disparity between Martika’s image and a wall full of used cigarettes. As I looked closer, I recoiled in disgust when I realized that Buddha’s crimson mouth was composed of lipstick-stained papers.
“Oh, heavens no. But this piece repulses me so much that I just had to have it. And I promised myself I would hang it in a prominent place until I am able to accept it completely and fully. I guess I’m sort of addicted to healing. I’m immediately drawn to anything that makes me uncomfortable because I know there’s something underneath that I need to work on.”
Martika gestured for me to follow her, and as we moved through the hallway into her beautiful home, she had one last thing to say on the subject: “My father used to smoke.”
When we entered the kitchen, there were several people I recognized from the constellation group and a few more who didn’t look familiar. They were of all ages, but once again, mostly female. It seemed like the large country-style kitchen was the heart of the party, and many guests were gathered near the bright blue and red pots that were bubbling on the restaurant-style stainlesssteel stove.
“There are a bunch of great people here for you to meet,” Martika said. “Can I get you some water or tea?”
“Tea would be great.”
“I hope you like rooibos,” she said as she handed me a cup of steaming red liquid.
“This tastes amazing.” I loved the tart, nutty flavor that was unlike any other tea I’d had before. “Where can you get it?”
“It’s from Africa, but you can get it at the Co-op, of course.”
“Of course,” I smiled.
“Oh, Scott, I want you to meet Lisa from the group. She was in the constellation with you, and I think you have a lot in common.” Martika introduced me to a short perky brunette with curly hair and bright red lipstick. After making sure we were properly acquainted, Martika brought the teapot into the other room and left the two of us to talk in the kitchen.
“Wow, your constellation was so intense,” said Lisa, speaking much faster than I was used to listening. “I know we’re not supposed to talk about it, but I’ve never seen anything like that before.”
“Have you seen a lot of them?” I finally remembered her sitting next to the “mustache” at the constellation.
“I’m in the yearlong intensive, so I go to a three-day weekend every month and sometimes a few other times, like the one you were in.”
“That’s a lot. I don’t know if I could handle doing that every month, let alone three days in a row.”
“You get used to it, but I think your session was a bit more intense than most.”
That made me feel a bit better. I couldn’t imagine it getting more intense than that!
“I was shocked when Hans said you were supposed to be dead,” Lisa continued. “I totally got truth bumps when he said that.”
“‘Truth bumps’?”
“You know, goose pimples, goose flesh, chills—whatever you call it. When the hair stands up on the back of your neck.”
“Oh.”
“Do you know why truth bumps happen?”
“Nope.”
“They happen when the connection to your spirit is stronger than the connection to your body. And that’s why I knew that what Hans said was true. How did you feel when he said you were supposed to be dead?”
“At first I was angry, but then I felt relieved.” I was surprised at myself for being so open with someone I barely knew, but being in Martika’s house made me feel safe. “I’m relieved because now I know I wasn’t imagining it. I’d always felt I was supposed to be dead, but it didn’t make any sense until he explained it.”
“Wow, that’s so intense.”
Martika reappeared, clinking her glass with the handle of a fork. “Everyone, please move into the dining room. Dinner is ready!”
We proceeded into the dining room, which had two large dining tables butted up against each other. On the long wall hanging above the tables was a horizontal cigarette-paper collage of the
“Oh, heavens no. But this piece repulses me so much that I just had to have it. And I promised myself I would hang it in a prominent place until I am able to accept it completely and fully. I guess I’m sort of addicted to healing. I’m immediately drawn to anything that makes me uncomfortable because I know there’s something underneath that I need to work on.”
Martika gestured for me to follow her, and as we moved through the hallway into her beautiful home, she had one last thing to say on the subject: “My father used to smoke.”
When we entered the kitchen, there were several people I recognized from the constellation group and a few more who didn’t look familiar. They were of all ages, but once again, mostly female. It seemed like the large country-style kitchen was the heart of the party, and many guests were gathered near the bright blue and red pots that were bubbling on the restaurant-style stainlesssteel stove.
“There are a bunch of great people here for you to meet,” Martika said. “Can I get you some water or tea?”
“Tea would be great.”
“I hope you like rooibos,” she said as she handed me a cup of steaming red liquid.
“This tastes amazing.” I loved the tart, nutty flavor that was unlike any other tea I’d had before. “Where can you get it?”
“It’s from Africa, but you can get it at the Co-op, of course.”
“Of course,” I smiled.
“Oh, Scott, I want you to meet Lisa from the group. She was in the constellation with you, and I think you have a lot in common.” Martika introduced me to a short perky brunette with curly hair and bright red lipstick. After making sure we were properly acquainted, Martika brought the teapot into the other room and left the two of us to talk in the kitchen.
“Wow, your constellation was so intense,” said Lisa, speaking much faster than I was used to listening. “I know we’re not supposed to talk about it, but I’ve never seen anything like that before.”
“Have you seen a lot of them?” I finally remembered her sitting next to the “mustache” at the constellation.
“I’m in the yearlong intensive, so I go to a three-day weekend every month and sometimes a few other times, like the one you were in.”
“That’s a lot. I don’t know if I could handle doing that every month, let alone three days in a row.”
“You get used to it, but I think your session was a bit more intense than most.”
That made me feel a bit better. I couldn’t imagine it getting more intense than that!
“I was shocked when Hans said you were supposed to be dead,” Lisa continued. “I totally got truth bumps when he said that.”
“‘Truth bumps’?”
“You know, goose pimples, goose flesh, chills—whatever you call it. When the hair stands up on the back of your neck.”
“Oh.”
“Do you know why truth bumps happen?”
“Nope.”
“They happen when the connection to your spirit is stronger than the connection to your body. And that’s why I knew that what Hans said was true. How did you feel when he said you were supposed to be dead?”
“At first I was angry, but then I felt relieved.” I was surprised at myself for being so open with someone I barely knew, but being in Martika’s house made me feel safe. “I’m relieved because now I know I wasn’t imagining it. I’d always felt I was supposed to be dead, but it didn’t make any sense until he explained it.”
“Wow, that’s so intense.”
Martika reappeared, clinking her glass with the handle of a fork. “Everyone, please move into the dining room. Dinner is ready!”
We proceeded into the dining room, which had two large dining tables butted up against each other. On the long wall hanging above the tables was a horizontal cigarette-paper collage of the
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