again. He’d told me more than once he’d let me know if there was any news, good or bad.
I must have done a shitty job hiding my expression, because Cy sat with his chin resting on his steepled fingers and his eyes hard when I looked up.
“Sorry,” I said and raised a palm. “I promised I wouldn’t bring it up.”
He shrugged. “Don’t apologize. I know how tough the last year has been for you. And I more than anyone know what it’s like to love someone only to have them let you down time after time.”
A knot twisted in my gut. He was talking about every member of my immediate family. Each and every one of them had let me down in the same way. And each and every one of them was gone.
“The trail’s cold, Devin,” he said, his tone grim and final. The air left my lungs. I hadn’t asked. Maybe some part of me never wanted to know.
“What are you saying?”
He twirled the pasta on his fork and dipped it in the sauce. “I mean, there’s nothing more I can do. My man has run down every lead he can. Mandy’s gone, Devin. Time we both started to accept that.”
“What do you mean gone?”
He smiled. “That’s all I mean. Gone. Doesn’t want to be found. Your father did the same thing more times than I can count when we were younger. I thought it would be better when he married Aurora. It was for a while. Then she started to disappear. At least your dad stuck around after that. Who knows though. If he hadn’t gotten the cancer, maybe he would have started taking off again. Either way, I think you and I would probably be sitting right where we are now. So my advice to you, honey, is to say the hell with it. Mandy is Mandy. Don’t waste your life waiting on her.”
I moved the food around on my plate and forced a smile. I knew what this meant. If I kept asking about her, or pressed the issue of him using any more resources to try and track her, things would sour between us. You took Uncle Cy on his terms or not at all.
I nodded, wanting desperately to change the subject. I told him about the great night we had with The Malcontents . Cy smiled though it didn’t reach his eyes. Again, he dealt in absolutes and bottom lines. If the end-of-the-month receipts were up, then he’d be impressed. Not before.
A comfortable silence rose between us as I ate until I felt like I’d burst. Uncle Cy punctuated his meal the same way as always with a heavy sigh and a firm pat on his rounded belly. Then he pushed his chair away from the table.
“Everything was delicious as always,” I said. “Thanks. I hope you don’t mind if I cut it short tonight. I wanted to stop by the bar and do some last-minute prep for tomorrow.” This was part of our ritual too. Uncle Cy kept his life regimented and compartmentalized, even when it came to me, the only family he had left. He wasn’t inclined to hang out and socialize much beyond our meal. That suited me fine too.
“Aren’t you going to ask me about the other favor you had me do?”
I froze half bent over the table as I rose to leave. Slowly, I sank back into my chair. My mouth went dry. Jase. He’d done what I asked and kept his distance after that night in my apartment. I both respected and hated it. And I’d kind of hoped Uncle Cy had forgotten all about him. He’d certainly forgotten the character of our conversation. I didn’t ask him to check into Jase’s background. He’d insisted. I felt equally shitty and curious. But anything Cy did at this point felt like an invasion of Jase’s privacy. Never mind the rest of it, he was a solid and dependable employee.
“Oh. That. You know, you can just kind of forget that. He’s really doing a good job for us. That’s really all that matters to me right now.”
I figured if I told myself that enough times, maybe I’d start to believe it. Jase handled things for me the other night. Dale and his idiot friends brought drugs into my bar. I knew only too well what could have happened if Dale had collapsed like
I must have done a shitty job hiding my expression, because Cy sat with his chin resting on his steepled fingers and his eyes hard when I looked up.
“Sorry,” I said and raised a palm. “I promised I wouldn’t bring it up.”
He shrugged. “Don’t apologize. I know how tough the last year has been for you. And I more than anyone know what it’s like to love someone only to have them let you down time after time.”
A knot twisted in my gut. He was talking about every member of my immediate family. Each and every one of them had let me down in the same way. And each and every one of them was gone.
“The trail’s cold, Devin,” he said, his tone grim and final. The air left my lungs. I hadn’t asked. Maybe some part of me never wanted to know.
“What are you saying?”
He twirled the pasta on his fork and dipped it in the sauce. “I mean, there’s nothing more I can do. My man has run down every lead he can. Mandy’s gone, Devin. Time we both started to accept that.”
“What do you mean gone?”
He smiled. “That’s all I mean. Gone. Doesn’t want to be found. Your father did the same thing more times than I can count when we were younger. I thought it would be better when he married Aurora. It was for a while. Then she started to disappear. At least your dad stuck around after that. Who knows though. If he hadn’t gotten the cancer, maybe he would have started taking off again. Either way, I think you and I would probably be sitting right where we are now. So my advice to you, honey, is to say the hell with it. Mandy is Mandy. Don’t waste your life waiting on her.”
I moved the food around on my plate and forced a smile. I knew what this meant. If I kept asking about her, or pressed the issue of him using any more resources to try and track her, things would sour between us. You took Uncle Cy on his terms or not at all.
I nodded, wanting desperately to change the subject. I told him about the great night we had with The Malcontents . Cy smiled though it didn’t reach his eyes. Again, he dealt in absolutes and bottom lines. If the end-of-the-month receipts were up, then he’d be impressed. Not before.
A comfortable silence rose between us as I ate until I felt like I’d burst. Uncle Cy punctuated his meal the same way as always with a heavy sigh and a firm pat on his rounded belly. Then he pushed his chair away from the table.
“Everything was delicious as always,” I said. “Thanks. I hope you don’t mind if I cut it short tonight. I wanted to stop by the bar and do some last-minute prep for tomorrow.” This was part of our ritual too. Uncle Cy kept his life regimented and compartmentalized, even when it came to me, the only family he had left. He wasn’t inclined to hang out and socialize much beyond our meal. That suited me fine too.
“Aren’t you going to ask me about the other favor you had me do?”
I froze half bent over the table as I rose to leave. Slowly, I sank back into my chair. My mouth went dry. Jase. He’d done what I asked and kept his distance after that night in my apartment. I both respected and hated it. And I’d kind of hoped Uncle Cy had forgotten all about him. He’d certainly forgotten the character of our conversation. I didn’t ask him to check into Jase’s background. He’d insisted. I felt equally shitty and curious. But anything Cy did at this point felt like an invasion of Jase’s privacy. Never mind the rest of it, he was a solid and dependable employee.
“Oh. That. You know, you can just kind of forget that. He’s really doing a good job for us. That’s really all that matters to me right now.”
I figured if I told myself that enough times, maybe I’d start to believe it. Jase handled things for me the other night. Dale and his idiot friends brought drugs into my bar. I knew only too well what could have happened if Dale had collapsed like
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