14bis Plum Spooky by Janet Evanovich

A gravy ladle, for crying out loud. I had no idea where gravy ladle had come from. Baseball bat and tennis racket had horrified me, and then gravy ladle popped into my head. Maybe I was hungry.
    Morelli was slouched in a chair in the waiting room when I walked in. I took the seat beside him and sat with my bag hugged to my chest.
    “Will he be okay?” I asked Morelli.
    “That’s a complicated question. There’s a lot more wrong with him than a nail in the ass.”
    An hour later, Anthony got wheeled out facedown on a gurney ready to go home. He was wearing baggy hospital pajamas, and one side of his butt had a big bulge where he was ban daged.
    “He’s full of local anesthesia and happy juice,” the nurse told Morelli, “so he should be okay for the ride home. And he’s got a prescription for painkiller and antibiotic. And he’s got directions for changing the dressing once a day. Bring him back in ten days to get the sutures removed.” She handed Morelli a little bag. “Here’s his nails in case he wants to frame them.”
    I ran for the SUV and hustled it around to the emergency entrance. Morelli and a male nurse loaded Anthony into the back, and I drove us to Morelli’s house. Morelli dragged Anthony into the house and got him facedown on the couch.
    “Women,” Anthony said. “Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.”
    Bob sniffed Anthony and ran away. I was in pretty much the same frame of mind as Bob.
    “Gotta go,” I said. “Things to do.”
    Morelli walked me to my Jeep. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me with a lot of tongue and desperation.
    “You’re leaving a sinking ship,” he said.
    “Think of this as a bonding time. And keep him tranqued.”

ELEVEN
    D IESEL WAS AT the dining room table working on my computer when I walked in. “What’s the word on the naked woman?” he asked.
    “I managed to get her out of Morelli’s bed, but she came back and shot his brother in the ass with a nail gun.”
    Diesel pushed back in his chair and smiled wide. “I’d ask for details, but they might be disappointing compared to what I’m thinking.”
    “It was a fiasco.” I got a beer out of the fridge and chugged half of it. “What are you doing?”
    “Prowling around on the Net. Trying to learn something about electromagnetic fields. Munch’s doctoral thesis was specific to atmospheric ionization, a subject about which I know zip.”
    I couldn’t see Carl, but I could hear Super Mario Bros. coming from the couch.
    “Has he been playing that all night?” I asked Diesel.
    Diesel stood and stretched. “Yep.”
    “And you’re okay with it?”
    “Yep.”
    “Boy I’m impressed. That’s so mellow.”
    “Actually I’m only hanging on until the battery runs down. I figure he’s got about two minutes left. And he doesn’t know how to recharge the thing.”
    And at that moment there was silence in the room.
    “Eep?” Carl said. He stood and looked over the back of the couch at us. He held the game player up for us to see. “Eeep.”
    “It’s dead,” Diesel said.
    Carl’s eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open. He shook the game player and examined it.
    “Jeez,” I said to Diesel. “That’s tough.”
    “Easy for you to say. You spent the night with a naked woman, and I spent it with this monkey.”
    Carl threw the game at Diesel and tagged him in the back of the head.
    “This is getting old,” Diesel said, picking the game up off the floor. “I’m not as nice as I look. If I hear one more eeep I’m gonna open a can of whoop-ass on the monkey.”
    “You’re frustrated because you can’t get to Wulf.”
    “That’s part of it.” His phone rang, and he answered and listened. “Be right there,” he said and disconnected.
    “Flash?” I asked.
    “Yeah. Wulf returned to the Sky Social Club. He’s inside. Let’s roll.”
    “What about Carl?”
    “What about him?”
    “I don’t want to just leave him here in this mood.”
    Diesel pulled a charger