the rug out from under her feet. Rin clamped her mouth together to keep from sputtering until she formulated a response. She almost took a step back, but refused to be cowed by the arrogant pout of his lips.
“Why would you go after Nate?”
“Let’s just say he’s not my favorite guy.”
“Why not? He’s not really the bad guy here.”
“You’re kidding me, right?”
His jaw set. He folded his arms and the bulge of his biceps swelled.
“He doesn’t know Popov is a Soviet spy.”
“He tried to beat the shit out you to maintain his cover. A man who can screw a woman one night and smack her around the next is worse than Popov. At least she’s loyal.”
Rin gasped and her heart cramped. “You heard everything. That’s what you were saying last night.”
“Just stop.” His teeth ground together. “I’m a dick. I shouldn't have said anything.”
Her stomach pitched. He probably watched her and Nate go at it all the time. She bristled. “I’m not going to apologize for liking sex.”
He scoffed. “You shouldn’t and I didn’t ask you to.”
“But you have this judgmental look that’s making me sick to my stomach.”
“Well, talking about it isn’t great for me either,” he snapped.
“What? Are you a prude?” She folded her arms across her breasts, shoving what little cleavage she possessed into his face.
“Just let it go or you’ll end up pissed,” he said, lifting his palm from his arm.
“I’m already pissed.” Her cheeks burned.
“You deserve to be loved, to have a guy love your body and worship it with everything he has. He used you like a fist for a quick jerk, and then he rolled over and went to sleep.”
“Did you ever think that I was the one using him? No, you didn’t, because society has programmed you to think that way. A woman should find a nice guy, fall in love, get married, and have some snotty little kids. Well, I don’t do mushy. I don’t do love.”
“You never let anyone get close,” he said with a sad shake of his head. “Me neither. But I’m willing to admit that holding the world at a distance sucks. It’s exhausting and damn lonely.”
“Screw you,” she yelled because his words hit too close to her version of the truth, the one she couldn’t admit to herself.
“Not just for pleasure.” His thick brow arched.
“For what, then?”
“Your heart.”
“I don’t have one.”
“I saw it last night.”
“You must have been deliriously tired.”
“No, you were. That’s how I caught a glimpse.” He leaned forward, snatched his phone from the chest, and then closed and locked it. His lips opened to say more, but he hesitated. His heels caught traction as he turned and headed for the door.
“Where are you going?” she yelled at the back of his head.
“Out.”
“She said to stay put.”
“She also said not to fall in love with you.”
“That shouldn’t be too hard,” she quipped.
“Too fucking late, is what it is.” He reached the door, turned, and heaved the screeching metal, rolling it between them.
“You can’t love me,” she panted against the quivering of her heart. “You don’t know me.”
“I watched you for a year, Rin. I know you better than you know yourself.” Their gazes locked and the eroded metal slowly broke the trance.
17
H e came back three hours later to find her asleep on the bed. Her tear-stained face snuggled into his pillow. Guilt for leaving her gnawed, but if he’d stayed they’d have accomplished nothing but hurting each other. He unpacked and stowed the groceries before slicing up potatoes, seasoning them, and forming hamburger patties.
“Where are you going now,” she whispered from across the room as he headed to the door.
When he turned she shoved the hair back from her face and wiped at her eyes. “There’s a grill on the roof.” He presented the tray of food and utensils in his hand as explanation. “If you can stand my company, you’re welcome to come.”
She rested
“Why would you go after Nate?”
“Let’s just say he’s not my favorite guy.”
“Why not? He’s not really the bad guy here.”
“You’re kidding me, right?”
His jaw set. He folded his arms and the bulge of his biceps swelled.
“He doesn’t know Popov is a Soviet spy.”
“He tried to beat the shit out you to maintain his cover. A man who can screw a woman one night and smack her around the next is worse than Popov. At least she’s loyal.”
Rin gasped and her heart cramped. “You heard everything. That’s what you were saying last night.”
“Just stop.” His teeth ground together. “I’m a dick. I shouldn't have said anything.”
Her stomach pitched. He probably watched her and Nate go at it all the time. She bristled. “I’m not going to apologize for liking sex.”
He scoffed. “You shouldn’t and I didn’t ask you to.”
“But you have this judgmental look that’s making me sick to my stomach.”
“Well, talking about it isn’t great for me either,” he snapped.
“What? Are you a prude?” She folded her arms across her breasts, shoving what little cleavage she possessed into his face.
“Just let it go or you’ll end up pissed,” he said, lifting his palm from his arm.
“I’m already pissed.” Her cheeks burned.
“You deserve to be loved, to have a guy love your body and worship it with everything he has. He used you like a fist for a quick jerk, and then he rolled over and went to sleep.”
“Did you ever think that I was the one using him? No, you didn’t, because society has programmed you to think that way. A woman should find a nice guy, fall in love, get married, and have some snotty little kids. Well, I don’t do mushy. I don’t do love.”
“You never let anyone get close,” he said with a sad shake of his head. “Me neither. But I’m willing to admit that holding the world at a distance sucks. It’s exhausting and damn lonely.”
“Screw you,” she yelled because his words hit too close to her version of the truth, the one she couldn’t admit to herself.
“Not just for pleasure.” His thick brow arched.
“For what, then?”
“Your heart.”
“I don’t have one.”
“I saw it last night.”
“You must have been deliriously tired.”
“No, you were. That’s how I caught a glimpse.” He leaned forward, snatched his phone from the chest, and then closed and locked it. His lips opened to say more, but he hesitated. His heels caught traction as he turned and headed for the door.
“Where are you going?” she yelled at the back of his head.
“Out.”
“She said to stay put.”
“She also said not to fall in love with you.”
“That shouldn’t be too hard,” she quipped.
“Too fucking late, is what it is.” He reached the door, turned, and heaved the screeching metal, rolling it between them.
“You can’t love me,” she panted against the quivering of her heart. “You don’t know me.”
“I watched you for a year, Rin. I know you better than you know yourself.” Their gazes locked and the eroded metal slowly broke the trance.
17
H e came back three hours later to find her asleep on the bed. Her tear-stained face snuggled into his pillow. Guilt for leaving her gnawed, but if he’d stayed they’d have accomplished nothing but hurting each other. He unpacked and stowed the groceries before slicing up potatoes, seasoning them, and forming hamburger patties.
“Where are you going now,” she whispered from across the room as he headed to the door.
When he turned she shoved the hair back from her face and wiped at her eyes. “There’s a grill on the roof.” He presented the tray of food and utensils in his hand as explanation. “If you can stand my company, you’re welcome to come.”
She rested
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