put up with me until he can dump me and take half of everything. It’s
not right.”
I
nodded. “Okay. How can I help?”
“Go down
there and have a word with him. He’ll listen to you.”
I
wasn’t sure how much Charles was willing to listen but I agreed to give it a
go. I took the elevator down to the first floor.
I
knocked and Charles let me in. He said nothing. His room turned out to be a
‘standard’ room with a ‘garden’ view; the cheapest accommodation in the entire hotel.
“You
know why I’m here?” I said.
“I’ve
got a good idea.”
“Well,
why not just sign it?”
He
stared out the window. The view was mostly parking lot.
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