she’d lost. His kiss forced her to realize that her life with Culbertson would be filled with the granting of every earthly request, yet remain devoid of the passion she could share with Gabriel.
She pushed herself away from the bookcase and pressed her hands to her burning cheeks. She fought the self-loathing that consumed her. She still loved him. No matter how hard she tried not to, she still loved the man who’d given her up when he discovered she wouldn’t come with a dowry.
She touched her fingers to her lips. She could still feel the touch of his lips against hers. Could still feel his arms holding her, his hands touching her.
God help her. When would it go away? When would she wake up without Gabriel being her first thought? Or go to bed without him being her last? When would she fall asleep without being consumed by dreams of him? When would she—
"Are you ready, Lydia?"
She caught her startled gasp and turned around. Harrison stood in the doorway dressed in his finest. He was such a handsome man that she was confused as to why he hadn’t picked out a wife. It wasn’t for lack of eligible females throwing themselves at him.
"Yes, I was just..."
"I know," he answered when she didn’t finish and she knew he was aware of whom she’d been thinking.
He took one step into the room and stopped. "He’s fine, Liddy."
She put on a bored expression and prayed her brother couldn’t tell how rapidly her heart was beating. "Of course, he is. Why wouldn’t he be?" She brushed at an imaginary wrinkle on her gown. "Have you heard from him?"
"I dropped by the flat where he’s staying to see if he needed anything."
"Did he?"
Harrison shook his head and closed the door behind him. They were alone now and she knew what Harrison was going to say before he started.
"You have to forget him, Liddy."
She put as sincere a smile on her face as she could. "I have. I’m just curious. I wasn’t sure he was ready to be on his own when he left."
Her brother walked across the room and stopped before the blazing fireplace. He braced his outstretched hands against the mantel and stared into the fire. "Chisolmwood came to see me today. He wants to formally announce your engagement." He took a deep breath and turned to face her. "I think that’s wise."
She felt her cheeks warm but refused to back down from her brother’s intense gaze. "We will," she said with a smile on her face. "We just haven’t discussed that. I’m sure that in time—"
"Time isn’t your friend. It won’t change anything."
"I don’t know what you’re talking about. Why do you think I want anything to change?"
He narrowed his gaze. "Gabe will never ask you to marry him. He can’t. Father signed the papers betrothing you to the Marquess of Culbertson. There’s nothing you can do to change that without causing a scandal."
Her heart plummeted to the pit of her stomach. "That was cruel, Harrison."
"I’m sorry. It wasn’t meant to be cruel. I meant it in the kindest way possible."
"Then you don’t need to worry. I don’t want to marry Major Talbot, and he doesn’t want to marry me. He made that quite clear a year ago." She walked toward the door. "Now, if you’re done explaining my duty, I think we’d better go. The Biltmore Ball is guaranteed to be a lavish affair and the crowd will be impossible if we’re late."
Harrison crossed the room and opened the door for her. She silently walked through the foyer to where Hannah and their butler waited with their cloaks. The weather had turned colder this week but it wouldn’t be long until spring.
She pulled her red velvet cloak closer around her neck to ease the heavy weight that pressed down on her. A painful breath stabbed inside her chest. Harrison was right. Thinking about Gabe didn’t help her. In fact, it hurt her.
"Perhaps if Geoffery is there tonight," she said as the carriage rumbled over London’s cobblestone streets, "the subject of our betrothal will come up."
Harrison
She pushed herself away from the bookcase and pressed her hands to her burning cheeks. She fought the self-loathing that consumed her. She still loved him. No matter how hard she tried not to, she still loved the man who’d given her up when he discovered she wouldn’t come with a dowry.
She touched her fingers to her lips. She could still feel the touch of his lips against hers. Could still feel his arms holding her, his hands touching her.
God help her. When would it go away? When would she wake up without Gabriel being her first thought? Or go to bed without him being her last? When would she fall asleep without being consumed by dreams of him? When would she—
"Are you ready, Lydia?"
She caught her startled gasp and turned around. Harrison stood in the doorway dressed in his finest. He was such a handsome man that she was confused as to why he hadn’t picked out a wife. It wasn’t for lack of eligible females throwing themselves at him.
"Yes, I was just..."
"I know," he answered when she didn’t finish and she knew he was aware of whom she’d been thinking.
He took one step into the room and stopped. "He’s fine, Liddy."
She put on a bored expression and prayed her brother couldn’t tell how rapidly her heart was beating. "Of course, he is. Why wouldn’t he be?" She brushed at an imaginary wrinkle on her gown. "Have you heard from him?"
"I dropped by the flat where he’s staying to see if he needed anything."
"Did he?"
Harrison shook his head and closed the door behind him. They were alone now and she knew what Harrison was going to say before he started.
"You have to forget him, Liddy."
She put as sincere a smile on her face as she could. "I have. I’m just curious. I wasn’t sure he was ready to be on his own when he left."
Her brother walked across the room and stopped before the blazing fireplace. He braced his outstretched hands against the mantel and stared into the fire. "Chisolmwood came to see me today. He wants to formally announce your engagement." He took a deep breath and turned to face her. "I think that’s wise."
She felt her cheeks warm but refused to back down from her brother’s intense gaze. "We will," she said with a smile on her face. "We just haven’t discussed that. I’m sure that in time—"
"Time isn’t your friend. It won’t change anything."
"I don’t know what you’re talking about. Why do you think I want anything to change?"
He narrowed his gaze. "Gabe will never ask you to marry him. He can’t. Father signed the papers betrothing you to the Marquess of Culbertson. There’s nothing you can do to change that without causing a scandal."
Her heart plummeted to the pit of her stomach. "That was cruel, Harrison."
"I’m sorry. It wasn’t meant to be cruel. I meant it in the kindest way possible."
"Then you don’t need to worry. I don’t want to marry Major Talbot, and he doesn’t want to marry me. He made that quite clear a year ago." She walked toward the door. "Now, if you’re done explaining my duty, I think we’d better go. The Biltmore Ball is guaranteed to be a lavish affair and the crowd will be impossible if we’re late."
Harrison crossed the room and opened the door for her. She silently walked through the foyer to where Hannah and their butler waited with their cloaks. The weather had turned colder this week but it wouldn’t be long until spring.
She pulled her red velvet cloak closer around her neck to ease the heavy weight that pressed down on her. A painful breath stabbed inside her chest. Harrison was right. Thinking about Gabe didn’t help her. In fact, it hurt her.
"Perhaps if Geoffery is there tonight," she said as the carriage rumbled over London’s cobblestone streets, "the subject of our betrothal will come up."
Harrison
Similar Books
