have you not?”
Alwenna nodded, slowly. “Tell me more about them – please. I know this is important.”
“You finish telling me about Tresilian – for that is equally important – then I shall tell you what you wish to know. You say you saw Tresilian’s father among the grey brethren?”
Alwenna nodded, trying to recall the point she’d reached in her tale. “I only caught a glimpse. There were several of them, all wearing grey. And there was something in his expression – I just knew. It, he, was… wrong. Unnatural. When I first saw Tresilian he looked just as he had ever been. He was standing with the light behind him but I recognised him… No one had warned me he was alive. I’d seen his death in a vision, and until that moment I’d begun to believe the visions I saw were true. And of course, later, I discovered it had been true: I witnessed his death. I have no idea what they must have done to him, although I saw many times visions of him with that… priestess, and…”
“The healing.”
“Why, yes. I was told it was called that.”
“The rite they perform – it’s a form of sacrifice. Every part of the process is in the nature of a sacrifice of one kind or another.”
Alwenna, startled, looked at Jenna. “You know of the rites they perform?”
“It is an ancient magic. Not well understood today and, of course, forbidden in precincts throughout the Peninsula and beyond. For very good reason.”
“Forbidden?”
“On pain of death. I imagine you can tell me why.”
“Tresilian… He looked the same. At first, anyway. But his nature was changed. He was no longer the kind and patient man…”
“Might that have been your doing?”
“Who can be sure? I’m sure some will say so.”
“But you would not agree with them?”
“No. I’d believed my husband dead for weeks.” She did not need to justify her behaviour. She would not, not ever. “It ran deeper than that – everything about him was tainted, corrupted. When he had me touch the mortal wound, it had healed over, but it was… I can’t explain it… Just wrong. Every instinct revolted.”
Jenna nodded. “I understand. I, too, once lost someone dear to the grey brethren. When I discovered what had happened, I fled the place. I did not have the courage to stand and face him, as you did.”
“Oh, I tried to run, but… Marten brought me back. As if he still believed Tresilian might honour his word.”
Jenna nodded again. “Yes, he told me of that. You must appreciate how many years Marten spent working for that moment. He still hoped Tresilian might be convinced to keep his part of the bargain. Or he wanted to hope that. You can trust him, you know – you are his best chance of gaining what he has sought for his people all these years.”
“I do not trust readily now.”
“No. The things you have witnessed – it is, I suppose, possible that you might remain unchanged.”
“Me? No. I’ve changed. I carry a block of lead where my heart once was.”
“Then you will guard that heart with extreme care, I imagine. But I think you are not so cold a person as you would have the rest of us believe.”
How to answer that? This was not Wynne she was speaking to, this was a stranger and Alwenna already felt she’d revealed too much. She’d balked against the lessons that outward appearances meant everything for royalty, but all those tutors at court had shaped her nonetheless.
“This is all by the by – what is done cannot be changed. Would you learn more of that soldier’s fate?”
Of course Jenna had known the truth. She must have known it all along.
“I would. I owe him my life.”
“Very well.” The slightest raising of an eyebrow suggested the elder was not convinced by Alwenna’s justification. “When the time is right, you will wish to seek out the outcasts who dwell in the mountains to the north. I am known to them: mention my name and they will receive you.”
“When the time is right? What does
Alwenna nodded, slowly. “Tell me more about them – please. I know this is important.”
“You finish telling me about Tresilian – for that is equally important – then I shall tell you what you wish to know. You say you saw Tresilian’s father among the grey brethren?”
Alwenna nodded, trying to recall the point she’d reached in her tale. “I only caught a glimpse. There were several of them, all wearing grey. And there was something in his expression – I just knew. It, he, was… wrong. Unnatural. When I first saw Tresilian he looked just as he had ever been. He was standing with the light behind him but I recognised him… No one had warned me he was alive. I’d seen his death in a vision, and until that moment I’d begun to believe the visions I saw were true. And of course, later, I discovered it had been true: I witnessed his death. I have no idea what they must have done to him, although I saw many times visions of him with that… priestess, and…”
“The healing.”
“Why, yes. I was told it was called that.”
“The rite they perform – it’s a form of sacrifice. Every part of the process is in the nature of a sacrifice of one kind or another.”
Alwenna, startled, looked at Jenna. “You know of the rites they perform?”
“It is an ancient magic. Not well understood today and, of course, forbidden in precincts throughout the Peninsula and beyond. For very good reason.”
“Forbidden?”
“On pain of death. I imagine you can tell me why.”
“Tresilian… He looked the same. At first, anyway. But his nature was changed. He was no longer the kind and patient man…”
“Might that have been your doing?”
“Who can be sure? I’m sure some will say so.”
“But you would not agree with them?”
“No. I’d believed my husband dead for weeks.” She did not need to justify her behaviour. She would not, not ever. “It ran deeper than that – everything about him was tainted, corrupted. When he had me touch the mortal wound, it had healed over, but it was… I can’t explain it… Just wrong. Every instinct revolted.”
Jenna nodded. “I understand. I, too, once lost someone dear to the grey brethren. When I discovered what had happened, I fled the place. I did not have the courage to stand and face him, as you did.”
“Oh, I tried to run, but… Marten brought me back. As if he still believed Tresilian might honour his word.”
Jenna nodded again. “Yes, he told me of that. You must appreciate how many years Marten spent working for that moment. He still hoped Tresilian might be convinced to keep his part of the bargain. Or he wanted to hope that. You can trust him, you know – you are his best chance of gaining what he has sought for his people all these years.”
“I do not trust readily now.”
“No. The things you have witnessed – it is, I suppose, possible that you might remain unchanged.”
“Me? No. I’ve changed. I carry a block of lead where my heart once was.”
“Then you will guard that heart with extreme care, I imagine. But I think you are not so cold a person as you would have the rest of us believe.”
How to answer that? This was not Wynne she was speaking to, this was a stranger and Alwenna already felt she’d revealed too much. She’d balked against the lessons that outward appearances meant everything for royalty, but all those tutors at court had shaped her nonetheless.
“This is all by the by – what is done cannot be changed. Would you learn more of that soldier’s fate?”
Of course Jenna had known the truth. She must have known it all along.
“I would. I owe him my life.”
“Very well.” The slightest raising of an eyebrow suggested the elder was not convinced by Alwenna’s justification. “When the time is right, you will wish to seek out the outcasts who dwell in the mountains to the north. I am known to them: mention my name and they will receive you.”
“When the time is right? What does
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