so long for the Project that she couldn't imagine her life without it." Even after all this time, he could not keep the bitterness out of his voice.
"I'm sorry," Malik said.
Benzi knew that he had said too much already; being on Earth again had awakened too many memories. "No need to be sorry," he said tonelessly. "My mother would have been gratified to know that some remember her and that a daughter of hers now lives with my father on Venus." He paused. "You seemed anxious to speak to me, but I'm sure that history is not what you had in mind."
Malik halted, then turned to face him. Benzi had to lift his head to gaze into the taller man's brown eyes. The Earthman's face was tense; he seemed to be trying to come to a decision. "I can ask you," Malik said. "Now that I know who you are, I can see you'd understand. You can tell me how to reach your Hab — there must be a way. Maybe you could take me there yourself, but there isn't much chance I'd be chosen to go on your ship."
Benzi was too startled to speak.
"Habbers don't turn away those who reach a Habitat." Malik twisted his hands together. "You have a Link — you could easily let any other pilots who'd come here later know of my wishes. It wouldn't be difficult — a Habber ship could head for your Hab instead of Anwara, and by the time anyone knew, it would be too late to stop it. The other passengers could always be sent to Venus from there, and I could stay behind. Your pilots could always claim that something went wrong with the ship — they could think of a likely story."
The man had apparently been dwelling on this notion. Benzi took a step back, suddenly suspicious; could the Mukhtars have sent this scholar here to lay a trap for unwary Habber pilots? He could not think of why Earth would want to jeopardize its agreement with the Habbers now.
It did not matter whether Malik was being devious or sincere. Benzi would have to give him the same answer in either case.
"It isn't possible," he replied. "There's nothing any of us can do to help you. If you wanted to flee to a Hab, you came to the wrong place."
"It doesn't matter why I came here. Every day I'm here convinces me I made a mistake. I don't belong on Venus, and I can hardly go to the Guardians and say that — I'd be even worse off than I am now. I'm not one of those people who thinks of yours with suspicion and distrust — I've always thought that both our societies could find a common purpose."
"We have one now," Benzi responded. "The Venus Project has drawn some of us together in a common effort. I'm sorry, Malik. If you found a way to reach a Hab by yourself, which is hardly likely, you'd be welcomed, but none of us will risk the agreement we have with Earth to help one man. I can't do anything for you, and I won't try. Too many other lives would be affected. Some on Venus have grown closer to us, and maybe even Earth will learn to trust us in time."
Malik moved closer to him. "Were you thinking of that when you made your escape? You, of all people, should understand how I feel."
"I do, but I also learned what my actions cost others, and I haven't found what I'd hoped to find. Maybe you're thinking that you'd have a Link again and your life would be much as it was, but it wouldn't. A Link gave you power here. It won't in a place where everyone has a Link from late childhood on and there's no power to be had. You'd be an exile. You want to escape Earth, but you'd end up among people who find a purpose in trying to reach out to Earth. I doubt that you'd ever be ready to give up enough of yourself to become one of the others."
"The others?" Malik asked.
"One might call them the true Habitat-dwellers. Earth thinks all Habbers are much like the ones they see, but they're not. We're only a bridge they choose to maintain."
"You sound as if you have regrets."
"It's done," Benzi said. "Regrets are pointless now."
"I had to ask. I had to see if there was a chance. Maybe you're just trying to make it
"I'm sorry," Malik said.
Benzi knew that he had said too much already; being on Earth again had awakened too many memories. "No need to be sorry," he said tonelessly. "My mother would have been gratified to know that some remember her and that a daughter of hers now lives with my father on Venus." He paused. "You seemed anxious to speak to me, but I'm sure that history is not what you had in mind."
Malik halted, then turned to face him. Benzi had to lift his head to gaze into the taller man's brown eyes. The Earthman's face was tense; he seemed to be trying to come to a decision. "I can ask you," Malik said. "Now that I know who you are, I can see you'd understand. You can tell me how to reach your Hab — there must be a way. Maybe you could take me there yourself, but there isn't much chance I'd be chosen to go on your ship."
Benzi was too startled to speak.
"Habbers don't turn away those who reach a Habitat." Malik twisted his hands together. "You have a Link — you could easily let any other pilots who'd come here later know of my wishes. It wouldn't be difficult — a Habber ship could head for your Hab instead of Anwara, and by the time anyone knew, it would be too late to stop it. The other passengers could always be sent to Venus from there, and I could stay behind. Your pilots could always claim that something went wrong with the ship — they could think of a likely story."
The man had apparently been dwelling on this notion. Benzi took a step back, suddenly suspicious; could the Mukhtars have sent this scholar here to lay a trap for unwary Habber pilots? He could not think of why Earth would want to jeopardize its agreement with the Habbers now.
It did not matter whether Malik was being devious or sincere. Benzi would have to give him the same answer in either case.
"It isn't possible," he replied. "There's nothing any of us can do to help you. If you wanted to flee to a Hab, you came to the wrong place."
"It doesn't matter why I came here. Every day I'm here convinces me I made a mistake. I don't belong on Venus, and I can hardly go to the Guardians and say that — I'd be even worse off than I am now. I'm not one of those people who thinks of yours with suspicion and distrust — I've always thought that both our societies could find a common purpose."
"We have one now," Benzi responded. "The Venus Project has drawn some of us together in a common effort. I'm sorry, Malik. If you found a way to reach a Hab by yourself, which is hardly likely, you'd be welcomed, but none of us will risk the agreement we have with Earth to help one man. I can't do anything for you, and I won't try. Too many other lives would be affected. Some on Venus have grown closer to us, and maybe even Earth will learn to trust us in time."
Malik moved closer to him. "Were you thinking of that when you made your escape? You, of all people, should understand how I feel."
"I do, but I also learned what my actions cost others, and I haven't found what I'd hoped to find. Maybe you're thinking that you'd have a Link again and your life would be much as it was, but it wouldn't. A Link gave you power here. It won't in a place where everyone has a Link from late childhood on and there's no power to be had. You'd be an exile. You want to escape Earth, but you'd end up among people who find a purpose in trying to reach out to Earth. I doubt that you'd ever be ready to give up enough of yourself to become one of the others."
"The others?" Malik asked.
"One might call them the true Habitat-dwellers. Earth thinks all Habbers are much like the ones they see, but they're not. We're only a bridge they choose to maintain."
"You sound as if you have regrets."
"It's done," Benzi said. "Regrets are pointless now."
"I had to ask. I had to see if there was a chance. Maybe you're just trying to make it
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