Charlie.
“God, I’m glad I have a daughter,” Charlie said.
Joe grinned. “I’ll remind you of that in a few years when one of the twins shows up to take Sonya out on a date.”
Rick really laughed that time.
Charlie didn’t.
“Enough about the twins,” Joe said. “Are we playing poker? Or are we going to sit around gossiping like the girls are doing
upstairs?”
Charlie said, “And I guess you already know who they’re gossiping about tonight.”
Joe looked at Rick.
Rick looked at Joe.
They both looked back at Charlie.
“Alicia,” Charlie said, looking at Joe. “Didn’t Tish tell you?”
“No, Tish didn’t tell me,” Joe said. “And I wish you’d stop pointing that out. Tish only tells me what Tish wants me to know.”
“Not Jen,” Charlie boasted. “Jen tells me everything.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not in touch with my feminine side the way you are,” Joe said. “And just for the record,” he added, “I happen
to like it that way. There are some things guys are better off
not
knowing.”
Rick said, “You mean like why the girls are gossiping about Alicia tonight?” He brought his beer bottle to his lips.
Charlie and his feminine side said, “Alicia asked Zada to invite her over tonight to share sexual fantasies with the Housewives’
Fantasy Club.”
Rick spewed beer all over the table.
“But Zada refused to invite her,” Charlie said. He frowned at Rick, then grabbed a napkin from a stack sitting by the snack
tray Tish had brought them and handed it to him. “I guess Zada was still pissed about her coming over to welcome you back
to the neighborhood.”
Rick took the napkin and started mopping up the beer.
Joe said, “Too bad. I can’t think of anything sexier than a bunch of women sitting around sharing their sexual fantasies.
That’s one conversation I’d sure like to hear.”
Rick knocked the whole bottle over this time.
“Geez, Rick,” Charlie grumbled. “What’s your problem?”
Joe teased, “Yeah, Rick. What’s your problem? Other than no sex for six months. Man, I’d shoot myself. It’s hard enough going
without all week while I’m traveling.”
“Yeah, but you make up for it on the weekend,” Charlie said.
Joe said, “How do you know?”
Charlie grinned. “Remember? Jen tells me everything.”
“Would you drop the sex subject?” Rick said, looking at Charlie. He looked over at Joe. “And aren’t you supposed to be keeping
an eye on the twins?”
“Whatever you say, dear,” Joe joked, and turned the monitor back on.
Except laughter blared through the speaker this time, and it
wasn’t
the twins. They all three stared at the monitor screen. It was Jen, Tish, and Zada, sitting around the kitchen table.
“Sorry, wrong channel,” Joe said and pushed a button.
The picture changed. They were back to the twins’ room again. Both boys were in bed now, the TV off.
Joe looked at the monitor for a second, then back at Rick and Charlie. A sinister grin spread across his face.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Oh, yeah. I’m thinking it,” Charlie said.
Rick’s blank look said he didn’t have a clue.
Joe said, “You told us earlier how you plan to outplay Zada by turning up the sexual tension, Rick. One push of the button
on that monitor and you’ll have the inside information on what she’s planning to do to you.”
“No way,” Rick said, finally getting it. “There’s no way I want any part of eavesdropping on the girls.”
“Technically, it wouldn’t be eavesdropping,” Joe argued. “Technically, I’d only be doing what my lovely wife instructed me
to do. Being in charge of the monitor tonight. It’s not my fault Tish forgot about the new camera in the kitchen.”
Rick said, “Wrong.
Technically
what you’d be doing is called unauthorized surveillance.”
“Dammit, Rick,” Joe complained, “just once, could you switch off that straight-as-an-arrow side of your brain and be a
“God, I’m glad I have a daughter,” Charlie said.
Joe grinned. “I’ll remind you of that in a few years when one of the twins shows up to take Sonya out on a date.”
Rick really laughed that time.
Charlie didn’t.
“Enough about the twins,” Joe said. “Are we playing poker? Or are we going to sit around gossiping like the girls are doing
upstairs?”
Charlie said, “And I guess you already know who they’re gossiping about tonight.”
Joe looked at Rick.
Rick looked at Joe.
They both looked back at Charlie.
“Alicia,” Charlie said, looking at Joe. “Didn’t Tish tell you?”
“No, Tish didn’t tell me,” Joe said. “And I wish you’d stop pointing that out. Tish only tells me what Tish wants me to know.”
“Not Jen,” Charlie boasted. “Jen tells me everything.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not in touch with my feminine side the way you are,” Joe said. “And just for the record,” he added, “I happen
to like it that way. There are some things guys are better off
not
knowing.”
Rick said, “You mean like why the girls are gossiping about Alicia tonight?” He brought his beer bottle to his lips.
Charlie and his feminine side said, “Alicia asked Zada to invite her over tonight to share sexual fantasies with the Housewives’
Fantasy Club.”
Rick spewed beer all over the table.
“But Zada refused to invite her,” Charlie said. He frowned at Rick, then grabbed a napkin from a stack sitting by the snack
tray Tish had brought them and handed it to him. “I guess Zada was still pissed about her coming over to welcome you back
to the neighborhood.”
Rick took the napkin and started mopping up the beer.
Joe said, “Too bad. I can’t think of anything sexier than a bunch of women sitting around sharing their sexual fantasies.
That’s one conversation I’d sure like to hear.”
Rick knocked the whole bottle over this time.
“Geez, Rick,” Charlie grumbled. “What’s your problem?”
Joe teased, “Yeah, Rick. What’s your problem? Other than no sex for six months. Man, I’d shoot myself. It’s hard enough going
without all week while I’m traveling.”
“Yeah, but you make up for it on the weekend,” Charlie said.
Joe said, “How do you know?”
Charlie grinned. “Remember? Jen tells me everything.”
“Would you drop the sex subject?” Rick said, looking at Charlie. He looked over at Joe. “And aren’t you supposed to be keeping
an eye on the twins?”
“Whatever you say, dear,” Joe joked, and turned the monitor back on.
Except laughter blared through the speaker this time, and it
wasn’t
the twins. They all three stared at the monitor screen. It was Jen, Tish, and Zada, sitting around the kitchen table.
“Sorry, wrong channel,” Joe said and pushed a button.
The picture changed. They were back to the twins’ room again. Both boys were in bed now, the TV off.
Joe looked at the monitor for a second, then back at Rick and Charlie. A sinister grin spread across his face.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Oh, yeah. I’m thinking it,” Charlie said.
Rick’s blank look said he didn’t have a clue.
Joe said, “You told us earlier how you plan to outplay Zada by turning up the sexual tension, Rick. One push of the button
on that monitor and you’ll have the inside information on what she’s planning to do to you.”
“No way,” Rick said, finally getting it. “There’s no way I want any part of eavesdropping on the girls.”
“Technically, it wouldn’t be eavesdropping,” Joe argued. “Technically, I’d only be doing what my lovely wife instructed me
to do. Being in charge of the monitor tonight. It’s not my fault Tish forgot about the new camera in the kitchen.”
Rick said, “Wrong.
Technically
what you’d be doing is called unauthorized surveillance.”
“Dammit, Rick,” Joe complained, “just once, could you switch off that straight-as-an-arrow side of your brain and be a
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