beauty
Dorothy’s ruby slippers, and
greater than her talent. (2) A
flipped her hair. Devon had
bright, talented actress who
now switched his attention
is typecast as a dumb blonde
to Janice too, and Janice,
bombshell.
Janice is definition 1.
very aware of her audience,
slowly licked her upper lip
from one side to another. She wasn’t a conventional bombshell: her nose and head were a little too big, the skin more Mediterranean than porcelain, even the hair bigger than had been currently fash-ionable until Buddies became a smash. But no one ever seemed to see Janice piece by piece. The overall effect of Janice Hairston was one of raw sexiness of the kind that caused blood pressure surges, adrenaline rushes, and, of course, “boners, silly.”
And Kirk Kelly was there too, standing a little apart from the
others; his role was as the dumb, darkly handsome, nutty room-
R o b b y
B e n s o n
8 5
mate of Rocky Brook’s character. Kirk finished off a breakfast bur-rito he’d brought with him and gave J.T. a shy, toothy smile. He seemed nervous.
There they were. All in one room. The Buddies. Kirk came over
to say hello to J.T., which made the rest of the cast members finally notice him. The rest of the Buddies then came over and greeted
their new director as if J.T. were a long-lost somebody they didn’t know but should adore.
Hmm, J.T. thought . At
least I have a good cast .
The Hollywood Dictionary
One by one the actors
took their assigned seats,
A GOOD CAST: The factor that
prompted by a sincere Wil-
makes the writers, producers,
liam. When J.T. and Ash got
and director look good.
up to stretch, the Pooleys
quickly moved their cov-
eted chairs to the spots at
the head of the table. The network babe, Debbie, whom J.T. knew from another show about twelve years earlier (when she was a secretary who still hadn’t fucked the right guy yet), also sat at the head of the table next to Lance, the studio representative, who didn’t bother to introduce himself to J.T.
There were no more chairs. More specifically, there wasn’t a
chair for the director. At the table. Where the table read took place.
Where the director should sit.
J.T. did what every good-boy director should do: he went to his boss, leaned over his shoulder, and whispered, “Where would you like me to sit?” as the other people in the room began to settle.
“Jesus fucking H. Christ. You’re our director and I’ve got to tell you where to sit?” Marcus Pooley yelled.
“Well . . .” J.T. began, very quietly. He could tell his blood pressure was over 150. “I’ll just sit over here.” J.T. awkwardly took a seat next to a child guest actor he hadn’t been introduced to yet, 8 6
W H O S T O L E T H E F U N N Y ?
then searched the room until he located Ash, who had strategically placed himself behind the writers, who looked to be barely out of their teens. If there was gossip/intelligence to be leaked, he knew it would come from this bunch. Ash nodded imperceptibly.
Marcus cleared his throat. “Stephanie and I would like to take
this moment to welcome our new director, J.T. Baker.”
Before anyone could acknowledge J.T., Stephanie stood up and
took charge. “Marcus and I would also like to pay tribute in the form of a mini-moment to our dear friend, the former director,
Jasper Jones, whose passing came as a shock to all of us,” she said, trying to act sad.
“I’m sure it came as a shock to him too,” one of the baby writ-
ers riffed. The other writers snorted and their shoulders bounced up and down in mock silence.
Lance stood up and straightened his jacket with a quick down-
ward tug, then cleared his throat. “‘Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.’ George Bernard Shaw.” Lance bowed his head for a moment to let this piece of wisdom sink in, then sat back in his chair with exaggerated care.
“And don’t forget the death of our
Dorothy’s ruby slippers, and
greater than her talent. (2) A
flipped her hair. Devon had
bright, talented actress who
now switched his attention
is typecast as a dumb blonde
to Janice too, and Janice,
bombshell.
Janice is definition 1.
very aware of her audience,
slowly licked her upper lip
from one side to another. She wasn’t a conventional bombshell: her nose and head were a little too big, the skin more Mediterranean than porcelain, even the hair bigger than had been currently fash-ionable until Buddies became a smash. But no one ever seemed to see Janice piece by piece. The overall effect of Janice Hairston was one of raw sexiness of the kind that caused blood pressure surges, adrenaline rushes, and, of course, “boners, silly.”
And Kirk Kelly was there too, standing a little apart from the
others; his role was as the dumb, darkly handsome, nutty room-
R o b b y
B e n s o n
8 5
mate of Rocky Brook’s character. Kirk finished off a breakfast bur-rito he’d brought with him and gave J.T. a shy, toothy smile. He seemed nervous.
There they were. All in one room. The Buddies. Kirk came over
to say hello to J.T., which made the rest of the cast members finally notice him. The rest of the Buddies then came over and greeted
their new director as if J.T. were a long-lost somebody they didn’t know but should adore.
Hmm, J.T. thought . At
least I have a good cast .
The Hollywood Dictionary
One by one the actors
took their assigned seats,
A GOOD CAST: The factor that
prompted by a sincere Wil-
makes the writers, producers,
liam. When J.T. and Ash got
and director look good.
up to stretch, the Pooleys
quickly moved their cov-
eted chairs to the spots at
the head of the table. The network babe, Debbie, whom J.T. knew from another show about twelve years earlier (when she was a secretary who still hadn’t fucked the right guy yet), also sat at the head of the table next to Lance, the studio representative, who didn’t bother to introduce himself to J.T.
There were no more chairs. More specifically, there wasn’t a
chair for the director. At the table. Where the table read took place.
Where the director should sit.
J.T. did what every good-boy director should do: he went to his boss, leaned over his shoulder, and whispered, “Where would you like me to sit?” as the other people in the room began to settle.
“Jesus fucking H. Christ. You’re our director and I’ve got to tell you where to sit?” Marcus Pooley yelled.
“Well . . .” J.T. began, very quietly. He could tell his blood pressure was over 150. “I’ll just sit over here.” J.T. awkwardly took a seat next to a child guest actor he hadn’t been introduced to yet, 8 6
W H O S T O L E T H E F U N N Y ?
then searched the room until he located Ash, who had strategically placed himself behind the writers, who looked to be barely out of their teens. If there was gossip/intelligence to be leaked, he knew it would come from this bunch. Ash nodded imperceptibly.
Marcus cleared his throat. “Stephanie and I would like to take
this moment to welcome our new director, J.T. Baker.”
Before anyone could acknowledge J.T., Stephanie stood up and
took charge. “Marcus and I would also like to pay tribute in the form of a mini-moment to our dear friend, the former director,
Jasper Jones, whose passing came as a shock to all of us,” she said, trying to act sad.
“I’m sure it came as a shock to him too,” one of the baby writ-
ers riffed. The other writers snorted and their shoulders bounced up and down in mock silence.
Lance stood up and straightened his jacket with a quick down-
ward tug, then cleared his throat. “‘Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.’ George Bernard Shaw.” Lance bowed his head for a moment to let this piece of wisdom sink in, then sat back in his chair with exaggerated care.
“And don’t forget the death of our
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