husband might have been stingy with his emotional responsibilities, but he has lived up to his financial ones. He carried all the expenses while I went back to school and got my teaching degree. Now I get to work and enjoy the same holidays as Michael. I can afford to hire a nanny who comes in and gets Michael ready for school, and is there in the afternoon when he gets home. And to top that off … are you ready for this, ladies? I met a man."
The group whooped and high-fived one another as Shelley beamed. "Yep. Just when I thought I'd grow old and gray before ever finding a man who wanted to shoulder the responsibility of a special-needs child, I meet this incredible man when I took Michael up to Rockaway Ranch. He volunteers twice a week at the ranch, helping with the horses and children. He and Michael hit if off immediately. We started seeing one another and … I'm feeling really good about this relationship. I don't have to be terrified of some joker finding out about my son and dumping me like a hot potato." She wiggled her eyebrows and added, "Did I mention he's a hunk?"
Laughter around her as Leah looked from one face to another, smiling herself, feeling any moment as if she would implode.
"Leah?"
She looked around at Shelley.
"You look as if you'd like to say something."
She opened and closed her mouth, shrugged, bit her lip.
"Are you still seeing Sam?" Dana asked.
"We have a date tonight."
"Have you introduced him yet to Val?"
"No." She shook her head.
Shelley smiled. "Have you told Sam yet about Val?"
Leah lowered her eyes. "No," she replied more softly.
"Because…?"
"Because the last time I grew fond of a man, the moment I introduced him to Val he split."
"Then obviously you've grown fond of Sam or you wouldn't worry about him taking a hike," Shelley said.
"No. Not really. He's a nice guy. It's just that … it's nice to be with a man sometimes. To go out. See a movie. Get dinner."
"Yes, but eventually you're going to want to commit yourself. To get serious."
"Not with Sam. He doesn't do that for me."
"Are you sure? Maybe you're simply afraid of falling for him too deeply. You're not going to allow yourself such freedom until you know exactly how he's going to respond to Val."
"Maybe." She shrugged. "I just think, at this stage, I haven't bothered introducing them because I don't see a future for us, regardless of Val."
Someone changed the subject, and with a sense of relief, Leah relaxed back in her chair, aware that she had refused to speak up and say what she'd come here to say. That a man she once loved with all her heart had stumbled back into her life, stirring up all the old yearnings of desire and fantasies, all the old anger and confusion over his feud with her father and how Johnny ripped her heart, not to mention her loyalties, in two and oh God she could so easily allow herself to fall for him again, despite her father, but there was Val, always Val, and while she could handle any other man turning his back on her and her son she could not handle Johnny doing it and because of that she wanted to hide Val, tuck him out of sight so for the first time in years she could grasp that fragile glass rope of happiness before she drowned drowned drowned in loneliness and self-pity.
The two hours flew by. Session over, the group met at a table cluttered with punch and cookies and brochures about coping with special-needs problems and products for special-needs children, including wheelchairs, walkers, and silverware that was crooked to facilitate eating. Leah picked up the pamphlet about the wheelchairs and studied the four-thousand-dollar price, frowning.
"Ridiculous, isn't it?" Shelley said, handing her a cookie. "When you're ready I have a friend who can get the same chair twenty percent cheaper. Will your insurance cover any of it?"
"There isn't any insurance."
Shelley rolled her eyes. "My God, how do you manage?"
"I don't." Leah smiled. "Val's outgrowing his chair like crazy. I
The group whooped and high-fived one another as Shelley beamed. "Yep. Just when I thought I'd grow old and gray before ever finding a man who wanted to shoulder the responsibility of a special-needs child, I meet this incredible man when I took Michael up to Rockaway Ranch. He volunteers twice a week at the ranch, helping with the horses and children. He and Michael hit if off immediately. We started seeing one another and … I'm feeling really good about this relationship. I don't have to be terrified of some joker finding out about my son and dumping me like a hot potato." She wiggled her eyebrows and added, "Did I mention he's a hunk?"
Laughter around her as Leah looked from one face to another, smiling herself, feeling any moment as if she would implode.
"Leah?"
She looked around at Shelley.
"You look as if you'd like to say something."
She opened and closed her mouth, shrugged, bit her lip.
"Are you still seeing Sam?" Dana asked.
"We have a date tonight."
"Have you introduced him yet to Val?"
"No." She shook her head.
Shelley smiled. "Have you told Sam yet about Val?"
Leah lowered her eyes. "No," she replied more softly.
"Because…?"
"Because the last time I grew fond of a man, the moment I introduced him to Val he split."
"Then obviously you've grown fond of Sam or you wouldn't worry about him taking a hike," Shelley said.
"No. Not really. He's a nice guy. It's just that … it's nice to be with a man sometimes. To go out. See a movie. Get dinner."
"Yes, but eventually you're going to want to commit yourself. To get serious."
"Not with Sam. He doesn't do that for me."
"Are you sure? Maybe you're simply afraid of falling for him too deeply. You're not going to allow yourself such freedom until you know exactly how he's going to respond to Val."
"Maybe." She shrugged. "I just think, at this stage, I haven't bothered introducing them because I don't see a future for us, regardless of Val."
Someone changed the subject, and with a sense of relief, Leah relaxed back in her chair, aware that she had refused to speak up and say what she'd come here to say. That a man she once loved with all her heart had stumbled back into her life, stirring up all the old yearnings of desire and fantasies, all the old anger and confusion over his feud with her father and how Johnny ripped her heart, not to mention her loyalties, in two and oh God she could so easily allow herself to fall for him again, despite her father, but there was Val, always Val, and while she could handle any other man turning his back on her and her son she could not handle Johnny doing it and because of that she wanted to hide Val, tuck him out of sight so for the first time in years she could grasp that fragile glass rope of happiness before she drowned drowned drowned in loneliness and self-pity.
The two hours flew by. Session over, the group met at a table cluttered with punch and cookies and brochures about coping with special-needs problems and products for special-needs children, including wheelchairs, walkers, and silverware that was crooked to facilitate eating. Leah picked up the pamphlet about the wheelchairs and studied the four-thousand-dollar price, frowning.
"Ridiculous, isn't it?" Shelley said, handing her a cookie. "When you're ready I have a friend who can get the same chair twenty percent cheaper. Will your insurance cover any of it?"
"There isn't any insurance."
Shelley rolled her eyes. "My God, how do you manage?"
"I don't." Leah smiled. "Val's outgrowing his chair like crazy. I
Similar Books
