Whiskey Rebellion (Romantic Mystery/Comedy) Book 1 (Addison Holmes Mysteries) by Liliana Hart Page B
Authors: Liliana Hart
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. I had trouble determining from one encounter to the next if he wanted to throttle me or kiss me. He could have a girlfriend or a dozen kids for all I knew. Nick Dempsey was a master at sending mixed signals, and I was acting like a love-puppy looking for any attention at all. Very lame. I needed to forget Nick Dempsey and move on.
“I hear you’ve got a date tomorrow night,” my mom said.
I’d forgotten about the date Kate had set up. “That’s right,” I said, not sure where this was leading.
“I’m glad you’ve finally gotten over Greg. He’ll come to regret the decisions he’s made someday. You’d have made a wonderful wife.”
I’m sure my mother said that with no prejudice whatsoever. I personally think I’d make a terrible wife. I hate to do laundry and I never have food in my refrigerator, though I can cook when meat and produce magically appear. I like to sleep in the middle of the bed and I don’t like to budget. Not very wifely at all.
“It’s just a friendly date, mom. Don’t reserve the church just yet.”
“You never know when you’re going to run into your soul mate. Just make sure you wear underwear. You don’t want your date to think you’re easy.”
I rolled my eyes, grabbed the warm-ups and headed to the bathroom. I showered under blistering water for a luxurious ten minutes, dried off and put on clean clothes—without the underwear my mother had brought for me despite my protests.
When I came back to the kitchen I was warm and in a more positive frame of mind. My mother put a hot bowl of vegetable soup in front of me and I inhaled the aroma. My mom could make soup from a can with the best of them. She sat across from me with her own bowl.
“You know, your question about me having regrets got me thinking. Did you know I spent a lot of my young adult life on buses, traveling across the country, rallying for different causes and protesting anything and everything?” Her smile was nostalgic. “I was a crusader —always ready to defend the weak and fight for a good cause. Those were the good old days. I used to be a free spirit, you know, before I met your father and decided to settle down and be an accountant.”
“So you gave up your free spirit to marr y Dad? That doesn’t sound very fair.”
“Oh, it was an adjustment for both of us. His mother hated me. Still does, the old witch. You should have seen the two of us, me in my gold platforms and your dad buttoned to his chin in that sexy uniform. I don’t have any regrets, but putting on panty-hose for twenty years was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I was completely satisfied to stay at home and work in my garden, but they didn’t pay cops much back then, and I had to go to work. Your father, rest his soul, was a tight-assed Republican, and I’d never been with someone so straight-laced when it came to issues in the bedroom, but we were a unit, your dad and I. We had good years between us.”
My mom doesn’t usually like to talk about the past, and I knew talking about my dad made her sad, but I felt like we were really having a great bonding moment. It was just the thought of anything to do with my parents and conception and bedrooms that I had trouble keeping my gag reflexes under control.
“I’m af raid there’s more of me in you and your sister than your father was hoping,” she continued. “I can at least be thankful you have a steady job and have never been to jail. Unlike Phoebe. Though you seem to have a bit of a problem with your temper. I don’t know where you get that from. I had a dozen people call me yesterday to tell me what a scene you made in the bank. I was mortified.”
“Well, John Hyatt shouldn’t have gone back on his promise,” I defended.
“You’re right about that, but a southern lady does not go around town causing scenes and stirring up gossip. A true southern lady can out manipulate General Lee when it comes to revenge. We’ll think of something. Just try to be
“I hear you’ve got a date tomorrow night,” my mom said.
I’d forgotten about the date Kate had set up. “That’s right,” I said, not sure where this was leading.
“I’m glad you’ve finally gotten over Greg. He’ll come to regret the decisions he’s made someday. You’d have made a wonderful wife.”
I’m sure my mother said that with no prejudice whatsoever. I personally think I’d make a terrible wife. I hate to do laundry and I never have food in my refrigerator, though I can cook when meat and produce magically appear. I like to sleep in the middle of the bed and I don’t like to budget. Not very wifely at all.
“It’s just a friendly date, mom. Don’t reserve the church just yet.”
“You never know when you’re going to run into your soul mate. Just make sure you wear underwear. You don’t want your date to think you’re easy.”
I rolled my eyes, grabbed the warm-ups and headed to the bathroom. I showered under blistering water for a luxurious ten minutes, dried off and put on clean clothes—without the underwear my mother had brought for me despite my protests.
When I came back to the kitchen I was warm and in a more positive frame of mind. My mother put a hot bowl of vegetable soup in front of me and I inhaled the aroma. My mom could make soup from a can with the best of them. She sat across from me with her own bowl.
“You know, your question about me having regrets got me thinking. Did you know I spent a lot of my young adult life on buses, traveling across the country, rallying for different causes and protesting anything and everything?” Her smile was nostalgic. “I was a crusader —always ready to defend the weak and fight for a good cause. Those were the good old days. I used to be a free spirit, you know, before I met your father and decided to settle down and be an accountant.”
“So you gave up your free spirit to marr y Dad? That doesn’t sound very fair.”
“Oh, it was an adjustment for both of us. His mother hated me. Still does, the old witch. You should have seen the two of us, me in my gold platforms and your dad buttoned to his chin in that sexy uniform. I don’t have any regrets, but putting on panty-hose for twenty years was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I was completely satisfied to stay at home and work in my garden, but they didn’t pay cops much back then, and I had to go to work. Your father, rest his soul, was a tight-assed Republican, and I’d never been with someone so straight-laced when it came to issues in the bedroom, but we were a unit, your dad and I. We had good years between us.”
My mom doesn’t usually like to talk about the past, and I knew talking about my dad made her sad, but I felt like we were really having a great bonding moment. It was just the thought of anything to do with my parents and conception and bedrooms that I had trouble keeping my gag reflexes under control.
“I’m af raid there’s more of me in you and your sister than your father was hoping,” she continued. “I can at least be thankful you have a steady job and have never been to jail. Unlike Phoebe. Though you seem to have a bit of a problem with your temper. I don’t know where you get that from. I had a dozen people call me yesterday to tell me what a scene you made in the bank. I was mortified.”
“Well, John Hyatt shouldn’t have gone back on his promise,” I defended.
“You’re right about that, but a southern lady does not go around town causing scenes and stirring up gossip. A true southern lady can out manipulate General Lee when it comes to revenge. We’ll think of something. Just try to be
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