When Reason Breaks by Cindy L. Rodriguez Page B

grin.
    â€œMaybe, but this isn’t about me. It’s about you. Tell them. Get it over with, Delgado.”
    Emily shook her head and hugged the book to her chest. “Tell them what?”
    Elizabeth stared at Emily. They were quiet, listening to voices in the hallway and the music pounding below them, so loud the floorboards vibrated.
    Elizabeth sprang forward from her sitting position and crawled the few feet that separated her from Emily. She kneeled and sat back on her heels.
    â€œLook at me,” she whispered. Emily pushed her back into the wall and locked gazes with Elizabeth.
    Elizabeth scanned Emily’s face and then framed the girl’s eyes with her fingers.
    â€œAh, there it is,” said Elizabeth.
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œHold still.” Elizabeth pressed down her index finger, closed her eyes, and said, “Click.”
    â€œWhat are you doing?” asked Emily.
    â€œI’m taking a mental picture of you.” Elizabeth leaned in closer. Emily inhaled sharply.
    â€œI
see
you, Emily Delgado,” she whispered. “Your problem isn’t really about your friends or Kevin or your dad. You try to hide it, but I know.” Elizabeth patted Emily’s leg. “Trust me, I know.”
    â€œYou’re drunk.”
    â€œMaybe, but you know what I mean.” Elizabeth popped up to her feet, crossed the room to her previous spot, and grabbed her cup. She sucked hard on the straw and shook the empty cup. “And now I really do need to find the bathroom.” She walked toward the door and half turned back to Emily.
    â€œI know we’re not friends or anything, but if you want to hang with Kevin at lunch, you can sit with us. I’ll warn you, though. I’ve been told I’m hard to love. Being close to me is kind of like cuddling up with a rattlesnake. You take your chances.”
    Before Emily could respond, Elizabeth was gone.
    Emily stayed in the room until her eyes couldn’t take any more reading in the near-dark. When she found Abby and Sarah, they smiled and continued to talk with the peoplearound them. They didn’t ask her where she had been. When Kevin spotted her, he swept her up in a bear hug and gave her a kiss. Emily gulped her beer in dark corners and clung to Kevin for the rest of the night, burying her face in his chest whenever people posed for pictures.
    Finally, Abby and Sarah wanted to leave. As they waited outside for Abby’s older brother to pick them up, they popped gum into their mouths to hide the smell of alcohol. Emily stared at the concrete, trying to stop her world from spinning.
    â€œDid you have fun?” Abby asked.
    â€œYeah,” she lied.
    During the ride home and while she lay in bed, Emily mentally replayed the conversation she had with Elizabeth in the dark room until she fell asleep or passed out—she wasn’t sure which.
    The next morning, Emily woke up early to go to church with her family. A sharp pain ran through her head. The smells of breakfast turned her stomach, so she passed.
    Sitting in the pew, Emily couldn’t concentrate. Parts of her felt restless, but her limbs and head were heavy. The priest’s words were like needles stabbing through her nausea. He preached about Jacob wrestling with God through the night. About struggles and unshaken faith and not giving up even though he was injured.
    Emily looked at Mamá and Pop and thought about her friends and Kevin. Like Jacob, they all had struggles, but none of them had faced a major tragedy. She watched the news. Compared to others, her life and her problems were prettyordinary. So why did it all
feel
like she was in an epic battle? Why did every snarky remark become a festering wound? Why did she always feel like she was pinned to the mat and crushed under their weight? Why wasn’t she as strong as Jacob?
    After the sermon, Emily concentrated on her footing while walking down the aisle for Holy Communion. The host stuck