her.
The moment Yukiko’s skin is exposed to the air it begins to burn, and she wonders if this is what her mother experienced in her last few moments. She walks out of the reservoir, with the water still streaming from her and barely able to feel the small stones beneath her feet. And now the girl has hold of her elbow and is helping her over to her rucksack and her neat stack of clothes, as if she’s just completed some marathon swim.
Before she reaches her clothes Yukiko realises she has nothing with which to dry herself and decides to sacrifice her fleece. She grabs it, wipes her face with it – drags it up and down each limb. Then pulls her trousers on over her damp legs, which are turning red now. Leaning against the girl, who she thinks must be pretty strong. Her shirt and jacket. But it’s only when she sits on her rucksack to dry her feet and put her socks and shoes back on that Yuki really starts to shiver. All the same, she’s thrilled. Feels she’s really achieved something here. Although when she looks out at the water it’s flat and dead again, as if her attempt to get in there and stir things up is already gone, forgotten, and the water’s thoughts have turned back in on themselves.
17
I n her first year at high school Yukiko fainted on two separate occasions. At the time she worried it was a habit her body might get into – something it might grow to like. Even now, in the right circumstances, she’ll be convinced that whatever momentarily removed her from this world has finally managed to find her. That it’s in her vicinity and about to throw its awful cloak back over her.
On the first occasion, she was standing in assembly. Mrs Muroya was up on stage, delivering some speech with that odd little stammer of hers, and Yuki remembers becoming aware of how many other girls were packed into the hall around her. Thinking that if there was a fire, say, or if she were to suddenly decide that she just wanted to get out of there, how much time it would take to get to the door. She continued to dwell on this, and even when she felt she’d dwelt on it sufficiently and would quite like to move on to something else, she found herself being drawn back to it, again and again, as if she’d started up some little inner motor that now refused to stop.
Then it was as if one of the girls over by the light switches started playing about with them. Yuki remembers thinking, Someone’s going to get herself introuble. And she was about to turn, to try and see what was going on back there, when something happened – as if something new and unusual had been introduced to her bloodstream. As if she was suddenly halfway back to the place where she did her dreaming. And the girl over at the light switches decided, Oh, what the hell, and turned the whole lot out.
When she came round Miss Ueno was crouched beside her looking, it has to be said, pretty irritated. Presumably, at the inconvenience of having to deal with this feeble little girl. She helped Yuki to her feet, then slowly led her through the others. It was good to see everyone give her so much space, though Yuki later concluded that they probably did this through some fear of contamination. Then she was led over to Miss Tanaka’s office, where she was given a seat, a glass of water and all the time in the world to consider the complete weirdness of what had just gone on.
Two or three months later she passed out on the subway, which was even more troubling since she was among complete strangers and far from home. She remembers standing on the platform, the train pulling in and the doors slowly opening to reveal all the passengers squeezed inside. As she stepped into the carriage she looked down and noticed the thin strip of darkness between the train and the platform. And it was as if, having been acknowledged, that crazy darkness decided to come on up from under the train to be with her. She had just enough time to think, Hey,I remember this from last time.
The moment Yukiko’s skin is exposed to the air it begins to burn, and she wonders if this is what her mother experienced in her last few moments. She walks out of the reservoir, with the water still streaming from her and barely able to feel the small stones beneath her feet. And now the girl has hold of her elbow and is helping her over to her rucksack and her neat stack of clothes, as if she’s just completed some marathon swim.
Before she reaches her clothes Yukiko realises she has nothing with which to dry herself and decides to sacrifice her fleece. She grabs it, wipes her face with it – drags it up and down each limb. Then pulls her trousers on over her damp legs, which are turning red now. Leaning against the girl, who she thinks must be pretty strong. Her shirt and jacket. But it’s only when she sits on her rucksack to dry her feet and put her socks and shoes back on that Yuki really starts to shiver. All the same, she’s thrilled. Feels she’s really achieved something here. Although when she looks out at the water it’s flat and dead again, as if her attempt to get in there and stir things up is already gone, forgotten, and the water’s thoughts have turned back in on themselves.
17
I n her first year at high school Yukiko fainted on two separate occasions. At the time she worried it was a habit her body might get into – something it might grow to like. Even now, in the right circumstances, she’ll be convinced that whatever momentarily removed her from this world has finally managed to find her. That it’s in her vicinity and about to throw its awful cloak back over her.
On the first occasion, she was standing in assembly. Mrs Muroya was up on stage, delivering some speech with that odd little stammer of hers, and Yuki remembers becoming aware of how many other girls were packed into the hall around her. Thinking that if there was a fire, say, or if she were to suddenly decide that she just wanted to get out of there, how much time it would take to get to the door. She continued to dwell on this, and even when she felt she’d dwelt on it sufficiently and would quite like to move on to something else, she found herself being drawn back to it, again and again, as if she’d started up some little inner motor that now refused to stop.
Then it was as if one of the girls over by the light switches started playing about with them. Yuki remembers thinking, Someone’s going to get herself introuble. And she was about to turn, to try and see what was going on back there, when something happened – as if something new and unusual had been introduced to her bloodstream. As if she was suddenly halfway back to the place where she did her dreaming. And the girl over at the light switches decided, Oh, what the hell, and turned the whole lot out.
When she came round Miss Ueno was crouched beside her looking, it has to be said, pretty irritated. Presumably, at the inconvenience of having to deal with this feeble little girl. She helped Yuki to her feet, then slowly led her through the others. It was good to see everyone give her so much space, though Yuki later concluded that they probably did this through some fear of contamination. Then she was led over to Miss Tanaka’s office, where she was given a seat, a glass of water and all the time in the world to consider the complete weirdness of what had just gone on.
Two or three months later she passed out on the subway, which was even more troubling since she was among complete strangers and far from home. She remembers standing on the platform, the train pulling in and the doors slowly opening to reveal all the passengers squeezed inside. As she stepped into the carriage she looked down and noticed the thin strip of darkness between the train and the platform. And it was as if, having been acknowledged, that crazy darkness decided to come on up from under the train to be with her. She had just enough time to think, Hey,I remember this from last time.
Similar Books
