Zip Gun Boogie by Mark Timlin Page A

be natural and too long for her age. She wore a vaguely bohemian outfit of dark patterned long-sleeved shirt, worn loose over a mini skirt and black tights, with high-heeled boots, lots of silver, and a crystal on a chain around her neck. I disliked her on sight.
    On their way out, Pandora stopped over at our table and spoke to me. ‘I’ve been expecting a visit,’ he said.
    â€˜You’re next on my list.’
    â€˜When?’
    â€˜Tomorrow?’
    â€˜Sure. Come up at eleven and have breakfast.’
    â€˜OK. I look forward to it,’ I replied. I could see the woman clocking me through the short conversation. The two teeny boppers looked bored throughout, and drifted away towards the exit.
    â€˜Aren’t you going to introduce us, Keith?’ asked the woman.
    â€˜Sorry,’ he said. ‘Nick, this is Andrea Batiste. Andrea, Nick Sharman.’
    â€˜Nice to meet you,’ I said. Although it wasn’t particularly.
    â€˜And you,’ she said, and smiled. She looked younger when she did.
    â€˜Tomorrow then,’ said Pandora, and they moved away. As they went Andrea Batiste looked over her shoulder at me.
    When they were safely through the door, Seltza said, ‘Shit! I couldn’t tell you what I could do to those two little honey bunnies.’
    â€˜Man,’ said Turdo, ‘I’d love to have the pair of them in the shower, soaping me up and jerking me off.’
    â€˜Soapy tit wank,’ said Chick, with a faraway look in his eyes.
    â€˜You fuckers are disgusting,’ I said.
    â€˜Hey, Mr Straight, loosen up,’ said Seltza. ‘They love it as much as that hairy fucker Pandora. Come on, man. Don’t tell me it hasn’t crossed your mind. That you haven’t thought about it a bit. Everyone else round here has.’
    To be honest I had, and that’s what I didn’t like. I’ll admit that the thought of those two lithe young bodies all over me like a rash turned me on. Then I thought about Judith and I felt ashamed. ‘Sure,’ I said, ‘I’ve thought about it. And then after I’ve thought about it, I’ve thought how it would be if it was my little girl in a couple of years. Know what I mean?’
    The table fell silent. ‘Sure,’ said Seltza after a moment, raising his hands in surrender. ‘Nothing personal, partner.’ He pronounced it, ‘podner’. ‘Didn’t mean to give you a hard time. Subject closed. I didn’t know you had a kid of your own.’
    â€˜How could you?’ I said. ‘Forget it.’
    So he did and we ordered another round of drinks.
    â€˜So what about this band then?’ I said. ‘What’s the full SP?’
    â€˜Come again,’ said Seltza.
    â€˜Starting price,’ I explained. ‘A horse-racing term. I mean, what’s the story from the beginning?’
    â€˜Shit,’ said Seltza. ‘How long you got?’
    â€˜Long enough. Tell me.’
    â€˜I’ll tell you one thing,’ said Chick, ‘this is the dyingest band in the world. Trash was real lucky.’
    â€˜No, man,’ said Turdo. ‘This ain’t the dyingest band. The unluckiest, yeah, but the dyingest, no.’
    â€˜Who then?’ said Chick.
    â€˜ T-Rex ,’ said Turdo. ‘All them mothers dead.’
    â€˜ Lynyrd Skynyrd ,’ said Seltza. ‘Or The Allman Brothers. ’
    â€˜How about The Bar-Kays ?’ said Turdo.
    Chick thought about it. ‘OK, maybe they ain’t the dyingest band. But they’re fucking close.’
    â€˜Tell me about it,’ I said.
    â€˜Christ!’ said Chick, and started ticking off on his fingers. ‘The first drummer they had took too much acid and freaked out. One guitarist joined The Moonies. Another ended up in a mental hospital.’
    â€˜No, man, that was another drummer,’ interrupted Seltza. ‘That crazy fucker Bobby Boyle, or whatever the hell