going on here, something he couldn’t quite grasp, like a question he didn’t know the answer to, but he should. It was as if it Summer expected that he should .
Summer turned away to make the call and, with stones in his chest, Crash went into the living room to sit with Sky. She was sleeping peacefully, her face clear of worry. It was how it should be.
The day darkened beyond the window. Black clouds rolled across the horizon. A storm was coming.
Half an hour passed, and the wind was picking up when Summer answered the door to a young woman Crash guessed was the social worker. He didn’t meet Summer’s gaze as the three of them stood in the hall. Summer explained that Sky was sleeping and every so often turned his head to glance at Crash.
When Summer led the social worker through to the kitchen, Crash stared at the open front door. He thought about closing it, but then found himself outside on the pathway just as it started to rain. The cloud was as gray as the wet ground. The air tasted metallic.
The stress of the day weighed heavy, and the desire to run suddenly took over.
Crash didn’t know where it came from. He just needed to go, to move, to stop thinking. Gently he tugged the door closed behind him and sprinted off across the grass, not caring where he was running to, not caring that Summer had his phone. He just needed to outrun his aching heart, to stop trying to figure out what the fuck he was going to do about his feelings, and leave them all behind him.
Chapter 15
I T WAS a wild summer storm Crash ran into. The rain that had begun so gently at first began to hammer down so hard, he could hardly see as he reached the cliffs above the sea. And he ran quicker and quicker until, almost blinded, he leaped over the sea wall and skidded down the muddy cliff face. It was a stupid, reckless move, but only once he slipped and fell flat on his back did he stop and stare up at the fragmented sky, wondering what the hell he was doing.
Perhaps he should work on trying to forget all this, to fucking well get over it. But it would never work—he wanted to be Summer’s friend, even if watching Summer go back to Ren, however badly or carelessly he was treated, was destroying him. He wanted to be there for him, because all these years he hadn’t been, and maybe things would have been different if he had. Summer had no one else.
This was what his heart told him he had to do, and this time he wouldn’t let Summer push him away, however hard it got to stay.
The rain hammering onto his chest seemed to strengthen his resolve—he was alive, and he wouldn’t waste his life forever feeling guilty for his mistakes. If he’d gotten over this once, he could do it again. He could move on, and they could be friends like he and Romeo had become. He would be strong. He was strong.
Only you haven’t got over it, have you? a little voice reminded him.
Why the fuck was love so complicated?
There was movement farther up the cliff, and it wasn’t just the rain. Crash turned his head, just about able to make out a blue-haired figure slipping in the mud and gingerly attempting to pick his way down the cliff face.
Crash sat up, brushing his sopping-wet hair out of his eyes. He couldn’t look up for more than a second without getting blinded by water. The rain was warm but relentless, the sky nothing but gray. He wasn’t sure if it was elation that made everything look brighter and berated himself for feeling it if it was.
Summer saw him and looked relieved. Unhappy but relieved.
We need to talk, Summer signed when he reached the flattened grass where Crash had fallen. He flopped down in the mud and bumped his shoulder against Crash’s. I was a dick to you back there. You should have called me out on it.
Crash frowned. He wasn’t sure what Summer was talking about.
I wanted you to, Summer carried on signing.
Wanted me to what?
Summer brought his lip ring between his teeth and stared at the ground. I didn’t want
Summer turned away to make the call and, with stones in his chest, Crash went into the living room to sit with Sky. She was sleeping peacefully, her face clear of worry. It was how it should be.
The day darkened beyond the window. Black clouds rolled across the horizon. A storm was coming.
Half an hour passed, and the wind was picking up when Summer answered the door to a young woman Crash guessed was the social worker. He didn’t meet Summer’s gaze as the three of them stood in the hall. Summer explained that Sky was sleeping and every so often turned his head to glance at Crash.
When Summer led the social worker through to the kitchen, Crash stared at the open front door. He thought about closing it, but then found himself outside on the pathway just as it started to rain. The cloud was as gray as the wet ground. The air tasted metallic.
The stress of the day weighed heavy, and the desire to run suddenly took over.
Crash didn’t know where it came from. He just needed to go, to move, to stop thinking. Gently he tugged the door closed behind him and sprinted off across the grass, not caring where he was running to, not caring that Summer had his phone. He just needed to outrun his aching heart, to stop trying to figure out what the fuck he was going to do about his feelings, and leave them all behind him.
Chapter 15
I T WAS a wild summer storm Crash ran into. The rain that had begun so gently at first began to hammer down so hard, he could hardly see as he reached the cliffs above the sea. And he ran quicker and quicker until, almost blinded, he leaped over the sea wall and skidded down the muddy cliff face. It was a stupid, reckless move, but only once he slipped and fell flat on his back did he stop and stare up at the fragmented sky, wondering what the hell he was doing.
Perhaps he should work on trying to forget all this, to fucking well get over it. But it would never work—he wanted to be Summer’s friend, even if watching Summer go back to Ren, however badly or carelessly he was treated, was destroying him. He wanted to be there for him, because all these years he hadn’t been, and maybe things would have been different if he had. Summer had no one else.
This was what his heart told him he had to do, and this time he wouldn’t let Summer push him away, however hard it got to stay.
The rain hammering onto his chest seemed to strengthen his resolve—he was alive, and he wouldn’t waste his life forever feeling guilty for his mistakes. If he’d gotten over this once, he could do it again. He could move on, and they could be friends like he and Romeo had become. He would be strong. He was strong.
Only you haven’t got over it, have you? a little voice reminded him.
Why the fuck was love so complicated?
There was movement farther up the cliff, and it wasn’t just the rain. Crash turned his head, just about able to make out a blue-haired figure slipping in the mud and gingerly attempting to pick his way down the cliff face.
Crash sat up, brushing his sopping-wet hair out of his eyes. He couldn’t look up for more than a second without getting blinded by water. The rain was warm but relentless, the sky nothing but gray. He wasn’t sure if it was elation that made everything look brighter and berated himself for feeling it if it was.
Summer saw him and looked relieved. Unhappy but relieved.
We need to talk, Summer signed when he reached the flattened grass where Crash had fallen. He flopped down in the mud and bumped his shoulder against Crash’s. I was a dick to you back there. You should have called me out on it.
Crash frowned. He wasn’t sure what Summer was talking about.
I wanted you to, Summer carried on signing.
Wanted me to what?
Summer brought his lip ring between his teeth and stared at the ground. I didn’t want
Similar Books
