you or stops by, you need to call us right away, do you understand?â His voice was harsh.
I nodded before I realized he couldnât see me. âOkay,â I whispered. I opened my mouth to say I was sorry, but heâd already hung up. I stared at the phone as if I expected it to spring to life and do something, but it was just a phone. I turned to my mom. âBritney didnât come home for dinner. Her parents are freaking out.â
âI know. Theyâre concerned about her.â
I waited for her to tell me that everything was going to be okay, but she didnât. âI should take a shower,â I mumbled. The air on my sweaty skin gave me shivers.
âI wonder if you should talk to Dr. Sherman.â Momtried to sound casual, but I knew there was nothing casual about the suggestion.
âI donât need to see anyone,â I said. I clenched my hands to make sure they wouldnât start fluttering around. I didnât need therapy. I needed my friends to come back.
âYouâve got a lot on your plate these days,â Mom said. âItâs normal to find it upsetting.â
âIâm fine,â I insisted. I could tell she was trying to decide if she wanted to push it. âAll right, Iâm not fine, but Iâm okay. Iâm dealing.â
âI wish I could save you from feeling anxious,â Mom said. I knew she felt guilty. Thereâs a genetic component to OCD anxiety, and even though I didnât have it nearly as bad as my grandma, I could tell my mom still felt responsible. Genetics can be a real bitch. Personally, I was more upset that Iâd gotten my dadâs giant flipper feet, but saying so probably wouldnât help.
âI think being seventeen means I have to be anxious. Itâs part of the job description,â I said, trying to make things lighter.
Mom didnât smile. âMaybe all this is a good reminder that itâs important to spend time with your other friends. Not just being all wrapped up in Britney and Beth.â
My jaw clenched. âI like Beth and Brit.â I didnât mention that my âother friendsâ werenât real friends at all, just people I hung out with. If I told her that, sheâd be even more convinced I needed some kind of help.
Mom held up her hands. âI like them too, but theyâre intense.â
âYou donât even know them,â I protested.
âIt isnât that I donât like them . . .â
âBut?â I crossed my arms, creating a barrier between us.
âThere are some people who collect more than their fair share of trouble. Iâm not saying itâs their fault, but they do. Itâs my job as your mom to want to keep you out of it.â
Too late. When it came to Beth and Brit, I was already in deep.
Beth stole a bottle of her dadâs bourbon and we took it out to Lighthouse Park .
âWill you get in trouble for taking his booze?â I grabbed a few more pieces of driftwood and stuffed them in the fire pit. I rubbed my hands on my jeans trying to get them warm, but my fingers felt stiff and clumsy from the cold .
Beth had her turtleneck sweater pulled up over her chin. âThis?â She waved the bottle. âMy dad goes through so much he hardly knows what he has anymore. He wonât miss it.â
I touched the match to the dry beach grass under the sticks and blew on it. I tried to buffer the small fire from the wind with my body. I didnât want to fail after Iâd bragged I could do it .
âLook at youâyouâre a regular Girl Scout.â
I couldnât tell if Beth was impressed or making fun of me, but either way, the attention made me glow. âA few years ago my dad got it in his head that we were going to become campers,âI said. âWe bought all the gear and took a daylong class on how to forage, build a shelter, escape from bears, that kind of thing.â The fire
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