part of me felt left out. Miles may have kissed me first, but he never has since that night. If he kissed London, what does that mean for the three of us? Does that make her mean more or me mean any less?
What bothers me the most about all these haunting questions is that I have them in first place. London is the one chasing after romance. She reads about it, photographs it, and wishes for it. I avoid romance and anything to do with love like it's the plague.
I want fun, passion, and something so consuming you feel like you're high. Actions matter to me more than feelings or words. My heart isn't built like London's. It's not warm and open. It's cold and closed off to everyone else. It's better this way.
I jump when I hear footsteps echoing up the stairwell behind me. The door to the roof opens and Kane steps through. He seems surprised to see me. I relax my tense muscles. I'm sure I'm not allowed up here, but I didn't think there was anyone who would bust me.
"What are you doing up here?" he asks as he comes closer.
He looks different in a white shirt and basketball shorts.
"I come up here sometimes to tan. You?"
He looks me up and down, finally resting on my face.
"You always tan fully clothed? In the shade?"
"Do you always answer a question with a question?"
"I work out up here after my runs. Never knew anyone else knew how to get up here."
I came up here by mistake the first time actually. I was smoking on the fire escape when London came home one day. I climbed up the stairs to finish my smoke and ended up on the roof. Only once I was up here did I find the door leading back into the building. From inside, it looks like another apartment.
Kane drops to the ground and does push-ups as if he is proving a point. If he is going to go about his business, then I will go about mine. I sit back down on the weathered chair and watch Kane. His muscles in his back flex under his damp shirt. With every push, he makes a grunting sound. Soon, I am done feeling and thinking.
Kane jumps up to his feet and pulls his shirt over his head. He uses it to wipe some of the sweat off his chest. I watch him as he pulls out his headphones and comes to sit next to me. I can feel the heat off his skin. He still somehow smells good.
"You stood me up last night," he finally says.
"I know."
"Something tells me that I should have expected that."
"Something or someone?"
He glances at me sideways and lifts a brow.
"How is your sister anyways? She feeling better?"
"Better?" I ask, confused. I didn't know she was sick.
Now it's Kane's turn to look confused.
"She fainted last night at the bar. Miles took her home after she came to."
"Shit. I had no clue. I should go check on her."
I stand to leave but Kane grabs my hand and pulls me back down. I'm surprised the lounger doesn't break under the impact.
"I'm sure Miles is taking care of her. He's a bit protective of you guys."
I nod and fidget in my seat. I'm pissed at myself for not knowing about what happened to my sister last night. It makes me feel worse for not being there with her last night.
"Why did you bail?" he asks.
I sigh and lean back, letting the sun hit my face.
"I'm not a very reliable person. I don't do dates or keep promises very well." I shrug, wishing I had something substantial to give him. Truth is, I just didn't feel like playing nice for the night. I wasn't ready to bring Kane into our little group. I don't think I will ever be ready to bring anyone into it.
"No hard feelings," Kane says as he stands.
Turning to face me, he grabs my hands and pulls me to my feet. We are chest to chest as I look up at him. He is still shirtless, and I can smell the mixture of sweat and salty air. It's masculine and intoxicating. Kane runs his hands up my arms, over my shoulders and down my back.
I can tell we are done with the talking. This is the part that I like about being with Kane. The physical part. The way our bodies
What bothers me the most about all these haunting questions is that I have them in first place. London is the one chasing after romance. She reads about it, photographs it, and wishes for it. I avoid romance and anything to do with love like it's the plague.
I want fun, passion, and something so consuming you feel like you're high. Actions matter to me more than feelings or words. My heart isn't built like London's. It's not warm and open. It's cold and closed off to everyone else. It's better this way.
I jump when I hear footsteps echoing up the stairwell behind me. The door to the roof opens and Kane steps through. He seems surprised to see me. I relax my tense muscles. I'm sure I'm not allowed up here, but I didn't think there was anyone who would bust me.
"What are you doing up here?" he asks as he comes closer.
He looks different in a white shirt and basketball shorts.
"I come up here sometimes to tan. You?"
He looks me up and down, finally resting on my face.
"You always tan fully clothed? In the shade?"
"Do you always answer a question with a question?"
"I work out up here after my runs. Never knew anyone else knew how to get up here."
I came up here by mistake the first time actually. I was smoking on the fire escape when London came home one day. I climbed up the stairs to finish my smoke and ended up on the roof. Only once I was up here did I find the door leading back into the building. From inside, it looks like another apartment.
Kane drops to the ground and does push-ups as if he is proving a point. If he is going to go about his business, then I will go about mine. I sit back down on the weathered chair and watch Kane. His muscles in his back flex under his damp shirt. With every push, he makes a grunting sound. Soon, I am done feeling and thinking.
Kane jumps up to his feet and pulls his shirt over his head. He uses it to wipe some of the sweat off his chest. I watch him as he pulls out his headphones and comes to sit next to me. I can feel the heat off his skin. He still somehow smells good.
"You stood me up last night," he finally says.
"I know."
"Something tells me that I should have expected that."
"Something or someone?"
He glances at me sideways and lifts a brow.
"How is your sister anyways? She feeling better?"
"Better?" I ask, confused. I didn't know she was sick.
Now it's Kane's turn to look confused.
"She fainted last night at the bar. Miles took her home after she came to."
"Shit. I had no clue. I should go check on her."
I stand to leave but Kane grabs my hand and pulls me back down. I'm surprised the lounger doesn't break under the impact.
"I'm sure Miles is taking care of her. He's a bit protective of you guys."
I nod and fidget in my seat. I'm pissed at myself for not knowing about what happened to my sister last night. It makes me feel worse for not being there with her last night.
"Why did you bail?" he asks.
I sigh and lean back, letting the sun hit my face.
"I'm not a very reliable person. I don't do dates or keep promises very well." I shrug, wishing I had something substantial to give him. Truth is, I just didn't feel like playing nice for the night. I wasn't ready to bring Kane into our little group. I don't think I will ever be ready to bring anyone into it.
"No hard feelings," Kane says as he stands.
Turning to face me, he grabs my hands and pulls me to my feet. We are chest to chest as I look up at him. He is still shirtless, and I can smell the mixture of sweat and salty air. It's masculine and intoxicating. Kane runs his hands up my arms, over my shoulders and down my back.
I can tell we are done with the talking. This is the part that I like about being with Kane. The physical part. The way our bodies
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