the left and to the right, admiring her petite figure and playing with her wispy blond bangs.
We all stared at her. Was she kidding? Did Dana Dreer Fishkill have a sense of humor, after all?
No, she was serious. She was preening. She started singing “Living In America” (she was no James Brown) and almost fell off her platform.
“Well, at least it’s not rubber,” Amanda said, winking at me. “But it’s also not free.”
“Oh, Dana!” Ina gushed at her daughter. “You look so beautiful! How did I get so lucky? First my baby gets married to a wonderful, wealthy man, and now my Jane, my beloved niece, my late sister’s only child, is getting married. And it’s all my doing!”
It sort of was. Ina had been trying to fix up Jane with the guy who lived next door to Jane’s grandmother, but Jane figured him for a nerd, said no thanks and dated half of Manhattan to find a date for Dana’s wedding. Then she met the next-door neighbor—Ethan—at Dana’s wedding, and it was love at first sight.
“Love is so great,” Dana squealed. “When Jane was getting fitted for my wedding, she wasn’t seeing anyone. In fact, she even made up having a boyfriend to take to my wedding. Do you remember that, Jane? All that trouble you went through, trying to find Mr. Right, when my mom had the perfect guy for you all along. If only you’d listened to Mom, you’d have saved yourself a lot of trouble.”
“I like trouble,” Jane shouted from behind the dressing-room curtain.
Dana shook her butt as she sang an off-key version of the chorus of Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA.” “Larry is going to love me in this dress. I can’t wait to try it on for him. Ooh, I’d better not. He’ll rip it right off me!”
Ina wagged a finger at her daughter. “Dana Dreer Fishkill, don’t you dare get pregnant until July fifth! No matter how badly I want a grandbaby, you have to fit into that dress come the Fourth of July!” She laughed. “That goes for all of you girls. No getting pregnant until after Jane’s wedding.”
Pregnant? Could you get pregnant if your boyfriend was always away on business?
“No losing or gaining an ounce, for that matter,” Ina added.
“Aunt Ina, stop torturing my bridesmaids,” Jane called from her dressing room. “Okay, I’m coming in. Ready or not…”
As Jane walked in the room, all of our hands flew to our mouths. I immediately started to cry. Ina grabbed Jane in a tight hug.
This was a wedding gown.
“You look so beautiful!” Ina said, tears in her eyes. “Oh, would your mother be proud, Jane. If she could see you now…Oh, Jane.”
I wondered what my mother would think of me in the Big Bird gown. She had always liked the color yellow.
Jane’s gown was exquisite. Strapless, with a white ribbon across the empire waist, the white satin flowed to the floor. Her veil was long, and she wore elbow-length white gloves. There wasn’t a hint of red, white or blue anywhere.
But guess what colors her bridal bouquet would be?
“Look what I found at the drugstore when I was buying panty hose on sale,” Ina said, twirling a cheap silver garter around her index finger. “I’ll bet I can find red, white and blue garters for the Fourth of July!”
Jane, Amanda, Natasha and I shared a look of horror.
“The good news is that not one of you will be forced to line up to catch the bouquet at the wedding,” Jane said. “We’re all taken women! I’m including boyfriended Natasha.”
“Whew!” Natasha said with a wink.
“I don’t see why single women have such a problem with the bouquet toss,” Dana said, practicing her cousin-of-the-bride smile in the mirror. “I mean, if you catch it, you’re next!”
“Not every single woman is obsessed with marriage,” I pointed out.
“You’re one to talk,” Dana said. “You’re getting a free dream wedding from a major magazine. It’ll be like the entire world is coming to your wedding!”
“For three dollars and
We all stared at her. Was she kidding? Did Dana Dreer Fishkill have a sense of humor, after all?
No, she was serious. She was preening. She started singing “Living In America” (she was no James Brown) and almost fell off her platform.
“Well, at least it’s not rubber,” Amanda said, winking at me. “But it’s also not free.”
“Oh, Dana!” Ina gushed at her daughter. “You look so beautiful! How did I get so lucky? First my baby gets married to a wonderful, wealthy man, and now my Jane, my beloved niece, my late sister’s only child, is getting married. And it’s all my doing!”
It sort of was. Ina had been trying to fix up Jane with the guy who lived next door to Jane’s grandmother, but Jane figured him for a nerd, said no thanks and dated half of Manhattan to find a date for Dana’s wedding. Then she met the next-door neighbor—Ethan—at Dana’s wedding, and it was love at first sight.
“Love is so great,” Dana squealed. “When Jane was getting fitted for my wedding, she wasn’t seeing anyone. In fact, she even made up having a boyfriend to take to my wedding. Do you remember that, Jane? All that trouble you went through, trying to find Mr. Right, when my mom had the perfect guy for you all along. If only you’d listened to Mom, you’d have saved yourself a lot of trouble.”
“I like trouble,” Jane shouted from behind the dressing-room curtain.
Dana shook her butt as she sang an off-key version of the chorus of Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA.” “Larry is going to love me in this dress. I can’t wait to try it on for him. Ooh, I’d better not. He’ll rip it right off me!”
Ina wagged a finger at her daughter. “Dana Dreer Fishkill, don’t you dare get pregnant until July fifth! No matter how badly I want a grandbaby, you have to fit into that dress come the Fourth of July!” She laughed. “That goes for all of you girls. No getting pregnant until after Jane’s wedding.”
Pregnant? Could you get pregnant if your boyfriend was always away on business?
“No losing or gaining an ounce, for that matter,” Ina added.
“Aunt Ina, stop torturing my bridesmaids,” Jane called from her dressing room. “Okay, I’m coming in. Ready or not…”
As Jane walked in the room, all of our hands flew to our mouths. I immediately started to cry. Ina grabbed Jane in a tight hug.
This was a wedding gown.
“You look so beautiful!” Ina said, tears in her eyes. “Oh, would your mother be proud, Jane. If she could see you now…Oh, Jane.”
I wondered what my mother would think of me in the Big Bird gown. She had always liked the color yellow.
Jane’s gown was exquisite. Strapless, with a white ribbon across the empire waist, the white satin flowed to the floor. Her veil was long, and she wore elbow-length white gloves. There wasn’t a hint of red, white or blue anywhere.
But guess what colors her bridal bouquet would be?
“Look what I found at the drugstore when I was buying panty hose on sale,” Ina said, twirling a cheap silver garter around her index finger. “I’ll bet I can find red, white and blue garters for the Fourth of July!”
Jane, Amanda, Natasha and I shared a look of horror.
“The good news is that not one of you will be forced to line up to catch the bouquet at the wedding,” Jane said. “We’re all taken women! I’m including boyfriended Natasha.”
“Whew!” Natasha said with a wink.
“I don’t see why single women have such a problem with the bouquet toss,” Dana said, practicing her cousin-of-the-bride smile in the mirror. “I mean, if you catch it, you’re next!”
“Not every single woman is obsessed with marriage,” I pointed out.
“You’re one to talk,” Dana said. “You’re getting a free dream wedding from a major magazine. It’ll be like the entire world is coming to your wedding!”
“For three dollars and
Similar Books
