obsession. He certainly hadn’t promised to stay away from Jennifer.
“We were playing with the dogs. It was innocent. But, really, it’s none of your business.”
Desperation clawed at him. No matter how much sadness she aimed at him, he needed to hold on to the memory of the afternoon. The barn and water had been a great time, but playing with those dogs meant everything. Seeing Jennifer that carefree reminded him of the girl he once knew. Of the woman who stole his heart years ago and still owned it.
Loving one woman while another built her unrealistic expectations around him sent guilt crashing over him. He hadn’t cheated or even done anything to make Jennifer question his loyalty, but he felt as if he’d broken vows to both women.
He exhaled, trying to figure out the best way to diffuse the situation. “Tracie, don’t do this.”
“You are cheating on me.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. We’re not together.”
“Then try this. You still love Jennifer.”
He couldn’t deny it. Couldn’t laugh it off. So he ignored it and plowed through. “We’re friends. Hell, you’re Jennifer’s roommate. Do you want us to pretend we don’t know each other?”
“I’d settle for you acting as if you don’t want to be with her.”
The words sat there for a second. He’d struggled so hard to spare Tracie’s feelings on this and hide his own. Jennifer kept begging for that, and he had to comply to survive with some of his dignity intact. Still, the past bubbled up on him now and then.
He looked at Tracie, the woman who had always helped him and supported him, and fumbled with the right words. “You and I are not together. Not like that. We never will be. It can’t happen.”
He saw a flicker of something in her eyes, something he could not identify. For the first time since that one telling night, he realized how she acted might have less to do with him than he thought. “Is this about guilt?”
Tracie lifted her head as if she’d smelled something awful and needed to rise above it. “I do not feel guilty.”
“Really? You’re trying to date your friend’s ex.”
Tracie continued to hold her body stock still. “You would take Jennifer back in a second if she gave you the chance.”
That was his shame. His weakness. “That’s my business.”
Tracie put her hands on the back of the couch and leaned in. “She dumped you.”
He fought off that reality every day and didn’t want to hear it now. “Yeah, thanks. I got that.”
This time Tracie’s shoulders fell and a small gasp escaped her throat. “How can you still feel something for her? After the way she left?”
“I’ll always have a special place for Jennifer. We’ve known each other for years.”
Tracie stepped up and grabbed his arms as if willing him to listen. She tried to shake him, but she wasn’t strong enough to move him. “You’ve known me for almost as long.”
He didn’t want to allow the comparison of Tracie and Jennifer into his head. “It’s not the same. I don’t want to hurt you—”
“Too late.” Tracie dropped her hands to the side. “I hate you right now.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Not good enough.” She turned and stormed away.
Paul could only hope she didn’t lead Jennifer to think something more had happened between them as payback for his stolen happiness feeding her pain.
Thirteen
The forgive and forget motto is overrated.
Ignore it.
—Grandma Gladys, The Duchess
“Y OU’RE LEAVING ,” T RACIE SAID FROM THE DOORWAY a few months later.
Jennifer did not take even a second to look up from her suitcase. She’d been packing all day. Boxes sat around her room as she tried to figure out what to take and what to give away. “I found a place closer to work.”
“Another house?”
“An apartment. It’s less expensive, which makes sense since I’m traveling for the job these days.”
“Really?”
“I just said so, didn’t I?”
Jennifer didn’t even try to be civil. They
“We were playing with the dogs. It was innocent. But, really, it’s none of your business.”
Desperation clawed at him. No matter how much sadness she aimed at him, he needed to hold on to the memory of the afternoon. The barn and water had been a great time, but playing with those dogs meant everything. Seeing Jennifer that carefree reminded him of the girl he once knew. Of the woman who stole his heart years ago and still owned it.
Loving one woman while another built her unrealistic expectations around him sent guilt crashing over him. He hadn’t cheated or even done anything to make Jennifer question his loyalty, but he felt as if he’d broken vows to both women.
He exhaled, trying to figure out the best way to diffuse the situation. “Tracie, don’t do this.”
“You are cheating on me.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. We’re not together.”
“Then try this. You still love Jennifer.”
He couldn’t deny it. Couldn’t laugh it off. So he ignored it and plowed through. “We’re friends. Hell, you’re Jennifer’s roommate. Do you want us to pretend we don’t know each other?”
“I’d settle for you acting as if you don’t want to be with her.”
The words sat there for a second. He’d struggled so hard to spare Tracie’s feelings on this and hide his own. Jennifer kept begging for that, and he had to comply to survive with some of his dignity intact. Still, the past bubbled up on him now and then.
He looked at Tracie, the woman who had always helped him and supported him, and fumbled with the right words. “You and I are not together. Not like that. We never will be. It can’t happen.”
He saw a flicker of something in her eyes, something he could not identify. For the first time since that one telling night, he realized how she acted might have less to do with him than he thought. “Is this about guilt?”
Tracie lifted her head as if she’d smelled something awful and needed to rise above it. “I do not feel guilty.”
“Really? You’re trying to date your friend’s ex.”
Tracie continued to hold her body stock still. “You would take Jennifer back in a second if she gave you the chance.”
That was his shame. His weakness. “That’s my business.”
Tracie put her hands on the back of the couch and leaned in. “She dumped you.”
He fought off that reality every day and didn’t want to hear it now. “Yeah, thanks. I got that.”
This time Tracie’s shoulders fell and a small gasp escaped her throat. “How can you still feel something for her? After the way she left?”
“I’ll always have a special place for Jennifer. We’ve known each other for years.”
Tracie stepped up and grabbed his arms as if willing him to listen. She tried to shake him, but she wasn’t strong enough to move him. “You’ve known me for almost as long.”
He didn’t want to allow the comparison of Tracie and Jennifer into his head. “It’s not the same. I don’t want to hurt you—”
“Too late.” Tracie dropped her hands to the side. “I hate you right now.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Not good enough.” She turned and stormed away.
Paul could only hope she didn’t lead Jennifer to think something more had happened between them as payback for his stolen happiness feeding her pain.
Thirteen
The forgive and forget motto is overrated.
Ignore it.
—Grandma Gladys, The Duchess
“Y OU’RE LEAVING ,” T RACIE SAID FROM THE DOORWAY a few months later.
Jennifer did not take even a second to look up from her suitcase. She’d been packing all day. Boxes sat around her room as she tried to figure out what to take and what to give away. “I found a place closer to work.”
“Another house?”
“An apartment. It’s less expensive, which makes sense since I’m traveling for the job these days.”
“Really?”
“I just said so, didn’t I?”
Jennifer didn’t even try to be civil. They
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