the valet. The crush of people, all pointing cameras and shouting at me, closed in.
Dane appeared at my elbow. “People! Out of our way!”
He took my arm and, like a hot knife through butter, slid me through the crowd.
“Impressive.”
“Rescuing damsels in distress is one of my many talents.” He gave a low bow as he opened the front door and invited me through.
People packed the lobby—nomads seeking an oasis of cool air. The lines at registration, easily twenty deep, snaked across the vast expanse. People shifted from foot to foot, but waited patiently in the conditioned air. Cocktail waitresses worked the captive crowd, which I’m sure added to their good humor. Reporters, followed bymen shouldering television cameras, who in turn were trailed by minions working the cables, trolled for somebody “important.”
I took one look at the swarm in front of the elevators and headed toward the stairs.
“What is all of this?”
“Welcome to Hell Week.” I threw my weight against the stairwell door.
“Hell Week?”
“Let me fill you in on what you missed by skipping out on the security briefing this morning. This is the week that the entire porn industry descends on Vegas for their annual awards banquet—sort of the Oscars of adult film. The banquet alone seats thirty-five hundred. Add a couple thousand more fans who couldn’t score a ticket to the main event. On top of that, ElectroniCon starts tomorrow.” I took the stairs two at a time.
“ElectroniCon?” Dane matched my pace.
“The high-tech industry’s annual gathering. Picture a hundred thousand geeks gone wild.”
“Whoa.”
“That’s just the beginning. In addition to the awards banquet, there is a trade show. Every manufacturer, distributor, and purveyor of dildos, sex toys, vibrators and herbal sexual enhancements will be here. The film stars hawk the products. The geeks come to gawk.” We hit the door to the mezzanine. “If that wasn’t enough, this is the week the Trendmakers hold their annual confab of spouse swapping. All the regular shows in town go dark; X-rated shows replace them.”
Dane and I paused at the railing. Below us teemed the controlled chaos in the lobby.
I bent over to catch my breath, then straightened. “This”—I swept my arm toward the crowd below—“is only the beginning.”
“Damn.”
I was glad to see Dane struggling to catch his breath as well. “Don’t expect to get much sleep, but now I gotta go. I’m already acouple of minutes late for an appointment and I’ve left Miss Patterson holding the bag too long already. If she quits on me, I’m screwed.”
“Thanks for lunch—both of them. It’s been a most enlightening day.”
“Sure. Keep looking for Willie, would you?”
“Your wish is my command.” Dane started to go, then paused. “Say, you wouldn’t want me to see if I can score a couple of tickets for us to the porno awards, would you? As I recall, I owe you a dinner.”
“A dinner of
my
choice, I believe. And, you’re too late. I’m sitting at the head table with Subway Jones, the porn industry’s biggest star.” I held up my hand, silencing him as he opened his mouth to speak. “I didn’t make that up, and no, I can’t attest to the truth of the statement—at least not from personal experience.”
“I
know
you’re shittin’ me now.”
“Trust me,” I said. “The dinner is the highlight of the whole week. I wouldn’t miss it.”
“How’d you get so lucky?”
“I wish I could say it was my innate beauty and captivating charm, but the hotel buys a lot of adult films for the in-house movie channels. It’s my job to vet them all—wouldn’t want to offend anyone’s sensibilities now, would we?”
“So you
do
watch those movies.” Dane’s eyes lit with mischief.
“Actually, I take Smokin’ Joe’s advice. There are just so many hours in the day.” I started down the hall toward my office.
“Wait.” Dane stopped me. “I know I’m going regret
Dane appeared at my elbow. “People! Out of our way!”
He took my arm and, like a hot knife through butter, slid me through the crowd.
“Impressive.”
“Rescuing damsels in distress is one of my many talents.” He gave a low bow as he opened the front door and invited me through.
People packed the lobby—nomads seeking an oasis of cool air. The lines at registration, easily twenty deep, snaked across the vast expanse. People shifted from foot to foot, but waited patiently in the conditioned air. Cocktail waitresses worked the captive crowd, which I’m sure added to their good humor. Reporters, followed bymen shouldering television cameras, who in turn were trailed by minions working the cables, trolled for somebody “important.”
I took one look at the swarm in front of the elevators and headed toward the stairs.
“What is all of this?”
“Welcome to Hell Week.” I threw my weight against the stairwell door.
“Hell Week?”
“Let me fill you in on what you missed by skipping out on the security briefing this morning. This is the week that the entire porn industry descends on Vegas for their annual awards banquet—sort of the Oscars of adult film. The banquet alone seats thirty-five hundred. Add a couple thousand more fans who couldn’t score a ticket to the main event. On top of that, ElectroniCon starts tomorrow.” I took the stairs two at a time.
“ElectroniCon?” Dane matched my pace.
“The high-tech industry’s annual gathering. Picture a hundred thousand geeks gone wild.”
“Whoa.”
“That’s just the beginning. In addition to the awards banquet, there is a trade show. Every manufacturer, distributor, and purveyor of dildos, sex toys, vibrators and herbal sexual enhancements will be here. The film stars hawk the products. The geeks come to gawk.” We hit the door to the mezzanine. “If that wasn’t enough, this is the week the Trendmakers hold their annual confab of spouse swapping. All the regular shows in town go dark; X-rated shows replace them.”
Dane and I paused at the railing. Below us teemed the controlled chaos in the lobby.
I bent over to catch my breath, then straightened. “This”—I swept my arm toward the crowd below—“is only the beginning.”
“Damn.”
I was glad to see Dane struggling to catch his breath as well. “Don’t expect to get much sleep, but now I gotta go. I’m already acouple of minutes late for an appointment and I’ve left Miss Patterson holding the bag too long already. If she quits on me, I’m screwed.”
“Thanks for lunch—both of them. It’s been a most enlightening day.”
“Sure. Keep looking for Willie, would you?”
“Your wish is my command.” Dane started to go, then paused. “Say, you wouldn’t want me to see if I can score a couple of tickets for us to the porno awards, would you? As I recall, I owe you a dinner.”
“A dinner of
my
choice, I believe. And, you’re too late. I’m sitting at the head table with Subway Jones, the porn industry’s biggest star.” I held up my hand, silencing him as he opened his mouth to speak. “I didn’t make that up, and no, I can’t attest to the truth of the statement—at least not from personal experience.”
“I
know
you’re shittin’ me now.”
“Trust me,” I said. “The dinner is the highlight of the whole week. I wouldn’t miss it.”
“How’d you get so lucky?”
“I wish I could say it was my innate beauty and captivating charm, but the hotel buys a lot of adult films for the in-house movie channels. It’s my job to vet them all—wouldn’t want to offend anyone’s sensibilities now, would we?”
“So you
do
watch those movies.” Dane’s eyes lit with mischief.
“Actually, I take Smokin’ Joe’s advice. There are just so many hours in the day.” I started down the hall toward my office.
“Wait.” Dane stopped me. “I know I’m going regret
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