Walpurgis Night by Katherine Kingston Page B

assistance. As soon as he managed to get himself halfway upright, he swayed and turned very pale. Fortunately Henrik was prepared to catch him if he fainted. He didn’t, but it was close. After a few gulps of air, Ranulf said something, and Henrik eased him back onto the mat.
    “Tell him not to be too upset that it was so difficult this time,” Fianna asked Henrik . “It will be easier next time, and by tomorrow he should be able to sit up for a little while.”
    As Henrik conveyed that information to Ranulf , a woman came into the room. She waited for Henrik to finish then spoke to him herself. Henrik nodded and answered, and Ranulf added something as well.
    “My father requests we join him for a special meal to thank you,” Henrik told her. “ Ranulf said he’d like to rest for a while.”
    She nodded acceptance. Henrik escorted her to the largest of the longhouses in the settlement. On the way there, Fianna told him, “As Ranulf is recovering well, there is no need for me to stay here longer.”
    He didn’t say anything for a moment. “It will be well into darkness before we finish tonight. Stay the night and I’ll take you home tomorrow.”
    “Well enough.”
    “ Fianna —” He stopped, both talking and walking. She halted with him, turning to look at him. She couldn’t read all the expressions that chased across his face, but the pain and distress were obvious enough.
    He drew a long breath and let it out slowly. “Never have I felt for a woman the way I feel for you. It makes it difficult for me to know what to do now. For most of my life I’ve awaited this opportunity to go off and see the world, explore what it offers and seek my fortune. Yet now that the time has arrived, a part of me would rather remain here with you. Even do I go, a piece of my heart will remain always with you. I’d ask you to wait for my return, yet I know you cannot do that. A choice is being forced upon you.” He drew himself up as though bracing himself for an anticipated blow. “I know not…” He stopped for a moment before he said, “Do you ask it of me, I’ll not go. I’ll remain here and wed you myself.”
    The miserable tears were starting to collect in her eyes again. His face showed no expression now other than a stern resolve, but she knew what it had cost him to make the offer. She understood the depth of the sacrifice he offered to make, admired him for it, loved him for it. In truth she loved him for all the good things he was, this strong, honorable, intelligent man who struggled to do what was right, whatever the cost.
    She desperately wanted to say the words, to ask him to remain with her. Her heart had never wanted anything more. She could imagine no greater happiness than sharing a lifetime with him. But because he was willing to be strong and noble, she owed it to him to be likewise.

Chapter Eleven
     
    She straightened her back and drew a hard breath. “Nay,” she answered. “Though I am grateful for your offer, and a part of me wants very much to say those words to you, yet will I not. You’ve told me how long you’ve waited for this chance to go exploring the world. Your heart yearns for it. Do you stay here at my request, you will never be completely happy. Always there will be something missing, and someday you’ll begin to ask yourself what you might have lost for your loyalty to me. I would not be the cause of that. I love you too much to settle for a man who yearns for something else.”
    “My heart yearns for you too,” he answered. “It is being torn in half. I know not how to choose.”
    “I am choosing for you,” she said. “The man I love now is not the one you will be in a few years if your yearning for adventure and new sights be not assuaged.”
    His face tightened into an expression of pain. “I wish… You could wait for me here,” he offered. “My father and my brother will shelter you and protect you.”
    She considered it for a moment then shook her head. “Nay.