You Can't Scare Me! by R. L. Stine Page A

snakes and being in the woods and being in the water. And anything else you can think of.
    And once I actually saw him jump away from his own shadow. No kidding. He swore he tripped. But I know the truth.
    It’s a pain having a younger brother who’s bigger than me. And it’s an even bigger pain having a huge monster brother who is a total coward.
    I love scary movies. But my parents say I have to go to G-rated baby movies with Brandon so he won’t get scared. I like to watch scary TV shows, too. And play really cool battle games on my Xbox.
    But guess what? I’m not allowed while Brandon is around. We don’t want to upset the poor guy — do we?
    And now … even worse … he’s ruining my first trip to HorrorLand.
    He’s too scared to do anything. The rides are too scary for him. The games are too noisy and frightening. The Haunted Theater is too
haunted!
    He’s even afraid of the Horrors. They’re the big, furry, green-and-purple park workers. You know. They are guides, and they run the rides and the game booths and work in the shops.
    Brandon is almost as big as they are. But he’s terrified of them.
    So how much fun am I having with him at HorrorLand? Can you spell
zero?
    It was a cool, gray day. Wisps of fog hung low over the park. A perfect spooky day to be at HorrorLand.
    â€œBrandon, what if we go on the scariest ride here?” I said. “What if —”
    â€œI don’t want to,” he said. His favorite expression. He sticks out his lower lip and gets all pouty and says, “I don’t want to.”
    â€œNo. Listen to me,” I said. He was staring at a Horror behind a food cart. I grabbed his arm and tried to turn him around. But I wasn’t strong enough to budge him.
    â€œWhat if we both go on the scariest ride ever,” I started again. “And you
like
it? Wouldn’t that be great? Wouldn’t you think it was cool to find out that you like scary rides, too?”
    â€œBut I don’t
want
to,” Brandon whined.
    I sighed. Mom and Dad let Brandon and me go off on our own this afternoon. And I didn’t want to waste it doing baby stuff.
    I dragged Brandon up to a tall green Horror wearing bright yellow overalls with yellow suspenders. He wore a button on his cap that read: I’M A SCREAM!
    He grinned at me. “Hey, kiddo — know why I wear yellow suspenders?” he asked.
    â€œWhy?” I said.
    â€œTo keep my pants up!” He roared with laughter and slapped his knees.
    â€œThat’s a very bad joke,” I said.
    â€œNo, it isn’t,” the Horror replied. “It’s a SCREAM!” He opened his mouth and screamed at the top of his lungs.
    Brandon covered his ears.
    The Horror tapped the button on his cap. “Just doing my job,” he said. He coughed. “I get
such
a sore throat from this job! What can I do for you?”
    â€œMy brother and I want to do something way scary,” I said. “What’s the scariest ride in HorrorLand?”
    The Horror rubbed his furry chin. “Have you tried the Doom Slide?”
    â€œToo scary,” Brandon said, doing his pouty face.
    â€œI did it without him,” I said. “It was okay. But not great.”
    â€œHow about the A-Nile-Ator coaster?” the Horror asked. “It’s the world’s only coaster where you ride in a coffin.”
    Brandon shivered and shut his eyes. “Not for me,” he whispered.
    â€œIt was good. But not really scary enough,” I said.
    The Horror stared at me for a long time. He rubbed one of the curled horns on either side of his cap. “Okay, I get it,” he said. “You want something to make you scream like
this.”
    Â 
    Even more frights to keep you awake at night! Here’s a preview of
    RETURN OF THE MUMMY

    Another classic Goosebumps adventure
with brand-new bonus material
    Â 
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    â€œGabe, we will be landing soon,” the