the thought that it simply sounded like me. I wasn’t used to being around people anymore. Plus I was an insomniac, up all night and sleeping half the day. That would make it pretty difficult to commit to regular hours.
Shelley must have sensed my hesitation. “You think about it. I know it’s summer and you probably just want to take it easy, but any help you could give would be greatly appreciated.” She smiled warmly at me.
I was saved from having to answer when a college-age girl came to check out a pile of books.
With a little wave to Shelley, I headed into the stacks. I meandered around for a bit, picking up a couple of books by local authors, then found Dad in the history section.
“Oh good, you found something,” he said. “If you hadn’t been able to find anything you wanted, I was going to take you to the bookstore and let you pick something out.” He gave me the first genuine smile I’d seen from him in ages. He instantly looked ten years younger. It was just a quick flash, but I’d seen a glimpse of the old Dad, and it gave me hope. “I suppose we still could. Your mother used to say…” He faltered and looked away. I didn’t expect him to finish the thought, so I was surprised when he did. “Your mother used to say I’d spoil you. I said there were worse things to spoil a child with than books.”
I laughed lightly, imagining Mom telling Dad that with a teasing glint in her eyes. “It’s true,” I agreed. “Parents these days spend hundreds of dollars on video games that rot kids’ minds. At least yours was—”
“An investment in your future,” he finished for me, his voice quiet. “Your mom used to say that, too.”
I noticed the change in him instantly. His shoulders slumped, and his eyes took on a faraway haze as if he was seeing something I couldn’t. I wondered if it would always be like this when we talked about Mom. I desperately wanted to talk about her to someone, but Ella was out of the question, and now it seemed Dad was too if he was going to shut down every time.
“I forgot to bring a list of what I need, so I think I’m done here,” he said in a hollow voice. “I’m just going to go wait in the car. You take your time.”
“Dad, wait,” I called after him, but he walked past me, nodding absently at Shelley as he passed on his way to the door.
Shelley glanced my way, concern and sympathy etched on her features. When she’d introduced herself, she’d been one of the first people who hadn’t looked at me with that ‘poor little Charlotte’ look. I told myself that wasn’t how she was looking at me now, but I felt resentment and embarrassment bubble up inside me over the fact she’d witnessed a moment I wished could have been private.
I considered putting the books back on the shelf and slipping out, but I knew that would be ridiculous, so I walked slowly to the counter and set them on the desk.
“I got a library card all ready for you,” Shelley said, her expression back to normal. I smiled at her gratefully, and when she nodded I thought she understood. “It’s a two week loan, one renewal allowed. You can do that online, or here at the desk.”
“The library has a website?” I asked.
Shelley grinned at my surprised tone. “We do. It’s actually quite popular—even off-island, believe it or not. We have a blog section where we get locals to contribute reviews, talk about signings and events, that sort of thing. It’s falling a bit behind because I haven’t had time to update it lately, and with summer vacation here most of the kids who contribute are busy doing other things.” She shrugged and pushed my books across the desk toward me. “That’s something else I was hoping a volunteer might be willing to help me with.” She gave me a meaningful smile. “No pressure, but you think about it, okay?”
“I will,” I promised. “Thanks, Shelley.”
When I returned to the car, Dad wasn’t in the driver’s seat. I glanced up and
Shelley must have sensed my hesitation. “You think about it. I know it’s summer and you probably just want to take it easy, but any help you could give would be greatly appreciated.” She smiled warmly at me.
I was saved from having to answer when a college-age girl came to check out a pile of books.
With a little wave to Shelley, I headed into the stacks. I meandered around for a bit, picking up a couple of books by local authors, then found Dad in the history section.
“Oh good, you found something,” he said. “If you hadn’t been able to find anything you wanted, I was going to take you to the bookstore and let you pick something out.” He gave me the first genuine smile I’d seen from him in ages. He instantly looked ten years younger. It was just a quick flash, but I’d seen a glimpse of the old Dad, and it gave me hope. “I suppose we still could. Your mother used to say…” He faltered and looked away. I didn’t expect him to finish the thought, so I was surprised when he did. “Your mother used to say I’d spoil you. I said there were worse things to spoil a child with than books.”
I laughed lightly, imagining Mom telling Dad that with a teasing glint in her eyes. “It’s true,” I agreed. “Parents these days spend hundreds of dollars on video games that rot kids’ minds. At least yours was—”
“An investment in your future,” he finished for me, his voice quiet. “Your mom used to say that, too.”
I noticed the change in him instantly. His shoulders slumped, and his eyes took on a faraway haze as if he was seeing something I couldn’t. I wondered if it would always be like this when we talked about Mom. I desperately wanted to talk about her to someone, but Ella was out of the question, and now it seemed Dad was too if he was going to shut down every time.
“I forgot to bring a list of what I need, so I think I’m done here,” he said in a hollow voice. “I’m just going to go wait in the car. You take your time.”
“Dad, wait,” I called after him, but he walked past me, nodding absently at Shelley as he passed on his way to the door.
Shelley glanced my way, concern and sympathy etched on her features. When she’d introduced herself, she’d been one of the first people who hadn’t looked at me with that ‘poor little Charlotte’ look. I told myself that wasn’t how she was looking at me now, but I felt resentment and embarrassment bubble up inside me over the fact she’d witnessed a moment I wished could have been private.
I considered putting the books back on the shelf and slipping out, but I knew that would be ridiculous, so I walked slowly to the counter and set them on the desk.
“I got a library card all ready for you,” Shelley said, her expression back to normal. I smiled at her gratefully, and when she nodded I thought she understood. “It’s a two week loan, one renewal allowed. You can do that online, or here at the desk.”
“The library has a website?” I asked.
Shelley grinned at my surprised tone. “We do. It’s actually quite popular—even off-island, believe it or not. We have a blog section where we get locals to contribute reviews, talk about signings and events, that sort of thing. It’s falling a bit behind because I haven’t had time to update it lately, and with summer vacation here most of the kids who contribute are busy doing other things.” She shrugged and pushed my books across the desk toward me. “That’s something else I was hoping a volunteer might be willing to help me with.” She gave me a meaningful smile. “No pressure, but you think about it, okay?”
“I will,” I promised. “Thanks, Shelley.”
When I returned to the car, Dad wasn’t in the driver’s seat. I glanced up and
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