Wherever the Dandelion Falls by Lily R. Mason Page B

to talk about it." Then I shut myself in the bathroom and took a long shower, trying to scrub the awfulness off me. I didn't feel dirty, but I didn't want any reminders of Vance on me. Afterwards I sealed myself in my room and burrowed deep into my bed, hoping it would swallow me up.
    That's when the tears came. They leaked down the creases of my eyes into the pillow, puddling and refusing to dry.
    I was relieved Justine let me be. I lay in bed long enough for the light to shift to where it shone in a narrow strip right onto my face, almost blinding me as my tears magnified the light.
    A soft knock sounded. When I didn't respond, Justine knocked again. When I still didn't respond, she said softly, "Can I come in?"
    "Okay," I mumbled, wiping my face. I knew she would be able to see I was crying, but I didn't want to look too awful.
    She walked in, footsteps cautious and slow as something rattled in her hand. I could see in my closet mirror she was holding a plate and a steaming mug with a spoon sticking out of it.
    "I thought you might be hungry," she said in an unusually gentle voice. She put the dishes on my desk and sat at the foot of my bed. After a long moment of silence, she put her hand on my feet and asked, "What happened?"
    "Nothing," I mumbled. "I'm just stupid."
    She frowned, unaccustomed to hearing me talk so negatively about myself.
    "Did Vance do anything you didn't want him to?" she asked, her voice tinged with protectiveness.
    I shook my head, feeling like my brain was rattling in my head from crying. She was asking if I'd been coerced or raped, which I hadn't. I'd consented to everything. And yet I still felt like something had been taken from me.
    Justine let out a small sigh of relief. There was a long moment of silence as she looked around the room, not wanting to leave me alone, but not knowing what to say given my unresponsiveness. So I caved.
    "When I woke up this morning, he and his suitcase were gone," I said.
    Her face fell in a look of dramatic sympathy. "Oh, honey..." she said.
    I bit my lip as I felt it start to tremble. Then, feeling too many tears pushing forward to be held back, I covered my face with the edge of the comforter and cried.
    "I shouldn't have thrown myself at him like that," I blubbered, shoulders jerking as I started to sob.
    "Riley...," Justine cooed. "You didn't do anything wrong. He's the asshole for not seeing you're worth having breakfast with. Don't let him make you feel bad."
    I scrunched the comforter over my eyes to absorb the heat that was spreading through my face.
    "It was too soon!" I insisted. "I might as well have suggested baby names or honeymoon locations."
    "He wanted to sleep with you too, babe," she assured. "If he's not man enough to face you afterwards, fuck him."
    "I did fuck him," I cringed, wanting to laugh, but coming up short.
    Justine patted my feet and said, "Was it good?"
    I let out a gasp of hopeless frustration. "That's not the point."
    Feeling too overwhelmed and upset to continue talking about Vance, my thoughts drifted to my first boyfriend Damon and how we'd spent our weekend mornings. Thinking about that made me remember how something had always been a little empty in my chest since.
    Crushing loneliness creeped up my chest into my face and I shuddered, trying to stave off more sobs. But it didn't work.
    "I feel like I'll never be loved again," I squeaked, letting another wave of crying rattle through me.
    "Riley," Justine said, lowering the pitch of her voice. She paused, squeezing my leg through my blankets. "Look at me."
    She waited until I pulled the covers down far enough for her to see me.
    "You're crazy," she said. "And I mean that in the best possible way. You're crazy because you don't see everything you have to offer."
    I rolled my eyes, unable to believe I was sexy. Vance had seen me at my sexiest and decided to pass.
    Justine gave my leg an extra squeeze. "Someday someone wonderful will be overwhelmed by how much you love them."
    My