make up for all the bad shit I did four years ago.
Still, there was a ton of pressure on the team. And I wanted to be a leader, someone the other players looked up to. Especially since the quarterback was a jerk, all into making himself look good.
“Sorry, Coach. I got distracted. It won’t happen again.”
He slapped me on the back. “Your eyes are good, and there’s no swelling. It’s possible you have a very mild concussion, so the best thing to do is rest up. I called your dad to come check you out.”
I said okay and after he walked away, I glanced over to see if the strange object of my stupidity was still in the window. I didn’t see her, and the studio lights looked dimmed, so I guessed her practice had ended pretty much as soon as I’d taken the hit.
Now, I’d never know who she was.
I hadn’t gotten a good look at the details of her face. Sure, I knew her hair was dark and her body tight, but that was about it. Put her in regular clothes, and she’d fit right in with half the girls at Briarcrest.
I got a pang of disappointment at not knowing her name, and it surprised me.
Why did I care about some girl in the window anyway?
I had plenty of other girls, probably prettier, to keep me occupied. And I didn’t dig chasing girls. I liked immediate gratification when it came to the opposite sex, and if I had to work too hard for it, then it usually wasn’t worth my time.
Yet still my thoughts persisted.
Had she seen me looking? Did she know who I was?
Because face it, everyone did.
Obviously she was a student at BA, but if I didn’t know her, it told me right away she didn’t hang in my social circle. In other words, she wasn’t popular. Meh . Everyone here thinks I’m the king of the school, even calling me Hollywood because they think my life is golden and perfect.
But it isn’t.
Because no matter who people think you are, no one really knows what’s underneath. The real truth is I’m an irresponsible, self-centered fuck who puts his own needs before others.
Just ask my mother. I’ve let her down plenty of times.
LATER THAT NIGHT at home, I relaxed in bed, finishing up some homework for Honors Chemistry.
Dad poked his head through the doorway. Earlier, he’d picked me up from school and taken me to the physician’s office where I’d gotten the okay that all was well. Since then, we’d eaten a light dinner and watched some television together. Typical evening at our house.
He eased in the room, adjusting his wire-framed glasses. “Hey, I gotta run out for a late staff meeting with the team.” He owns part of the Dallas Mavericks, like a big part. “You gonna be okay to check in on your mom in a few? Make sure she’s good?”
At the mention of her name, I got tense. Sighing, I eased out of bed. “Yeah, sure. She sleeping?”
I had no idea what her evening had consisted of since she hadn’t come down for dinner. She did that a lot, stayed in her room to read or watch mindless television. I don’t know what the difference was between watching it alone or with us but apparently there was.
He rubbed his jaw, wearing a thoughtful expression. “She seems good. No need to rush or worry, okay?” He checked his watch. “I’ll be home around midnight.”
I nodded and watched him walk down the hall, wishing I could leave too. That I could get in my Porsche and drive all the way out of Dallas, away from all the darkness that permeated my existence here in Highland Park.
Because much like my mother, I was alive but barely living.
A couple of hours later, I finished my homework and went upstairs to her room. As the door creaked open, my mouth got dry, wondering if maybe I should have come in sooner to see her, but that was stupid.
She’d said she wouldn’t try to kill herself again. She’d promised me.
I eased over to her bed and found her safe and sound, lying curled up like a little girl. Long dark hair cascaded across her pillow and rested against honey-colored
Still, there was a ton of pressure on the team. And I wanted to be a leader, someone the other players looked up to. Especially since the quarterback was a jerk, all into making himself look good.
“Sorry, Coach. I got distracted. It won’t happen again.”
He slapped me on the back. “Your eyes are good, and there’s no swelling. It’s possible you have a very mild concussion, so the best thing to do is rest up. I called your dad to come check you out.”
I said okay and after he walked away, I glanced over to see if the strange object of my stupidity was still in the window. I didn’t see her, and the studio lights looked dimmed, so I guessed her practice had ended pretty much as soon as I’d taken the hit.
Now, I’d never know who she was.
I hadn’t gotten a good look at the details of her face. Sure, I knew her hair was dark and her body tight, but that was about it. Put her in regular clothes, and she’d fit right in with half the girls at Briarcrest.
I got a pang of disappointment at not knowing her name, and it surprised me.
Why did I care about some girl in the window anyway?
I had plenty of other girls, probably prettier, to keep me occupied. And I didn’t dig chasing girls. I liked immediate gratification when it came to the opposite sex, and if I had to work too hard for it, then it usually wasn’t worth my time.
Yet still my thoughts persisted.
Had she seen me looking? Did she know who I was?
Because face it, everyone did.
Obviously she was a student at BA, but if I didn’t know her, it told me right away she didn’t hang in my social circle. In other words, she wasn’t popular. Meh . Everyone here thinks I’m the king of the school, even calling me Hollywood because they think my life is golden and perfect.
But it isn’t.
Because no matter who people think you are, no one really knows what’s underneath. The real truth is I’m an irresponsible, self-centered fuck who puts his own needs before others.
Just ask my mother. I’ve let her down plenty of times.
LATER THAT NIGHT at home, I relaxed in bed, finishing up some homework for Honors Chemistry.
Dad poked his head through the doorway. Earlier, he’d picked me up from school and taken me to the physician’s office where I’d gotten the okay that all was well. Since then, we’d eaten a light dinner and watched some television together. Typical evening at our house.
He eased in the room, adjusting his wire-framed glasses. “Hey, I gotta run out for a late staff meeting with the team.” He owns part of the Dallas Mavericks, like a big part. “You gonna be okay to check in on your mom in a few? Make sure she’s good?”
At the mention of her name, I got tense. Sighing, I eased out of bed. “Yeah, sure. She sleeping?”
I had no idea what her evening had consisted of since she hadn’t come down for dinner. She did that a lot, stayed in her room to read or watch mindless television. I don’t know what the difference was between watching it alone or with us but apparently there was.
He rubbed his jaw, wearing a thoughtful expression. “She seems good. No need to rush or worry, okay?” He checked his watch. “I’ll be home around midnight.”
I nodded and watched him walk down the hall, wishing I could leave too. That I could get in my Porsche and drive all the way out of Dallas, away from all the darkness that permeated my existence here in Highland Park.
Because much like my mother, I was alive but barely living.
A couple of hours later, I finished my homework and went upstairs to her room. As the door creaked open, my mouth got dry, wondering if maybe I should have come in sooner to see her, but that was stupid.
She’d said she wouldn’t try to kill herself again. She’d promised me.
I eased over to her bed and found her safe and sound, lying curled up like a little girl. Long dark hair cascaded across her pillow and rested against honey-colored
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