Who Asked You? by Terry McMillan Page B

to fill in the missing parts from every source available to me. The thing that seems to hold a lot of people back in here is they spend more time debating about the wackiest stuff when none of them know what they’re talking about because they didn’t do the research and so they can’t prove their point. I know I said that first time I was in here, but this time is different. I was young and cocky and thought I was invincible. I felt like I was entitled to things I wanted just because I wanted them. Prison has given me a Ph.D. in correcting my false sense of what I think is owed me. Nothing. I value my life more now. I’ve got two kids I don’t even know and who may not even want to know me. I’m just glad I didn’t kill anybody. I don’t suffer from that kind of anger. Rage is closer to it. Anyway, I hope you haven’t forgotten that I can build anything and fix anything.
    I also want you to know that I get A’s in all of my online law classes and I would really like to be in a position to help a lot of men like myself who got a raw deal because of our racist justice system. The problem I’m having right now is this: I need two textbooks for my law class but they cost $200, and of course I don’t have that kind of money. I was wondering if you would be willing to loan me the money until after I become gainfully employed upon my release at which time I would be more than happy to repay you with interest? The sooner you can let me know, the better, because I can’t register for the classes if I can’t afford the books.
    Did you read my letter where I told you some dudes jumped on me? For absolutely no reason I can ascertain. I had to get four stitches on my chin. I can’t begin to tell you the violence you see in prison. I have to take a shower with my shoes on just to be prepared to run should something go down and we have to move fast. Of course, the one time I was washing them, some dude got stabbed, which is how I got athlete’s foot. Things could be worse.
    When I do leave these prison walls behind me, I’m still going to bring a lawsuit against the Attorney General of the State of California for violating my constitutional rights. (I’ve enclosed all of the documents I’m going to file just so you can see that I know what I’m talking about. It makes a good case if you take the time to read through them.)
    I would like to assure you that I’ve learned that experience is the best teacher but it gives you the test first, and the lesson last. For nine years I’ve had people telling me when to wake up, when to sleep, how to sleep, how to walk, talk, and dress. They even tell me when I can study the law.
    Please send me some photos and give Daddy a hug. Until next time.
    Your loving son,
    Dexter
    P.S. I tried calling you three times last week but somebody just kept hanging up on me. Was that Daddy?

    August 15, 2001
    Dear Dexter: I just got a new computer and I can’t believe how it corrects your spelling and grammar (which I certainly could use help on) but this letter will not be brief and will take as long as it takes to make my points. First of all, I am not sending you $200 for any law books. I want to know how you think you can save other black men when you have yet to save yourself? It seems like all you guys either become black militants or Muslims when you’re in prison for a while and then it seems okay to blame all your problems on the white man and the racist justice system. This is probably why you haven’t passed your parole board tests or whatever they call it the last three or four times you’ve gone before them. It amazes me how you still haven’t taken any responsibility for what you’ve done. I’ll be glad when you stop blaming it on Buddy, but it’s not going to get you out of there. You have convinced yourself that you’re innocent after all these years, even after being caught. Don’t you think those parole folks can hear and see that based on your attitude you aren’t the