park by the woods and killed the lights. Within seconds, she’d kicked her jeans off and straddled him, pushing him far inside her, grinding on him like she couldn’t get enough. And she couldn’t. For the first time sex was something for her, not just some mystery for him, and as he pushed her T-shirt and bra up, his eyes glazed and breath heavy, she slid one hand down to touch herself as she fucked him.
‘Jesus, Becca,’ he said, and the helpless need in his voice intensified her own lust. She was lost in the sensation, and as she rode him and worked herself, feeling him getting harder as he fought to control the urge to come, she moaned load and hard and adult. Finally, she collapsed on his shoulder and it was his turn to cry out, all the need, all the anger and lust and love pounding into her with his last few thrusts.
When satiated sanity returned, they smiled and giggled at each other as Becca pulled on her jeans, her legs suddenly cold without the car engine and heater running. Aiden rolled another joint and they shared it in a comfortable silence, both staring out at the night and basking in their afterglow. Becca, although no longer rushing, was still too high to feel awkward or embarrassed about their sex, as she usually did if she thought about actually letting go and doing what made her feel good. Tonight was like the first time all over again. Except this time she felt like an actual woman , not a girl.
As they passed the joint between them, Aiden looked at her, almost in awe, and she was hit by the thought that there was nothing dirty in enjoying her body or his, and that he might actually like it if she did just do whatever she wanted. There was nothing to be ashamed of. It wouldn’t stop him loving her. Judging by how he was looking at her right now, it might just make him love her more.
Sex was weird. Or maybe it wasn’t so much that sex was weird, it was just that it was like drugs. All the way through growing up, people tell you how you shouldn’t do it. Then you do it and it feels great. Why didn’t they ever tell you that bit? And at least sex wasn’t illegal. But why make you feel so guilty about something you’re actually allowed to do by sixteen? Not that age had stopped plenty at school. Jenny for one. Everyone knew that Jenny fucked around. Even Becca’s mum knew. When they’d bumped into Jenny clothes shopping with her mum, after the polite hellos and quick escapes, Becca’s mum had glanced back at the rack they’d been browsing and quietly sneered, Like mother, like daughter. She might as well have spat sluts at them. It was all in the look. Maybe her mum was jealous. Maybe her dad didn’t cut it in the bedroom department. That was a thought and an image she really didn’t want to linger on – there weren’t enough drugs in the world to make her want to think about her parents fucking – so she turned on the radio and let the music distract her.
When they’d finished the spliff, Aiden drove them home, Becca’s head on his shoulder even though it meant her midriff was uncomfortable with the stretch. She didn’t care. She loved him. She loved touching him.
It was gone two a.m. when they crawled, naked, into his cold bed, huddling together under the duvet until their feet thawed, and as their shivering subsided, they did it again. It was quieter this time. Gentle. Lovemaking , Becca thought, even though the word made her cringe. But that’s what it was.
Seventeen
TAKEN FROM DI CAITLIN BENNETT’S FILES:
EXTRACT FROM NATASHA HOWLAND’S NOTEBOOK
I let Mark Pritchard snog me. I could see Hayley watching when he did it and I stared right back at her, as if I was victorious. I was victorious. She was like an ice queen, as if she was the one who’d frozen to death and come back to life. Perhaps Hayley has grown prettier than me, but she doesn’t have what I have. She doesn’t have my mystique . Not now. She doesn’t have Mark Pritchard chasing her like I
‘Jesus, Becca,’ he said, and the helpless need in his voice intensified her own lust. She was lost in the sensation, and as she rode him and worked herself, feeling him getting harder as he fought to control the urge to come, she moaned load and hard and adult. Finally, she collapsed on his shoulder and it was his turn to cry out, all the need, all the anger and lust and love pounding into her with his last few thrusts.
When satiated sanity returned, they smiled and giggled at each other as Becca pulled on her jeans, her legs suddenly cold without the car engine and heater running. Aiden rolled another joint and they shared it in a comfortable silence, both staring out at the night and basking in their afterglow. Becca, although no longer rushing, was still too high to feel awkward or embarrassed about their sex, as she usually did if she thought about actually letting go and doing what made her feel good. Tonight was like the first time all over again. Except this time she felt like an actual woman , not a girl.
As they passed the joint between them, Aiden looked at her, almost in awe, and she was hit by the thought that there was nothing dirty in enjoying her body or his, and that he might actually like it if she did just do whatever she wanted. There was nothing to be ashamed of. It wouldn’t stop him loving her. Judging by how he was looking at her right now, it might just make him love her more.
Sex was weird. Or maybe it wasn’t so much that sex was weird, it was just that it was like drugs. All the way through growing up, people tell you how you shouldn’t do it. Then you do it and it feels great. Why didn’t they ever tell you that bit? And at least sex wasn’t illegal. But why make you feel so guilty about something you’re actually allowed to do by sixteen? Not that age had stopped plenty at school. Jenny for one. Everyone knew that Jenny fucked around. Even Becca’s mum knew. When they’d bumped into Jenny clothes shopping with her mum, after the polite hellos and quick escapes, Becca’s mum had glanced back at the rack they’d been browsing and quietly sneered, Like mother, like daughter. She might as well have spat sluts at them. It was all in the look. Maybe her mum was jealous. Maybe her dad didn’t cut it in the bedroom department. That was a thought and an image she really didn’t want to linger on – there weren’t enough drugs in the world to make her want to think about her parents fucking – so she turned on the radio and let the music distract her.
When they’d finished the spliff, Aiden drove them home, Becca’s head on his shoulder even though it meant her midriff was uncomfortable with the stretch. She didn’t care. She loved him. She loved touching him.
It was gone two a.m. when they crawled, naked, into his cold bed, huddling together under the duvet until their feet thawed, and as their shivering subsided, they did it again. It was quieter this time. Gentle. Lovemaking , Becca thought, even though the word made her cringe. But that’s what it was.
Seventeen
TAKEN FROM DI CAITLIN BENNETT’S FILES:
EXTRACT FROM NATASHA HOWLAND’S NOTEBOOK
I let Mark Pritchard snog me. I could see Hayley watching when he did it and I stared right back at her, as if I was victorious. I was victorious. She was like an ice queen, as if she was the one who’d frozen to death and come back to life. Perhaps Hayley has grown prettier than me, but she doesn’t have what I have. She doesn’t have my mystique . Not now. She doesn’t have Mark Pritchard chasing her like I
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