about everyone ?” Dan said.
“Don’t use that word,” Cora scolded her son. Sometimes she felt like that was all she ever did, scold and chide, but she’d always been the first to rise up in her brother’s defen s e—her sister’s defen s e. “Your Aunt Farrah is a male-to-female transsexual, and she doesn’t want to be known as Ralph anymore, so we’re not going to call him Ralph anymore. Capisce, kids?”
Joey couldn’t seem to unglue his gaze from that damn machine for even two seconds. “Hey, you saw him at Great-Aunt Geraldine’s funeral, didn’t you Dad? What did he look like as a chick?”
“What did she look like?” Cora corrected. And then, almost as an afterthought, she added, “As a woman .”
Cora braced herself.
But Dan said, “Good. Really good.”
Of cou r se, just when Cora was about to lean in and kiss her husband on the cheek, he had to go one step further and say, “I’d trade him for your mother in a heartbeat.”
Cora slapped his thigh again, but smiled. “You’d trade her for me.”
“Not really.” Dan turned his gaze to her, a soppy grin plastered across his lips. “I wouldn’t trade you for the world.”
Though her heart skipped and her belly flopped, Cora bit her lip and shook her head. “Keep your eyes on the road.”
“You’re just too good to be true,” he sang at her. “Can’t take my eyes off of you.”
“Gross,” Vanessa moaned.
For once in his life, Joey agreed with his sister. “Yeah, seriously! Get a room.”
“We have a room,” Cora shot back. She finally had a zinger. “Unfortunately we have to share it with our two ungrateful children.”
In the backseat, Vanessa slipped off her hoodie and curled it into a pillow, resting it between her head and the car window. “Why couldn’t we get a suite? There’s no way I’m sharing a bed with Jerkasaurus Rex over here.”
Cora shuffled through the glove compartment, searching for the hotel booklet. “Joey will be sleeping on the pull-out couch. Your father and I will have one Queen-size bed, and you will have the other, Ness.”
“Why can’t Vanessa sleep on the couch?” Joey asked, though he seemed to say the words by rote, like they were expected of him.
“You fall asleep on the couch at home five nights a week, Joe.” Dan yielded for the first spot of traffic they’d seen in almost an hour. “You can take the pull-out.”
“Anyway, it’s just sleeping arrangements.” Cora flipped through the pamphlet f r om Maggie’s wedding resort. She turned to show the kids all the glossy pictures, as though they were little again and it was a storybook. “Look at everything we can do at this resort. There’s a spa for the women, golfing for the men…”
“Why?” Vanessa bellowed. Her absent voice was so suddenly huge it made Cora cringe. “Why spa for women, golf for men? What if I don’t want to go to a goddamn spa? What if dad doesn’t want to waste his day dicking around a stupid golf course? It’s all so fucking arbitrary. You’ve got a cock you do this, you’ve got a pussy you do that. I’m so sick of this world.”
Joey muttered something about lesbian feminists, and Cora didn’t want to agree with him, but she couldn’t help herself, internally. The most she could say out loud was, “Honey, watch your language.”
That moment of searing emotional intensity expanded into eternity, and Cora would have given anything to just open the door and roll out of the vehicle while it was still in motion. She could scarcely breathe in the midst of her daughter’s seething.
As much as she loved her kids, she always felt at odds with them. Always. But Dan had this incredible capacity to bridge any gap. He said, “I agree with you, Vanessa. Hell, I’d rather get a pedicure than go golfing.”
Vanessa smiled
“Don’t use that word,” Cora scolded her son. Sometimes she felt like that was all she ever did, scold and chide, but she’d always been the first to rise up in her brother’s defen s e—her sister’s defen s e. “Your Aunt Farrah is a male-to-female transsexual, and she doesn’t want to be known as Ralph anymore, so we’re not going to call him Ralph anymore. Capisce, kids?”
Joey couldn’t seem to unglue his gaze from that damn machine for even two seconds. “Hey, you saw him at Great-Aunt Geraldine’s funeral, didn’t you Dad? What did he look like as a chick?”
“What did she look like?” Cora corrected. And then, almost as an afterthought, she added, “As a woman .”
Cora braced herself.
But Dan said, “Good. Really good.”
Of cou r se, just when Cora was about to lean in and kiss her husband on the cheek, he had to go one step further and say, “I’d trade him for your mother in a heartbeat.”
Cora slapped his thigh again, but smiled. “You’d trade her for me.”
“Not really.” Dan turned his gaze to her, a soppy grin plastered across his lips. “I wouldn’t trade you for the world.”
Though her heart skipped and her belly flopped, Cora bit her lip and shook her head. “Keep your eyes on the road.”
“You’re just too good to be true,” he sang at her. “Can’t take my eyes off of you.”
“Gross,” Vanessa moaned.
For once in his life, Joey agreed with his sister. “Yeah, seriously! Get a room.”
“We have a room,” Cora shot back. She finally had a zinger. “Unfortunately we have to share it with our two ungrateful children.”
In the backseat, Vanessa slipped off her hoodie and curled it into a pillow, resting it between her head and the car window. “Why couldn’t we get a suite? There’s no way I’m sharing a bed with Jerkasaurus Rex over here.”
Cora shuffled through the glove compartment, searching for the hotel booklet. “Joey will be sleeping on the pull-out couch. Your father and I will have one Queen-size bed, and you will have the other, Ness.”
“Why can’t Vanessa sleep on the couch?” Joey asked, though he seemed to say the words by rote, like they were expected of him.
“You fall asleep on the couch at home five nights a week, Joe.” Dan yielded for the first spot of traffic they’d seen in almost an hour. “You can take the pull-out.”
“Anyway, it’s just sleeping arrangements.” Cora flipped through the pamphlet f r om Maggie’s wedding resort. She turned to show the kids all the glossy pictures, as though they were little again and it was a storybook. “Look at everything we can do at this resort. There’s a spa for the women, golfing for the men…”
“Why?” Vanessa bellowed. Her absent voice was so suddenly huge it made Cora cringe. “Why spa for women, golf for men? What if I don’t want to go to a goddamn spa? What if dad doesn’t want to waste his day dicking around a stupid golf course? It’s all so fucking arbitrary. You’ve got a cock you do this, you’ve got a pussy you do that. I’m so sick of this world.”
Joey muttered something about lesbian feminists, and Cora didn’t want to agree with him, but she couldn’t help herself, internally. The most she could say out loud was, “Honey, watch your language.”
That moment of searing emotional intensity expanded into eternity, and Cora would have given anything to just open the door and roll out of the vehicle while it was still in motion. She could scarcely breathe in the midst of her daughter’s seething.
As much as she loved her kids, she always felt at odds with them. Always. But Dan had this incredible capacity to bridge any gap. He said, “I agree with you, Vanessa. Hell, I’d rather get a pedicure than go golfing.”
Vanessa smiled
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