too, because he stepped in between my brother and mother.
“Zachy,” I yelled.
But my brother seemed to hear nothing but the name-calling. He knocked our dad aside. Knocked him to the floor. And he was on Mom in a moment. Had her by the shoulders. Pushed her to the wall. Said, “I have had enough of you, Mom. You’ve done enough. Shut the hell up. Don’t you ever say anything like that again.”
“You’re hurting me, Zacheus Lee Castle. Remove your hands from my person right now.”
I hurried from Daddy’s side, moving across the room.
Tried to get to my brother. Daddy stood too.
“I’m done talking to you,” Zach said. “I’ll not speak another word to you the rest of my life.”
Mom laughed, but I saw the look on her face. The gauntlet had been thrown down. “You won’t talk to me?” she said, and laughed again.
I reached out for Zach, touched his arm. He looked atme, and his eyes filled with tears, his face splotchy from anger. “You tell her, London,” he said, his voice almost a whisper. “Tell her I’m done.”
I was caught there in the middle. Daddy stood behind me.
“Tell her.”
“He said, Mom . . . ,” I said, faltering, not wanting to say anything at all, but Mom was too fast. “Don’t either of you speak to me,” she said.
And Zacheus didn’t. Not even one more time. Not the rest of his life.
“Okay, wow,” Jesse says. He still has my hand. “Wow.”
He pulls me to the van. Lauren looks out the window—what’s she doing here?—and she isn’t happy. Then she must see my face, because she opens the door and so does Lili and they jump out and run to meet us. All three of them stand around me.
Tears keep running down my face, and I feel like perhaps something has broken. Nothing as clichéd as my heart.
That broke months ago, anyway. I think maybe my eyes have a malfunction or something.
What’s weird is that the weather has changed overnight.
It’s warm this morning.
“What is it?” Lili says, and her arms are around me, and Lauren is petting Jesse, who says, “I’ve never seen anything like that in real life.”
“What?”
“Her mom. Her mom is messed up.”
Messed up? My mother? Of course. Of course she is.
“I can take my brother’s car,” I say. I have the keys in my bag. I dig around for them. “I want to be alone.” I try to say the words, but nothing comes out but alone .
“Oh, London,” Lili says, and she hugs me close. “Come with us.”
“Get the hell out of here!” The last word screams up, high, higher, and I’m sure that if I were to look in the cloudless sky, I’d see the last sounds of my mother there, proving she hates me.
We all turn and there she is. On the porch. Looking so beautiful but so . . . so angry. My mother. “Take her away.
Get off my property.”
My eyes are still broken and I can’t quite walk, but I head toward Zach’s car, and Jesse throws the keys to Lauren.
“Drive the van,” he says. And she doesn’t even argue.
I follow the van for a bit, fall behind in school traffic, almost hit a pedestrian, and pull over so I can cry. I rest my head on the steering wheel.
“You okay, London?” Jesse says after a couple of minutes of listening to me sob.
No. No, I’m not okay. I’m hurt. Embarrassed. And alone in a family that should be holding each other up, not pushing each other aside. I can’t say any of this, though.
“You want me to drive?”
I nod.
“You want to go to school?”
I shake my head no.
“Want to go to the beach? I’ve always wanted to play hooky at the beach. Can’t do that in Utah.”
“Sure,” I say.
We change places, and I lean my head back and let the tears leak from my broken eyes.
Jesse’s silent. He takes the keys, adjusts the seat, hands me a napkin from McDonald’s (where’d that come from?), and turns the car around.
We drive toward Ponce Inlet, a few miles up the coast.
We drive slow, then look for a place to
“Zachy,” I yelled.
But my brother seemed to hear nothing but the name-calling. He knocked our dad aside. Knocked him to the floor. And he was on Mom in a moment. Had her by the shoulders. Pushed her to the wall. Said, “I have had enough of you, Mom. You’ve done enough. Shut the hell up. Don’t you ever say anything like that again.”
“You’re hurting me, Zacheus Lee Castle. Remove your hands from my person right now.”
I hurried from Daddy’s side, moving across the room.
Tried to get to my brother. Daddy stood too.
“I’m done talking to you,” Zach said. “I’ll not speak another word to you the rest of my life.”
Mom laughed, but I saw the look on her face. The gauntlet had been thrown down. “You won’t talk to me?” she said, and laughed again.
I reached out for Zach, touched his arm. He looked atme, and his eyes filled with tears, his face splotchy from anger. “You tell her, London,” he said, his voice almost a whisper. “Tell her I’m done.”
I was caught there in the middle. Daddy stood behind me.
“Tell her.”
“He said, Mom . . . ,” I said, faltering, not wanting to say anything at all, but Mom was too fast. “Don’t either of you speak to me,” she said.
And Zacheus didn’t. Not even one more time. Not the rest of his life.
“Okay, wow,” Jesse says. He still has my hand. “Wow.”
He pulls me to the van. Lauren looks out the window—what’s she doing here?—and she isn’t happy. Then she must see my face, because she opens the door and so does Lili and they jump out and run to meet us. All three of them stand around me.
Tears keep running down my face, and I feel like perhaps something has broken. Nothing as clichéd as my heart.
That broke months ago, anyway. I think maybe my eyes have a malfunction or something.
What’s weird is that the weather has changed overnight.
It’s warm this morning.
“What is it?” Lili says, and her arms are around me, and Lauren is petting Jesse, who says, “I’ve never seen anything like that in real life.”
“What?”
“Her mom. Her mom is messed up.”
Messed up? My mother? Of course. Of course she is.
“I can take my brother’s car,” I say. I have the keys in my bag. I dig around for them. “I want to be alone.” I try to say the words, but nothing comes out but alone .
“Oh, London,” Lili says, and she hugs me close. “Come with us.”
“Get the hell out of here!” The last word screams up, high, higher, and I’m sure that if I were to look in the cloudless sky, I’d see the last sounds of my mother there, proving she hates me.
We all turn and there she is. On the porch. Looking so beautiful but so . . . so angry. My mother. “Take her away.
Get off my property.”
My eyes are still broken and I can’t quite walk, but I head toward Zach’s car, and Jesse throws the keys to Lauren.
“Drive the van,” he says. And she doesn’t even argue.
I follow the van for a bit, fall behind in school traffic, almost hit a pedestrian, and pull over so I can cry. I rest my head on the steering wheel.
“You okay, London?” Jesse says after a couple of minutes of listening to me sob.
No. No, I’m not okay. I’m hurt. Embarrassed. And alone in a family that should be holding each other up, not pushing each other aside. I can’t say any of this, though.
“You want me to drive?”
I nod.
“You want to go to school?”
I shake my head no.
“Want to go to the beach? I’ve always wanted to play hooky at the beach. Can’t do that in Utah.”
“Sure,” I say.
We change places, and I lean my head back and let the tears leak from my broken eyes.
Jesse’s silent. He takes the keys, adjusts the seat, hands me a napkin from McDonald’s (where’d that come from?), and turns the car around.
We drive toward Ponce Inlet, a few miles up the coast.
We drive slow, then look for a place to
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