awful. But he wasn’t really. It was a
struggle for him as much as I had struggled to be a good little
girl in that house. A role we had to fill to keep someone else
happy, except what made him think he should be this way? Someone,
somewhere had forged Hunter in fire and although it didn’t absolve
him of his sins, I was more than ever curious about who.
Droplets hung on his eyelashes, on the
coarse, stubble-covered skin of his face.
Just enjoy this.
I leaned forward and kissed him—right
on his nose. A little silly maybe, but he didn’t laugh. He looked
startled first, then his eyes darkened. He held me still, steadily
kicking to keep us afloat. But he made no move to pull away or to
initiate another kiss. Just holding steady for my exploration, if I
wished to continue, and I did.
His eyelids, his forehead, the rough
cheeks and much softer lips. I stayed there, sending small kisses
along his mouth, from one corner to the other and then back again.
It was a thank you for bringing me here, for convincing me to do
this. More than that, the jump had given me permission to do this
thing I’d wanted, to kiss a beautiful man who held me. One who
seemed to want me but was unable to express it except in the
harshest of ways.
“ What next?” I whispered,
expecting him to do something obscene and maybe painful. For the
first time, I thought I’d welcome it. It was crazy, but so was
this.
His lips curved knowingly, as if he
guessed the direction of my thoughts.
He raised his eyebrow. “Wanna jump
again?”
And I did. We jumped five more times
until we were both exhausted from the swimming and the climb. Still
in our wet clothes, we sprawled out under a tree at the base of the
waterfall, letting the steady hum of it lull us into a
half-sleep.
“ One question,” he
murmured. “I see them in your eyes all the time. I’ll answer one
question.”
A million sprang to
mind. What made you this way? When will
you let me go? But one stood
out.
“ How many others?” I
asked.
Beside me, he tensed.
Minutes passed and lengthened. I might
have drifted off and then returned.
Finally he said, “You were the first.
The only one.”
I sat up. “What about your
conviction?”
“ You asked me once if I
did it. I didn’t.” He shrugged where he lay, eyes on the sky.
“Believe me or not. It’s your choice.”
I had no reason to believe him, and we
both knew it. A court of law had found him guilty. And I knew how
he’d been with me, so it stood to reason he could have done this to
another girl—countless girls. Sometimes that bothered me more than
what he’d done to me. I really had nowhere better to be. I was
already broken in countless ways. And after today? I felt a strange
and twisted kind of gratitude for what he’d done. But to imagine
another girl made helpless turned my stomach.
And he said it had never happened. I
was the first. I was the only.
I believed him.
He laughed, so bitterly that goose
bumps raised on my chilled skin. “I told myself I was getting what
I’d already paid for. They locked me up for it, so I might as well
do the crime, right?”
I was silent.
He spoke in a raw kind of horror, like
a man desperate, a man divided. “But the truth was, I just wanted
you. I saw you looking at the sunrise, and I wanted to have that.
To have you. So I took you. I knew full well how wrong it was, and
I did it anyway. And the most fucked up part about it all is that I
still don’t regret it. No remorse. Really fucking crazy,
right?”
Yeah. It was pretty crazy. And
terribly sad. My heart ached for him, for me, for this crazy,
messed-up world where we were enemies when we could have been
friends.
“ Wanna jump again?” I
asked softly.
He turned to me,
incredulous.
“ I think I’ve got the hang
of the landing now. We can jump together.”
He answered slowly. “Yeah. I’d like
that, sunshine.”
CHAPTER TEN
Niagara is a Native
American word for "Thundering water".
A woman stood in
struggle for him as much as I had struggled to be a good little
girl in that house. A role we had to fill to keep someone else
happy, except what made him think he should be this way? Someone,
somewhere had forged Hunter in fire and although it didn’t absolve
him of his sins, I was more than ever curious about who.
Droplets hung on his eyelashes, on the
coarse, stubble-covered skin of his face.
Just enjoy this.
I leaned forward and kissed him—right
on his nose. A little silly maybe, but he didn’t laugh. He looked
startled first, then his eyes darkened. He held me still, steadily
kicking to keep us afloat. But he made no move to pull away or to
initiate another kiss. Just holding steady for my exploration, if I
wished to continue, and I did.
His eyelids, his forehead, the rough
cheeks and much softer lips. I stayed there, sending small kisses
along his mouth, from one corner to the other and then back again.
It was a thank you for bringing me here, for convincing me to do
this. More than that, the jump had given me permission to do this
thing I’d wanted, to kiss a beautiful man who held me. One who
seemed to want me but was unable to express it except in the
harshest of ways.
“ What next?” I whispered,
expecting him to do something obscene and maybe painful. For the
first time, I thought I’d welcome it. It was crazy, but so was
this.
His lips curved knowingly, as if he
guessed the direction of my thoughts.
He raised his eyebrow. “Wanna jump
again?”
And I did. We jumped five more times
until we were both exhausted from the swimming and the climb. Still
in our wet clothes, we sprawled out under a tree at the base of the
waterfall, letting the steady hum of it lull us into a
half-sleep.
“ One question,” he
murmured. “I see them in your eyes all the time. I’ll answer one
question.”
A million sprang to
mind. What made you this way? When will
you let me go? But one stood
out.
“ How many others?” I
asked.
Beside me, he tensed.
Minutes passed and lengthened. I might
have drifted off and then returned.
Finally he said, “You were the first.
The only one.”
I sat up. “What about your
conviction?”
“ You asked me once if I
did it. I didn’t.” He shrugged where he lay, eyes on the sky.
“Believe me or not. It’s your choice.”
I had no reason to believe him, and we
both knew it. A court of law had found him guilty. And I knew how
he’d been with me, so it stood to reason he could have done this to
another girl—countless girls. Sometimes that bothered me more than
what he’d done to me. I really had nowhere better to be. I was
already broken in countless ways. And after today? I felt a strange
and twisted kind of gratitude for what he’d done. But to imagine
another girl made helpless turned my stomach.
And he said it had never happened. I
was the first. I was the only.
I believed him.
He laughed, so bitterly that goose
bumps raised on my chilled skin. “I told myself I was getting what
I’d already paid for. They locked me up for it, so I might as well
do the crime, right?”
I was silent.
He spoke in a raw kind of horror, like
a man desperate, a man divided. “But the truth was, I just wanted
you. I saw you looking at the sunrise, and I wanted to have that.
To have you. So I took you. I knew full well how wrong it was, and
I did it anyway. And the most fucked up part about it all is that I
still don’t regret it. No remorse. Really fucking crazy,
right?”
Yeah. It was pretty crazy. And
terribly sad. My heart ached for him, for me, for this crazy,
messed-up world where we were enemies when we could have been
friends.
“ Wanna jump again?” I
asked softly.
He turned to me,
incredulous.
“ I think I’ve got the hang
of the landing now. We can jump together.”
He answered slowly. “Yeah. I’d like
that, sunshine.”
CHAPTER TEN
Niagara is a Native
American word for "Thundering water".
A woman stood in
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