denial at him almost as if in retaliation for his own secrets. He had tried to get her to say more, but had only succeeded in driving her away. Now the dark mood that had gripped him as she’d left gave the lie to his pretensions to virtue.
All he knew was that someone had threatened her, and that once he got his strength back, he was going to teach that person some proper manners.
XI
F or the next two days Maria forced herself to be brief in her dealings with Josef. He was recovering, and he needed little in the way of assistance other than her changing the dressing on his wound. She told herself that anything beyond that would be less than proper, for more reasons than she cared to count. More than propriety, though, her lie to him weighed upon her, and every moment with him she felt the wound on her cheek and felt the unspoken question in his eyes.
Who did this?
Why hadn’t she told him? Why did a promise to some outlaw long gone by now matter so much to her? Why did it matter at all?
In any case, by shortening her visits to the strictly necessary, Maria was able to walk to and from Gród Narew in daylight. That was more of a concern now that she knew that Lukasz had been banished and might be lurking, awaiting some sort of reprise no matter what Darien might have threatened him with.
Then there was Darien himself. Frightening in his own right …
But an outlaw like that wouldn’t stay long within the sight ofone of the Duke’s fortresses. He was likely far away by now, and she would probably never see him again.
So why had she lied to Josef?
The thought struck her as she entered Josef’s room with his supper; perhaps it was a fear that Josef would think less of her, knowing that she received the attentions, however unwanted, of someone like Lukasz.
As she stepped through the door, she told herself that Josef was not one to condemn her for something that was none of her own doing. If she was an honest woman who wished to do fairly by him, she should admit her lie and tell him of both Lukasz and Darien.
Josef must have read something in her face, because he asked her, “Did I offend you, my lady?”
“Sir?” It was hard to conceal how much the question flustered her.
I need to tell him
.
“Ever since I asked about your face, you’ve been distant. Please forgive me if I was too forward in my question.”
The words died in her throat. She could not find the strength within her to admit what had happened. Not only because of Lukasz, but because of Darien. And because if Josef would not condemn her for Lukasz’s actions, he certainly would for her dishonesty.
She unconsciously touched her still-tender cheek. The eye above it had grown a shadow of a bruise over the last two days, and still he was the only person who’d seen fit to comment upon it.
“Please, there was nothing wrong with your question,” she told him, sick at compounding her lie. “It was an honest mistake.”
“It was your affair. I have no place trespassing where I wasn’t invited.”
Her lies twisted into a sour ball in her stomach. She sucked ina breath and tried to put on a glad face she didn’t feel. “I bear no ill will for your concern, sir.”
He leaned back and stared at the ceiling. “Is there another reason for your silence, then?”
“I—” How could she answer
that
? “I do have other duties, and they must be occupying my mind as well as my time.”
“It is selfish of me,” Josef said, “but I spend most of my time alone in this room. The solitude wears on me.”
“You’ve seen none of your fellows?”
“My Komtur has come to pray with me.” He smiled weakly. “God forgive me, but while he offers me spiritual strength, fellowship is not his strong suit.”
She looked down at him and thought that he had not been the selfish one. She had been avoiding him, preoccupied with her own concerns. She had not once bothered to imagine what it must be like for him.
How would she have felt if someone had
All he knew was that someone had threatened her, and that once he got his strength back, he was going to teach that person some proper manners.
XI
F or the next two days Maria forced herself to be brief in her dealings with Josef. He was recovering, and he needed little in the way of assistance other than her changing the dressing on his wound. She told herself that anything beyond that would be less than proper, for more reasons than she cared to count. More than propriety, though, her lie to him weighed upon her, and every moment with him she felt the wound on her cheek and felt the unspoken question in his eyes.
Who did this?
Why hadn’t she told him? Why did a promise to some outlaw long gone by now matter so much to her? Why did it matter at all?
In any case, by shortening her visits to the strictly necessary, Maria was able to walk to and from Gród Narew in daylight. That was more of a concern now that she knew that Lukasz had been banished and might be lurking, awaiting some sort of reprise no matter what Darien might have threatened him with.
Then there was Darien himself. Frightening in his own right …
But an outlaw like that wouldn’t stay long within the sight ofone of the Duke’s fortresses. He was likely far away by now, and she would probably never see him again.
So why had she lied to Josef?
The thought struck her as she entered Josef’s room with his supper; perhaps it was a fear that Josef would think less of her, knowing that she received the attentions, however unwanted, of someone like Lukasz.
As she stepped through the door, she told herself that Josef was not one to condemn her for something that was none of her own doing. If she was an honest woman who wished to do fairly by him, she should admit her lie and tell him of both Lukasz and Darien.
Josef must have read something in her face, because he asked her, “Did I offend you, my lady?”
“Sir?” It was hard to conceal how much the question flustered her.
I need to tell him
.
“Ever since I asked about your face, you’ve been distant. Please forgive me if I was too forward in my question.”
The words died in her throat. She could not find the strength within her to admit what had happened. Not only because of Lukasz, but because of Darien. And because if Josef would not condemn her for Lukasz’s actions, he certainly would for her dishonesty.
She unconsciously touched her still-tender cheek. The eye above it had grown a shadow of a bruise over the last two days, and still he was the only person who’d seen fit to comment upon it.
“Please, there was nothing wrong with your question,” she told him, sick at compounding her lie. “It was an honest mistake.”
“It was your affair. I have no place trespassing where I wasn’t invited.”
Her lies twisted into a sour ball in her stomach. She sucked ina breath and tried to put on a glad face she didn’t feel. “I bear no ill will for your concern, sir.”
He leaned back and stared at the ceiling. “Is there another reason for your silence, then?”
“I—” How could she answer
that
? “I do have other duties, and they must be occupying my mind as well as my time.”
“It is selfish of me,” Josef said, “but I spend most of my time alone in this room. The solitude wears on me.”
“You’ve seen none of your fellows?”
“My Komtur has come to pray with me.” He smiled weakly. “God forgive me, but while he offers me spiritual strength, fellowship is not his strong suit.”
She looked down at him and thought that he had not been the selfish one. She had been avoiding him, preoccupied with her own concerns. She had not once bothered to imagine what it must be like for him.
How would she have felt if someone had
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