on her feet, throwing her arms around him. He stumbled back, surprised, and then hesitantly joined his arms around her back.
“Thank you so much,” she whispered.
She pulled back, and he cradled her chin, timidly kissing her.
“I know you said you don’t feel that way. But you have to feel the connection we have,” he said softly.
“I do,” she said, gazing up at him. “That’s why I’m here.”
And that’s when I felt myself pulled up. I left them behind as they kissed again, shrinking to a speck and then disappearing.
CHAPTER 10
I OPENED MY eyes and Callie’s patient face was right beside me. The reality of where I was, who I was, took a second to settle. The sad pang upon realizing my mother was gone was sharp for a second, but then it faded. I sat up on the couch, pushing my hair back.
“Are you okay?” Hugh asked, leaning down.
“I’m fine,” I said. I did feel more weary than after the last attempt, but I tried not to give it away. Callie handed me a drink of water and started checking my vitals. My heart monitor beeped steadily.
“That’s so creepy,” Theo said, shaking her head. “I know you were only gone for a half hour but it was like watching a vegetable.”
“What did you see?” Hugh asked.
“You and Claire talking about the prayer group. Right before the rabbit got killed. No real new information, but I was able to switch to a later point in time without much of a frame of reference.”
“That’s promising,” Hugh said, still very serious. “Do you want to try again today?”
“No.” I just didn’t feel like I had it in me. My shoulders were slumping and I could have easily taken a nap right there. “But soon.”
###
At school, everyone seemed to be in on Thornhill’s secret. At least, that’s how it appeared. I was being ignored, which is not what I expected. Maybe they gave up on me, but more likely, they were trying to lull me into a false sense of security.
At lunch, while Madison and Alex gossiped about a party they had been to that weekend, I watched the Thornhill girls wander around, gossiping behind their hands and laughing. Lainey turned and studied me like a bug. I took my hand off of my chin and stared back.
What ? I mouthed after a minute.
She turned away, smug chin tilted to the sky, and headed off.
###
That night, I was reading Eleanor’s diary again. She didn’t feel comfortable sharing much with her psychiatrist, Dr. Wallace, so she spilled her feelings in the pages. I identified with so much―the loneliness, the isolation, the feeling that I was losing my mind. I could have penned much of her confessions.
But there wasn’t concrete information. There were so many points in time that wouldn’t help me. She talked about her days, which involved little other than meals and bland activities, with the occasional chore around the asylum. Sometimes she’d describe the other patients, but she seemed to keep to herself. I saw a few entries about Diane as I got further into the book. She had finally found a friend.
Then she began using her necklace again. These were the entries that caused me to perk up. With the pendant on , she wrote, I can travel to the world of my nightmares. The birds show me the way, and I follow. I think they are trying to send me a message. I don’t know if they’re good or bad, but I feel compelled to trust them.
I continued to read eagerly. But then I stopped, my finger tracing the torn stubs of pages in the center. She must have ripped out several entries. I sighed. Flipping through the small amount of the diary that remained, I figured she must have gotten rid of the entry about the woman in red.
After I’d taken a shower and gotten ready for school the next day, I laid on my stomach and continued to read. There wasn’t much left and I knew I could finish it in an hour.
I finally reached the last page.
Today was the worst day of my life.
Huh? I frowned, but kept reading.
I shouldn’t have gone digging
“Thank you so much,” she whispered.
She pulled back, and he cradled her chin, timidly kissing her.
“I know you said you don’t feel that way. But you have to feel the connection we have,” he said softly.
“I do,” she said, gazing up at him. “That’s why I’m here.”
And that’s when I felt myself pulled up. I left them behind as they kissed again, shrinking to a speck and then disappearing.
CHAPTER 10
I OPENED MY eyes and Callie’s patient face was right beside me. The reality of where I was, who I was, took a second to settle. The sad pang upon realizing my mother was gone was sharp for a second, but then it faded. I sat up on the couch, pushing my hair back.
“Are you okay?” Hugh asked, leaning down.
“I’m fine,” I said. I did feel more weary than after the last attempt, but I tried not to give it away. Callie handed me a drink of water and started checking my vitals. My heart monitor beeped steadily.
“That’s so creepy,” Theo said, shaking her head. “I know you were only gone for a half hour but it was like watching a vegetable.”
“What did you see?” Hugh asked.
“You and Claire talking about the prayer group. Right before the rabbit got killed. No real new information, but I was able to switch to a later point in time without much of a frame of reference.”
“That’s promising,” Hugh said, still very serious. “Do you want to try again today?”
“No.” I just didn’t feel like I had it in me. My shoulders were slumping and I could have easily taken a nap right there. “But soon.”
###
At school, everyone seemed to be in on Thornhill’s secret. At least, that’s how it appeared. I was being ignored, which is not what I expected. Maybe they gave up on me, but more likely, they were trying to lull me into a false sense of security.
At lunch, while Madison and Alex gossiped about a party they had been to that weekend, I watched the Thornhill girls wander around, gossiping behind their hands and laughing. Lainey turned and studied me like a bug. I took my hand off of my chin and stared back.
What ? I mouthed after a minute.
She turned away, smug chin tilted to the sky, and headed off.
###
That night, I was reading Eleanor’s diary again. She didn’t feel comfortable sharing much with her psychiatrist, Dr. Wallace, so she spilled her feelings in the pages. I identified with so much―the loneliness, the isolation, the feeling that I was losing my mind. I could have penned much of her confessions.
But there wasn’t concrete information. There were so many points in time that wouldn’t help me. She talked about her days, which involved little other than meals and bland activities, with the occasional chore around the asylum. Sometimes she’d describe the other patients, but she seemed to keep to herself. I saw a few entries about Diane as I got further into the book. She had finally found a friend.
Then she began using her necklace again. These were the entries that caused me to perk up. With the pendant on , she wrote, I can travel to the world of my nightmares. The birds show me the way, and I follow. I think they are trying to send me a message. I don’t know if they’re good or bad, but I feel compelled to trust them.
I continued to read eagerly. But then I stopped, my finger tracing the torn stubs of pages in the center. She must have ripped out several entries. I sighed. Flipping through the small amount of the diary that remained, I figured she must have gotten rid of the entry about the woman in red.
After I’d taken a shower and gotten ready for school the next day, I laid on my stomach and continued to read. There wasn’t much left and I knew I could finish it in an hour.
I finally reached the last page.
Today was the worst day of my life.
Huh? I frowned, but kept reading.
I shouldn’t have gone digging
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