Wide Open by Shelly Crane Page A

held at her head, "and here you are now," she finished, her hand at her waist. "I'm perfectly capable of saying 'no' or 'slow down' if I think we're going too far or too fast."
    "I just…don't want to scare you."
    How the hell did I tell the girl I wanted to be with more than anything else that I'd only ever slept with girls who used me for that purpose or drugs and I had no clue of how regular girls handled their sexual situations?
    "You're not scaring me. You couldn't scare me." She pressed her lips together, uncomfortable. She closed her eyes, her throat worked through a gulp. "I'm not a virgin. Far from it." I didn't know why that surprised me, but it did. "I spent a long time being a girl that would do…" She looked at my shirt, her lip quivering.
    I lifted her chin. I needed to hear this. "Tell me." She stared into my eyes and I knew. I was knocking on the door of the things that were closed, the things she didn't want me to see. "Please, let me in," I whispered against her cheek.
    She steeled herself and sat up, speaking softly but firmly. "Okay, the line is here and you're here now, all right? Let's just cool it."
    Her hands were on the same level. So the sex stuff she was fine with, it was just talking about it that wasn't what she wanted. I leaned back, letting her hop down.
    "Whatever you need."
    "I need to eat," she said, a fake smile on as she continued cheerfully and went to turn off the stove. "I'm starving and I made all this food. Let's eat. Will!"
    Will came in, ashen and pale. "Dude, you all right? You look like death warmed over."
    He stopped. Maya dropped a plate full of food. He looked at her and her wide eyes told me there was something I didn't know. "What?"
    "You didn't tell him?" he asked. He looked hurt more than anything. "Why, Maya? Didn't think he'd come over if he knew?"
    She shook her head angrily. "Because I don't want to talk about it."
    "You need to talk about it," he spouted, glaring at her as he sat at the end of the table. "You need to freaking open the vault."
    "Shut up, Will," she said back and looked at me in apology. "Sorry. Brothers and sisters fight, right?"
    "Right," I heard myself mutter. This was way more than that. They knew that I knew it, but no one was handing over details.
    I bent down and helped her pick up the sliced squash that had fallen. I stared at her face as she picked up the pieces, slamming them into the bowl with every toss so hard that half of them ricocheted back out. I gripped her hand. She looked at me with an I dare you look. She wanted me to ask, to get in their business when it was obvious she didn't want me to know whatever it was. I wasn't going to do it though, no matter how badly I wanted to know what the hell was going on.
    "I got it, sweetheart," was all I said and picked up the squash one piece at a time, so she'd have enough time to straighten her glare and realize I was here to stay. She thought I was going to bolt, but I wasn't.
    I shook my head at myself for being such a hypocrite. I had things I never wanted her to know about. How many times had I thought that if she knew the kind of person I was before, she would run for the nearest hill to get away.
    We sat and had one of the most awkward dinners I've ever participated in. The honey glaze chicken she baked was amazing. There was also wheat and oat rolls and sweet corn on the cob so tender.
    Neither of them seemed to be enjoying it. I sucked down the last of my sweet tea and she got up to get the pitcher.
    "I could have gotten it, but thanks."
    "Welcome," she muttered sadly. I didn't get it. She was the one who got angry, and now, it seemed as if she was pouting.
    Women.
    "Hey, Will, did you see on the news that the Broncos might be firing their general manager?"
    He looked up, barely having touched his food, and smiled to show his gratitude for my attempt to make table conversation. "They won't. It's all bull."
    "You sure? They sound peeved."
    Maya took my plate before I could say anything