Worth the Fight (Accidentally on Purpose) by LD Davis Page A

asking from whom she had to get away from.
    She let out a heavy, weary sigh. “From life. I had to get away from life,” she said as she got up off of the couch. “I’m more tired than I thought I was. See you in the morning.”
    She disappeared into the bedroom again. I sat on the couch staring at the door, surprised by the anger that had rei gnited inside of me. Emmy has kept so much away from me and she was doing it again. She thought by shutting herself in that damn room that she could just cut me off and not tell me anything. I had the right to know what happened to her, who or what chased her pregnant ass all the way to the fucking French countryside where she spent I don’t even know how long with strangers, without her family and friends.
    I pushed my hand through my hair and sighed with fru stration. I kept telling myself that this was about Lucas – what his life was like in the womb, but honestly, it was about Emmy, too. I wasn’t over what she did, not by a long shot, and though my change in heart towards her was rather sudden, it was genuine. I cared to know whatever her struggles were, but I was pissed off that she chose to run away instead of humbling herself and coming to me for help. Did she really think I would turn her away if something terrible had happened?
    I hope Kyle Sterling breaks your heart and makes you choke on it.
    The words bounce around in my head and answer my question. Yes, she probably did think I would turn her away, even if something terrible had happened. Even though I knew Kyle Sterling was probably somewhere in the equation to blame, I had to accept the fact that my own words may have had a severe impact on Emmy’s decisions thereafter. I had to accept the fact that I may be just as much at fault as anyone else.

 
    Chapter Nine
     
    After that night when she told me she had to escape life, Emmy stopped closing herself off in the bedroom every night, but her smiles were small and sedated, and laughter was none xistent. Sometimes she would say something incredibly smart ass and I would get my hopes up that the old Emmy was finally coming through, but her eyes always gave her away. There was something completely broken inside of her. It held her back, it held her down, and consistently snuffed out whatever contentment she managed to find. There were times when it would seem that this broken thing was on the mend, but it would snap her back into the dark suddenly and unexpectedly.
    I gave Emmy a lot of credit though, she kept trying. She focused hard on putting my firm together. She focused even harder on being a good mom, and even when it looked like she just wanted to suffer alone, she made an effort to be friendly. Whereas in the past, she participated in family functions b ecause maybe she thought she had to, she went out of her way to draw closer to my sisters and mother. It had to be very hard for her to put herself out there over and over while struggling to breathe on the inside.
    The nightmares didn’t fade. Sometimes I’d stand in the dark doorway and just listen. They were all very similar. Som eone was attacking her, and though the dialogue would sometimes change, the ending was always the same. It didn’t take too long for me to hear the name that I had been suspecting. When she begged Kyle to stop hitting her, I had to hold my breath to keep myself from vomiting. I never wanted her to know that I heard her nightmares. I knew it would just make her regress, but that first night when she cried for Kyle to stop, I sat on the edge of the bed and stroked her hair until she quieted. Whether or not she knew I was there, I don’t know. I didn’t ask and she didn’t tell.
    Late one night after listening to Em have another nigh tmare, I slipped out of the apartment and drove over to Claire’s. It was well past that seventy-two hour deadline, by weeks, but I had to make sure that she had done what she said she would. On my way over I worried that maybe she didn’t do the